绘本《你大爷的快吃》You Have to Fucking Eat

文摘   2024-12-13 12:05   新加坡  

《你大爷的快吃You Have to Fucking Eat

得一忘二 译

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一个月前贴出美国作家Adam  Mansbach亚当·曼斯巴赫创作的绘本《快他妈的睡吧》Go the Fuck to Sleep,因为有粗口fuck,因为我译为他妈的被指责,似乎是译者的问题,而不觉得原文这个其实和他妈的在意味上是最接近的(不要跟我说应该译为肏才是中性的,因为肏其实是强化男性暴力的用语,当然女性越来越接受这个词,也开始使用了,可以阅读我之前有关某个字的一些理论分析)。后来,贴出《快他妈的睡吧》的洁本《别闹,现在就睡觉》,也就没有多少人看了。这个作者还有类似的粗口绘本You Have to Fucking Eat,为了不被骂侮辱女性,我决定将所有的fucking都翻译为(他/你)大爷的,所以这个绘本就变成了《你大爷的快吃》。相信男性们不会说我侮辱啊,哈哈。


《你大爷的快吃》



The sunrise is golden and lovely,

The birds chirp and twitter and tweet,

You woke me and asked for some breakfast,

So why the fuck won’t you eat?

金黄的日出那么可爱,

鸟儿叽叽喳喳在屋外,

你把我弄醒,要吃早餐,

那你大爷的怎么不快吃?


The bunnies are munching on carrots,

The lambs nibble grasses and bleat.

I know you’re too hungry to reason with but

You have to fucking eat.

小兔兔都在啃胡萝卜,

小羊羔咩咩叫地吃草。

我知道你很饿,这会儿不适合调教,

可你大爷的,你必须快把饭吃掉。



You cute little tummy is rumbling

And pancakes are your favorite treat.

I’m kind of surprised that you suddenly hate them.

That’s bullshit. Stop lying and eat.

你可爱的小肚子在咕咕叫,

你最喜欢的食物就是煎饼。

你突然就讨厌吃它让我惊讶。

这太扯了。别撒谎,快吃吧。



The giraffes pluck the tender young leaves up,

The mice snack on seeds and on wheat.

No, sweetheart, I can’t make spaghetti,

The fucking meal’s served. Time to eat.

长颈鹿捋下嫩绿的树叶,

老鼠又吃种籽又吃麦粒。

不行,宝贝,我不做意面,

大爷的,饭在桌上。你快吃。





If we were both pandas I’d know what to feed you,

But seafood is scary, we’re leery of meat.

Half the food at the market is probably toxic,

But fuck it, you still have to eat.

假如我们是熊猫,我会知道该喂你什么,

可是海鲜太不可靠,对肉也要小心。

市场上有一半食物很可能有毒,

但不管他大爷的怎样,你照样得吃。



You’re not finished, and no, you can’t go to school

In pajamas, a hat, and bare feet.

Whatever, put shoes on and bring me your plate,

My whole diet’s the shit you won’t eat.

你还没吃完,不行,你上学可不能

穿着睡衣、戴着帽子、还光着脚。

随你的便,快穿上鞋子,把盘子给我,

你不要吃的这些垃圾都进了我的肚子。



The sloth and the lemur, the chipmunk and cheetah,

The slow and the sleek and the fleet

Share one thing, my love: they make less of a mess

Than you fucking do when they eat.

树懒和狐猴,花栗鼠和猎豹,

有的迟缓、有的敏捷,有的滑溜,

有一点相同,宝贝:它们吃东西

不会像你大爷的搞得一团糟。



How was school, hon? Whoa, your lunch box is full.

How are you not passed out in the street?

How is it you’re smart? How the hell are you growing

When you basically don’t fucking eat?

宝贝,学校怎样?你餐盒的午餐一点没少。

你怎么没有在街上晕倒?

你脑子还怎么好?你大爷的,你几乎

什么都不吃,还能长这么大?



You know who loves dinner? The duck-billed platypus.

But I know I’m facing defeat.

This spoon-feeding shit makes me wonder

Why the fuck we weaned you from the teat.

你知道谁喜欢吃晚餐?鸭嘴兽。

但是我知道这失败我躲不开。

这种用勺子喂食的方式让我怀疑,

他大爷的,我们干嘛让你断奶。



I hope you know it’s super-special

To go to a restau—Hey, back in your seat.

You shitting me? This whole menu’s crap to you

But a roll on the floor—that you’ll eat?

我希望你能明白在饭店吃饭

尤其特别——嘿,回到你座位上来。

你乱搞什么?整本菜单对你都是垃圾,

而滚到地上的那坨——你倒想吃?



Yum, this looks great. Five big bites, my darling.

Fine. Three, but don’t try to cheat.

A lot of kids don’t get asparagus,

Show some fucking respect for them. Eat.

呀咪,这个看起来超棒。咬五大口。

好吧,那就三口,宝贝,但不许假装。

很多小朋友不吃芦笋,你大爷的,

怎么也要对它们做出点尊重吧。快吃。



Oh, now you’re hungry? Tough shit, kitchen’s closed.

Have some warm milk. For me a scotch, neat.

Pancakes? Yeah, right. It’s bedtime, child,

It’s too goddamn late now to eat.

哦,现在你饿啦?别想了,厨房关了。

你喝点热牛奶。我来杯纯威士忌。

煎饼?哦,那个啊,该睡觉了,孩子,

你大爷的,现在吃煎饼太晚了。



Okay. One pancake and that’s it,

You’re exhausting and I’m fucking beat.

And tomorrow we’ve got to rise early as roosters

To fight more about what to eat.

好吧。那就吃煎饼,一块就好,

你累透了,而我他大爷的也累惨了。

明天我们必须起早,像公鸡一样,

又要为吃什么而争吵。



I’m pretty sure that you’re malnourished

And scurvied. My failure’s complete.

But on the bright side, maybe this is the night

You’ll go the fuck to sleep.

我非常肯定你营养不良,

还有坏血病。我失败得彻头彻尾。

但从好的方面来看,也许今晚

你会他大爷的好好入睡。



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