Go the Fuck to Sleep
《快他妈的睡吧》
【十年前看到这个绘本，觉得好玩，就翻译了；当然，为了简洁，应该译为“妈的快睡”，但那样节奏就难以做匀，所以还是译成长一点的“快他妈的睡吧”。】
《快他妈的睡吧》Go the Fuck to Sleep是美国作家Adam Mansbach亚当·曼斯巴赫创作、Ricardo Certés（里卡多·塞尔迪斯）插画的一本讽刺小书，被描述为“给成人读的儿童读物”。这本书在发布前一个月就登上了亚马逊畅销书榜单第一名，因为当时做营销的时候，书商通过电子邮件转发这本书的PDF副本，从而完成了一场意外的病毒式营销。
亚当·曼斯巴赫的女儿薇薇安3岁时，每天要四个钟头才能入睡。有一天晚上，疲惫不堪、气急败坏的曼斯巴赫在Facebook上发帖称：“请关注我即将出版的儿童读物《快他妈的睡吧》。
Go the Fuck to Sleep
《快他妈的睡吧》
The cats nestle close to their kittens,
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You are cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep.
现在这个时间，老猫拥着小猫，
小羊羔已经趴下，靠着羊妈。
你在床上，这么暖和、舒服，
宝贝儿，请你快他妈的睡觉。
The windows are dark in the town, child.
The whales huddle down in the deep.
I'll read you one very last book if you swear
You'll go the fuck to sleep.
镇上的窗户都漆黑，我的小孩。
鲸鱼靠拢在一起，团聚在深海。
我再给你读最后一段，但你得保证
读完后你就快他妈的睡觉。
The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.
老鹰在天空飞驰，现在已经休息。
爬的、走的、游的，都已安安静静。
我知道你不渴。你别再胡搅蛮缠。
你他妈的躺好，快你妈的睡吧。
The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon.
The field mice, they make not a peep.
It's been thirty-eight minutes already.
Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Go to sleep.
微风低语，亲，轻轻滑过草地。
田鼠不再抬头张望，一动不动。
我哄你已经哄了三十八分钟。
天啊，你他妈的怎么还不睡觉。
All the kids from day care are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you can't go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.
所有入托的孩子都在梦乡。
青蛙也已一跳不跳。
你这个混蛋，别想再上厕所。
你明白该去哪儿？快你妈的睡觉。
The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air they soar and they sweep.
The hot, crimson rage fills my heart, love.
For real: shut the fuck up and sleep.
猫头鹰都已经飞离树梢，
穿过夜空，齐刷刷地飞远飞高。
我心底憋着通红的怒火，我真的
憋着呢，你他妈的赶紧闭嘴睡觉。
The cubs and the lions are snoring (snore)
Wrapped in a big, snuggly heap.
How come you can do all this other great shit
But you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
老狮子小狮子都已在打鼾，
它们窝在一起，暖暖的一堆。
你能搞出那么多奇葩的花招，
就不能你妈的躺好，快点入睡？
The seeds slumber beneath the earth now,
And the crops that the farmers will reap.
No more questions, this interview's over.
I've got two words for you, kid: fucking sleep.
现在种子也在泥土下沉沉入睡，
谷子在沉睡中等着农民收割。
别再问什么问题，问答到此结束。
我只想说：你他妈的，快给我睡觉。
The tiger reclines in the Siberian jungle.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
Fuck your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit.
Close your eyes, cut the crap: sleep.
老虎静静地蜷曲在闷热的丛林。
麻雀已不再吱吱喳喳地鸣叫。
别想你妈的玩具熊，我屁也不给你拿。
闭上眼睛，少废话，快他妈的睡觉。
Flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I'm a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me please, and sleep.
花儿垂着头在草坪上打盹，
陡峭的山上也是它们的睡床。
我的人生真是失败，一个屎一样的家长。
你别再他妈的胡搅，赶紧给我去睡觉。
The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing
As I lie here and openly weep.
Sure, fine, whatever, I'll bring you some milk.
Who the fuck cares? You're not gonna sleep.
马达加斯加的穿山甲在打呼，
我已经躺倒，我没法儿不哭。
行，好，随便。我给你去拿牛奶。
你就没想睡觉。谁他妈的还在乎？
This room is all I can remember.
The furniture crappy and cheap.
You win! You escape, you run down the hall
As I nod the fuck off and sleep.
我能记得的就剩这首打油歪诗。
家具发出吱吱咋咋的怪叫。
你赢了，你逃了，你跑到了客厅。
我他妈挣不住了，倒头就已睡着。
Bleary and dazed I awaken
To find your eyes shut, so I keep
My fingers crossed tight, as I tip-toe away
And pray that you're fucking asleep.
我眼睛惺忪地醒来，恍恍惚惚，
发现你眼睛已闭上，所以我
蹑手蹑脚走开，满心指望
你他妈的这次真的已经睡着。
We're finally watching our movie.
Popcorn's in the microwave: "beep!"
Oh shit, goddamn it, you've got to be kidding.
Go the fuck back to sleep!
我们终于能看自己想看的电影。
爆米花在微波炉里。啪、啪啪。
哦，操！额滴娘啊。这是神马奇葩。
熊孩子，来吧，我们他妈的去睡觉。
【听著名演员Samuel L. Jackson的朗读】
