美国当代诗人法兰克·毕达特《渴望绝对》《那些夜晚》
得一忘二 译
法兰克·毕达特(Frank Bidart, 1939-)曾跟随罗伯特·洛厄尔习诗,也是洛厄尔诗全集的编者。他1973年出版第一本诗集,2021年出版最新诗集《反对沉默》(Against Silence)。他诗歌从形式、语言、写作角度和主题呈现上都很独特,而且风格多变。他1997年的诗集《欲望》(Desire)史无前例地进入美国诗歌三大奖(普利策、全国图书奖、书评人协会奖)的终选名单。他是同性恋,并融入了很深的自白派风格。他获得很多重要诗歌奖,包括博林格诗歌奖,美国全国图书奖、普利策奖、格里芬国际诗歌奖终身成就奖等。之前说过,他的诗不好译,这首也不例外。读英文的,可以对比一下。这首诗选自他的诗集《形而上的狗》。
《渴望绝对》
地球,你知道是圆的,但看起来是平的。
无法信赖
感官。
你以为自己已经见过每个种类的生物
却没见过
这一个。
•
遇到他时,我就知道我终于
断奶了,不再需要上帝,不
渴望绝对。哦,未解渴的
嘴,舔着既在之物且必然是
无法理解的东西——
说:你不是有限的存在。你不是有限的。
Hunger for the Absolute
Earth you know is round but seems flat.
You can’t trust
your senses.
You thought you had seen every variety of creature
but not
this creature.
•
When I met him, I knew I had
weaned myself from God, not
hunger for the absolute. O unquenched
mouth, tonguing what is and must
remain inapprehensible—
saying You are not finite. You are not finite.
《那些夜晚》
(致M. P.)
那些夜晚,尽管他疲惫或冷漠
而你还是坚持,然后它终于
流行起来,以至他也很想
要,还突然不顾一切想得到,
你感觉到他肌肉对它的欲望,
胜过任何别的,似乎经过这混乱,这荒野,
他再次认识到他必须达成的那件事,
尽管后来,找到它
之后,他的怨恨暗示当时他是被迫的。
• • •
那些夜晚之所以结束,因为
缺失的东西永远无法
靠意志弥补。我们,可以通过
言语到达哪儿,无法
借助性达到。你说,我是你的
心理医生:我以那样的方式
拥抱你。作为独立自己,我失败了。
• • •
你死了,现在很确凿。我搜索过
多个数据库:你处处躲避
我们。很久以前,你还没来得及
告诉我,瘟疫就已确凿地
杀死了你。你发现你生活中
每件事
都与精神实质那般不配,
以我想象,以至于它变得
不可追索,会令你微笑。
Those Nights
(For M. P.)
Those nights when despite his exhaustion or indifference
you persisted, then finally it
caught, so that at last he too
wanted it, suddenly was desperate to reach it,
you felt his muscles want it
more than anything, as if through this chaos, this
wilderness he again knew the one thing he must reach
though later, after
he found it, his resentment implied he had been forced.
• • •
Those nights ended because what was
missing could never be by
the will supplied. We who could get
somewhere through
words through
sex could not. I was, you said, your
shrink: that’s how
I held you. I failed as my own.
• • •
Now you surely are dead. I’ve searched
the databases: you everywhere
elude us. Long ago without your
reaching to tell me, surely
the plague killed you. Each thing in your life
you found so
incommensurate to the spirit
I imagine that becoming
untraceable makes you smile.