今天和大家详细讲讲口译点评反馈中大家比较突出的一个问题“语句衔接生硬”，“句式表达单一”，“表达不清晰，抽象模糊”以及平时训练时应该如何去克服这个难题。
前两天带一位同学练口译时，做了一段无笔记口译，内容如下：
非常荣幸能够在这里与大家分享关于知识产权司法保护的思考今天，知识产权保护面临着前所未有的挑战。在新时代，知识产权已经成为国家竞争力的重要体现。
例如，如何界定人工智能生成的作品是否属于版权保护范围？如何对复杂的跨国侵权案件进行有效应对？
这位同学之前已经跟我学过基本口译技巧，所以边听边脑记配合把内容都记下来了，口译开口快，表达流畅，声音稳定。但是仔细听翻译出来的内容，却发现过于偏字面，如下：
It is my privilege to address you today on the topic of challenges of judicial protection on IPR, as IPR is very important for your country's competitiveness and innovation, we are confronted with many problems. For example, should AI generated work be protected by law as a copyright or how should, how do we respond corrective, effectively to this increasing complex cross border infringement activities?
录音听感是流畅，舒服的，乍一听可能觉得还不错，但是内容转成文字问题就比较明显了。
首先这一段缺少一些过渡衔接语句或者逻辑词（有的地方用错了），都是简单句直接衔接在一起，表达略生硬。比如，As IPR is important for countries' competitiveness and innovation, we are confronted with many problems 这一句逻辑有点别扭，原文并没有这一层关系。更多是一种转折关系，先说好的，然后话锋一转凸显出问题。用However来衔接更合适。
其实这一段的思路就是，点出主题→描述主题背景→强调挑战→具体罗列问题, 在此基础上，我最后和这位同学建议这一段可以按照下文处理.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Today, I am privileged to speak to you about the critical challenges in judicial protection of Intellectual Property Rights (IPR), which is pivotal to our nation's innovation and competitiveness.
However, amid rapid technological change and globalization, we face daunting challenges in this area. A prime example is the dispute of whether AI-generated works should be eligible for copyright protection. In addition, we also grapple with the growingly complex cross-border infringement, which necessitates our effective response.
这样英文表达更精炼，意思清晰的同时也更节省翻译时间。口译新手练到一定的程度，当流畅度，反应速度达到一定程度时，就要更花心思打磨自己的表达质量，尤其是注重表达逻辑以及表达精简和灵活度。
另外一个例子，口译录音原文如下：
随着我国经济的快速发展，环境保护问题日益突出。政府已经采取了一系列措施来减少污染，提高环境质量。我们坚信，通过不懈努力，我们能够实现经济发展与环境保护的双赢。
测试同学口译译文：
With the fast development of our country's economy, the problem of environmental protection is becoming more and more obvious. The government has done a lot of things to reduce pollution and make the environment better. We believe that if we keep working hard, we can make both the economy develop and the environment be protected at the same time. 问题分析反馈：
语句衔接生硬：“the problem of environmental protection is becoming more and more obvious”和“The government has done a lot of things”之间的衔接较为生硬。
句式表达单一：整段译文中句式较为单一，缺少变化，使得表达显得单调。表达不清晰，抽象模糊：“done a lot of things”表达过于笼统。还有这里“We believe that if we keep working hard, we can make both the economy develop and the environment be protected at the same time.”都是we开头的句子，句式重复表达单一，而且用词略基础，虽然意思出来了，但是语言质量提高空间。
针对性的修改意见：
改善语句衔接：可以通过使用连接词和过渡短语来增强句子之间的连贯性，例如使用“Consequently,” “In response to,” “Furthermore”等。
丰富句式表达：尝试使用复合句和并列句来增加句式的多样性，例如使用“not only... but also”结构。
明确表达：尽量使用具体的动词和名词来替换抽象的表达，使意思更加明确。
参考修改：
Amidst the rapid economic growth in our country, environmental protection has emerged as an increasingly pressing issue. In response to this challenge, the government has implemented a series of measures aimed at mitigating pollution and enhancing environmental quality. With unwavering commitment, we are poised to strike a balance between fostering economic prosperity and environmental protection.
今天就和大家分享这么多了，希望大家的口译学习有帮助！
