Night's darkness is a bag that bursts with the gold of the dawn.

夜之黑暗是一只盛满了迸出黎明金光的口袋。

Do people become less sociable with age?

随着年龄的增长，人们会变得不那么善于交际吗？

1

Some researchers at a Royal Society symposium, with nothing better to do, have come up with a theory that animals become less sociable as they age. They found that creatures from house sparrows to rhesus macaques have smaller social circles as they get older and that an antisocial old age might just be an advantage – in humans as well as animals. Not in my biased opinion. It sounds very dull. Anyway I question their findings: I actually think a decline in sociability is a general societal trend, rather than having anything to do with ageing.

I do struggle to communicate in depth with my younger friends and family. If I did not insist on an occasional face-to-face encounter with my grandchildren, we would never hold a proper conversation – our sociability would be reduced to messages on my phone. These usually take a while to understand because of inaccuracies blamed on “predictive text”, or having to interpret the expression on a bad caricature of a face – the “emojis” they use to indicate their mood, rather than bothering to find the words to define rage, joy or, heaven forbid, something subtle, such as indecision or trepidation. I do worry that evolution will gradually phase out the human larynx. And if AI succeeds, the brain as well.

But while a tiny screen is not my favourite way of communicating, meeting in person is not as easy as it used to be. It seems to me that a lot of grown-up socialising today is alcohol-dependent. For some people getting “plastered”, “legless” or “paralytic” is considered a great night out. I think, as one ages, the resultant bodily suffering becomes less bearable, and the hours wasted doing things one can’t remember, and if one does, probably regrets, seem a waste of precious, fast-ebbing time. So, most of us probably do less of that in old age. And, if I’ve understood the research correctly, cutting down on indiscriminate mingling might make us ((like adult female red deer) )less likely to have worms – so that’s another benefit of a more choosy social life.

Of course, there was alcohol in local pubs when I was young, but there used to be a gentle sociability in them that linked all ages. I should know, I grew up in one. The regulars sat at the bar chatting to the landlord and greeting arrivals. Others of all ages were at the dartboard or sitting at tables with dominoes or cards. Old ladies gathered in a corner sipping port-and-lemon drinks and setting the world to rights. Everyone kept an eye on the kids on the steps outside with their crisps and fizzy lemonade. There was a lot of laughter, occasional tears, and yes, sometimes rage, which in the pub where my parents worked could lead to clumsy fisticuffs. This was usually broken up by the other customers, the black eyes tended, and the blood mopped up by the old ladies. The local copper would drop in to tell people to behave. It was a fairly successful formula for sociability, which I look back on with pleasure.

Then there is the question of parties. I must confess I do not enjoy standing up with a crowd of other people, glass in hand, grabbing at passing tasteless titbits in some uncomfortable, trendy venue. But then I never did. I dread those endless “important” birthday parties that people seem to have nowadays. They start at 40 and occur every decade, and celebrants get gradually more and more miserable in this countdown to death. Sixty has lately been a frightening landmark for some of my daughters’ generation.

Journal：theguardian

Title：Do people become less sociable with age?（6 Nov 2024）

Category：Ageing

While a tiny screen is not my favourite way of communicating, meeting in person is not as easy as it used to be.

虽然小屏幕不是我最喜欢的交流方式，但面对面的交流并不像以前那么容易。

Don't waste the precious time in talk.

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