外刊阅读 | 今日心理学 | 纵容的父母如何伤害孩子？

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CRISPR-based approaches can help expand the genetic toolkit microbiome engineers have available, bringing them a step closer to understanding the roles and interactions between microbial community members and how these shape their communities and influence the organisms’ hosting them. 

基于crispr的方法可以帮助扩展微生物工程师可用的遗传工具包，使他们更接近于理解微生物群落成员之间的角色和相互作用，以及这些成员如何塑造他们的群落并影响生物体的宿主。

How Permissive Parents Hurt Their Children

纵容的父母如何伤害孩子?

1

When Terrie moved to town and joined her local parenting group, she was surprised to find so many people sharing stories of difficulties with their child’s behavior. Many of these comments came with groans of dismay and shared stories of restaurant debacles and lost TV privileges. After a few gatherings, Terrie admitted that she never had to set limits for Elizabeth, who was eight years old, and time outs were exceedingly rare.

Terrie has adopted what can be called the indulgent/permissive parent position. This is most typically identified by the parent’s outright and pervasive over-indulgence. The child is provided with most everything she wants and, in some cases, with everything money can buy. She is seen as “special,” prettier than other children, more likable than other children, more popular than other children, or put simply, just better all around. As such, she is deserving of special treatment. She doesn't need to “worry her pretty little head” about insignificant things or the duties and obligations of daily life. The child is overly valued, and the relationship is characterized by excessive caretaking and attention accompanied by limited demands.

The critical elements in the indulgent/permissive parent position involve the parent’s view of the child as special, and the parent’s treatment of the child, which is characterized by a lack of discipline and a general pattern of indulgence.The combination of this dysfunctional view of the child and this dysfunctional treatment of the child leads to a sense of entitlement. Elizabeth believes she deserves to be the one who picks the games on the playground. She believes her games are fundamentally better, and everyone else should recognize that. She has neither accepted mature limits on the self nor the realistic limits common to all healthy relationships.

If the grandiose or inflated view of the child does not become moderated through limit setting and frustration, the child clings to the view of themselves as better than others and comes to expect special treatment in the form of effusive caring and pampering. This type of child appears to be “spoiled,” and is ultimately emotionally immature and ill-equipped to engage in the mutuality of healthy relationships. Regardless of their presentation to the world, they are entitled.

Interestingly, parental indulgence can make children look more mature than they actually are for a while, especially when younger. Parents may explain that their child does not tantrum much, but that seeming strength is the result of the fact that he has not been exposed to much frustration. However, as the indulged child spends more time away from the home, real-world frustrations cannot be avoided and are poorly managed. The child, who earlier appeared to be well adjusted, throws tantrums, flings harsh words at friends, bursts into tears far too often, or acts aggressively toward others.

Journal：psychologytoday

Title：How Permissive Parents Hurt Their Children(October 28, 2024)

Category：Parenting

Accomplishment without effort and fulfillment without investment undermine the development of the essential structures that ensure health and maturity.

没有努力的成就和没有投入的满足会削弱那些保障健康与成熟所必需的基本结构的发展。

Indulgence fuels entitlement, problems in anger management, and narcissism.

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