动笔写这篇续写day 146 读后续写- “子夏问孝，子曰：‘色难。’”之前，我先在纸上罗列了续写文本的信息，然后确定了主角和故事中女儿沟通的态度是 wish not preach 祝福而非说教，然后才提笔。
渐渐地，凌乱的笔迹填满了一张a4纸。
在写作过程中，我不断在思考，这篇文章中哪里能透出一点灵气，再不济，也显出一丝匠气，然后写到第二段刚开头的时候，我突然想到了这个故事的结尾，也就是“Thank you for your present” 和 “Thank you for your presence” 的呼应和对照。
简简单单两个词，present 和 presence，一个是祝福，一个是怀念。定下来这句话，我才回过头来开始想前面的情节。
在第二段的设计中其实有一段时间上的留白。在故事中的母亲付款之后，与女儿进行了短暂的交流，但彼时我并未让母亲和主人公“我”直接互动结尾，而是在买录像带和最后的对话中插入了一段空白。这样的设计原因有二：
一、本文的情境设置在节日期间的商场中，主人公兼职的录像店只是所有店面其中一家，所以母亲和女儿买完东西继续逛是合理的。同时，原文设计了女儿最开始非常不耐烦，所以在第一段结束后，母女二人能一起逛商场，本身也体现出了两人之间关系缓和，尤其是女儿变得更加体贴的细节。
二、留下空白，其实也是让女儿的情感得以充分的发酵和调整，使她能够在和母亲的相处中，寻找合适的契机去缓和，去交流，进而引出主人公在这其中扮演的角色。同时，也为母亲最后和主人公的互动埋下合理的伏笔，留下小小的悬念。
这篇文章中还有其他的一些设计，都是我代入角色后认为合理的行为或心理，读者们可以从字句中细细揣摩。
下面就是我修改后第二版的尝试，如你尚未读过题目day 146 读后续写- “子夏问孝，子曰：‘色难。”，或读完还想读上一篇加长版day 147 读后续写- 感谢你的礼物，感谢你的出现，可以点相应的名字链接去看。
enjoy your read!
下面是我的续写尝试
Para 1: As the cashier put the DVD into a plastic bag, I walked over to the younger woman.
Though it wasn’t my place to judge, the holiday spirit, the older woman’s company or perhaps the refreshed memories of my late mother prompted me to act. “Happy Holidays!” I greeted her, who, after checking my uniform, confirmed she was the daughter. I explained how the older woman had reminded me of my mom and how I'd enjoyed helping her. The surprise on the daughter’s face was evident as I wished her a happy New Year filled with family memories. Then, noticing the mother approaching, I turned to leave, accompanied by a surprising murmur of gratitude: “Thank you.”
Para 2: The elderly woman moved with her deliberate slowness back to her daughter.
Retreating to the front aisles, I could only catch a glimpse of the daughter’s face. As she spotted the plastic bag, her irritation faded, revealing a glow of gratitude. Relieved, I returned to my duties, the earlier encounter receding amid the bustling holiday cheer. Suddenly, I felt a gentle tap on my arm. It was the elderly woman, her grace enhanced by her years, and her daughter smiling by the door. "Thank you for your present," her voice brimmed with joy. Once again touched by her sweet, familiar manner, I smiled back, "Thank you, ma'am, for your presence."
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