下棋的小孩
[俄] 奥尔嘉·谢达科娃
骆家 译
我们在预感中生活
活那些我们不必非活不可的东西。无上荣光。
新婚之夜。睿智、精神矍铄的晚年。
儿孙──不在的那个儿子的孩子。
不,不是空想在玩弄人类的心。
小孩明白,他因何如此倍感欣慰。
超越他下棋。
我们没看见脸。我们从门缝里看他
母亲看了一下──立刻平静走开:
他在下棋。皎洁的光照在地板。
──他还要下一会儿棋。
我还有时间把该做的事情做完。
时间不等人,趁他在下棋。
预感在最不幸时离我们而去:
这已非外表如此。这是我们自己。美妙
在此种听不见的音乐里,洁白的房间,
他全身心地下着棋,
这个正在下跳棋的孩子。
Child Playing
Olga Sedakova
In anticipation we live through
what will never be. Great glory.
The wedding night, sage energetic old age.
Grandchildren ─ the children of a nonexistent son.
No, empty dreams do not play with men’s hearts.
The child knows what soothes him.
What he plays with.
We don’t see the face. We look upon it, like a mother
does, through the door, and peacefully goes away:
he is playing. A white ray on the floor.
─ He’ll play some more,
I’ll have time to do all that I must.
Time doesn’t wait, he is playing.
Before the disaster our anticipation deserts us:
Now it’s not external, it’s we ourselves. Sublimely
in this inaudible music, in the white room.
That’s how he plays at the heart,
a child, who’s playing checkers.
Translated from Russian by Andrew Wachtel
这个天使在微笑──
我问,尽管我知道,
你肯定已准备妥当:
毕竟我没跟任何人讲,
除了跟你,
一个内心无法承受背叛的人
一位大地上你的,
这里全民为其加冕的国王,
另一位主宰者。
天上的王,我们的羔羊,
在希望中行将倒毙,
你会再次听到我的声音:
一遍又一遍,
仿佛每个夜晚
用铃铛呼唤我的名字
这里,是盛产优质小麦
和亮晶晶葡萄的地方,
麦穗和葡萄串
汲取我的声音──
但仍然,
在这粉色的碎石子里,
举起,
世界大战中反击的手,
仍然请允许我提醒:
你准备好了吗?
瘟疫,饥饿,懦夫,大火,
异族入侵,受愤怒驱使?
这一切无疑很重要,但非我所说。
不,我要提醒的不是这些。
不是为此才将我遣来。
我说:
你
准备好了吗
对不可思议的幸福?
译注:
1. 弗朗索瓦·费迪尔(François Fédier,1935-2021),法国哲学家,翻译家。
The Angel of Rheims
For François Fédier
Olga Sedakova
Are you ready?
This angel smiles ─
I ask, although I know
That you are doubtless ready:
For I am not speaking to just anyone,
But to you,
One whose heart will not survive the betrayal
Of your earthly king,
Who was crowned here before all the people,
Or of your other Lord,
The King of Heaven, our Lamb,
Who dies in the hope
That you will hear me again;
Again and again,
As every evening
My name is rung out by the bells
Here, in the country of excellent wheat
And bright grapes,
And tassel and cluster
Trembling respond ─
But all the same,
Set in this pink crumbling stone,
I raise my hand,
Broken off in the World War.
All the same, let me remind you:
Are you ready?
For plague, famine, earthquake, fire,
Foreign invasions, wrath visited upon us?
All this is doubtless important.
But it is not what I mean.
It is not what I was sent for.
I say:
Are you
Ready
For unbelievable joy?
Translated from Russian by Larissa Volokhonsky and Emily Grosholz
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