day 204 读后续写- 半杯欢喜,半杯愁

文摘   2024-12-07 12:00   山西  
这篇续写day 203 读后续写- 在凛冽的雪原开出鲜艳的花是福建的小朋友分享的泉州四校联考题目。
写作过程最难的其实是结尾句,其他都还比较顺利。不过因为词数限制,有些情节不得不删去,有些表达也不得不简化,导致第一第二段的衔接没有理想中流畅。这也是考生们带着镣铐跳舞的现实。我们能做的就是适应。
这篇结尾我本打算借用原文中cup half empty,在最后与Disneyland结合一下,但最终决定切换视角,重写了一个隐喻。我会把原结尾也放在后面,大家可以挑自己喜欢的。
下面我就把我的尝试分享给大家,如果你尚未读过题目,可以先自己揣摩day 203 读后续写- 在凛冽的雪原开出鲜艳的花
enjoy your read!

下面是我的续写尝试


Para 1: One day, Jake came home from school and complained as usual.

"Mom, it rained during recess, and I got soaked!” His voice dripped with disappointment. Feeling the familiar frustration, I took a deep breath, “That sounds tough, Jake. Anything good happened?” He looked at me incredulously as though he were asked to speak a foreign language. But after a moment's pause, he sighed, “Well, I did get to sit next to Ben at Math who helped me with my problems.” I noticed a slight lift in his shoulders and a flicker of light in his eyes. “That’s great! Focusing on those moments can really help shift how we feel.” I smiled.

Para 2: From then on, Jake came to understand the power of seeing good points.

Each day, I encouraged him to find just one bright spot amidst his grumbles. Slowly, change emerged. "Today, although I didn't score in basketball practice, I made a really cool play," he would say, his tone shifting from lament to pride. Then, the more he practiced, the more spirited he was. Once, after a really rough day, he added, “You know, Mom, it wasn’t all bad. At least I finished my book report!” Those words almost sent me to tears for my son used to walk in the shadows, but now he embraced the light. 

第一版结尾:Those words almost sent me to tears for in the cup of life, Jake was once consumed by the spills, but now he also saw the thrills.


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ReadWithChris
随性地写作,阳光地成长,嬉笑着生活Sometimes we don’t know what something is until it’s gone. So, let’s play.
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