本文996词，预计读完需要16分钟。↓↓ 查看译文/答案 ↓↓ The Double Standard of Aging for WomenAgeism leads to a fixation on youth and beauty, especially for women.Posted November 22, 2024 | Reviewed by Davia SillsWomen experience pressure to maintain a youthful appearance through every stage of life.In a double standard, men are more respected as they age, while women's value lies in their appearance.There's a tendency to associate aging with decline for women, while for men it's a sign of wisdom and success.The fixation on youth and beauty for women often takes a psychological and emotional toll.This month, I celebrated a birthday. Most years, my birthdays are a time of celebration, reflection, and excitement—I have always loved my birthday. But this year’s celebration came with a dose of frustration, particularly when it came to the comments I received about my age: “Don’t worry, you don’t look your age!” You’re going to have to start covering up those greys!” “I bet you didn’t want another birthday, huh?” These were just a few of the remarks I heard from well-meaning friends and acquaintances, and while I know they were meant to be light-hearted, they left me feeling disheartened and, frankly, frustrated.The assumption that I wouldn’t want to celebrate my birthday or that I should be distressed by growing older is rooted in a larger narrative about aging: that we should fear it, fight it, and always strive to appear younger. While this message on ageism is received by all genders, society is far harder on women.The Double StandardIn many ways, aging is a societal issue that’s far more loaded for women than for men. From an early age, women are socialized to value youth and beauty above almost anything else,3 and this pressure to maintain a youthful appearance persists through every stage of life1,2. In contrast, men, particularly as they age, are often celebrated for the very things women are criticized for—like gaining weight, showing wrinkles, or graying hair. There is a societal tendency to associate aging with decline for women, while for men, it’s often seen as a sign of wisdom, success, and gravitas.What struck me most was how different the reactions were when my partner, who is the same age, had his birthday earlier in the year. He might have had the occasional remark about his age or appearance, but it didn’t control the narrative. Instead, he was simply wished well, and people celebrated his day as they would any other.No one made him feel as though aging was something he should be ashamed of. If anything, he is seen as more of an authority in his career, reinforcing that men are not held to these same standards.The Pressure to Not Age—or at Least Look Like We Don’tThe comments I received about my birthday and my age illustrate this double standard perfectly. When people tell me, “You don’t look your age,” the underlying message is clear: Aging isn’t something to be embraced or celebrated; it’s something to be avoided at all costs.The implication is that women should somehow defy the natural course of time. If you do age, you must do so gracefully—by looking as young as possible for as long as possible. In contrast, a man’s value is rarely based on his looks alone. In fact, men often gain more respect and recognition as they age, while women can find themselves pushed to the margins as they grow older2.The fixation on youth and beauty for women often takes a psychological and emotional toll. Women are frequently told, both overtly and subtly, that their value lies in their appearance3. As we get older, this can feel like a constant reminder that we are no longer the “ideal” woman in society’s eyes.That can manifest in everything from workplace dynamics—where older women are often overlooked or underappreciated—to media portrayals that glorify youth and villainize aging. Advertisements for anti-aging creams and treatments constantly bombard us with messages that suggest aging is something we need to fight against. The comment about me soon needing to “cover up those greys” further illustrates this.The pressure can be especially suffocating for women who are in their 30s, 40s, and beyond, as the media’s narrow definitions of beauty often exclude those who are no longer young. My partner, who is the same age as me, doesn’t receive the same pressures because, in society’s eyes, aging is a less problematic issue for him. His experience of aging is one of maturity, stability, and even authority. For me, however, my age is treated as something to be mitigated and softened.Age and IdentityAging, for me, is a sign of growth, of experience, and of the wisdom I’ve gained over the years. In fact, I find that the older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the more confident I become, and the more empowered I feel in all aspects of my life. Although my face may have been smoother and my hair longer, my younger years were filled with so much trauma and stress. While I am so grateful for my experiences and the lessons I learned, I would not trade places with younger me.Changing the NarrativeHow can we begin to challenge these ingrained attitudes and the societal double standards that exist around aging? First and foremost, it starts with acknowledging the bias and discrimination that we, especially women, face as they age. We need to shift the narrative away from equating youth with worth and value. As women, we should be allowed to age with dignity and celebrate the milestones that come with it without the added pressure to look, act, or feel any different than we did when we were younger.We also need to advocate for more inclusive representations of women in media and public life—women who are confident, empowered, and real, regardless of their age. Society needs to move beyond the idea that a woman’s worth is tied to her appearance and instead recognize that our contributions, achievements, and lived experiences are what define us.We need to change the conversation around aging, especially for women. It’s time we challenge these societal expectations and celebrate the natural progression of life, no matter how many candles are on the cake. Aging is not something to be feared or denied, but something to be embraced.
