我批北外(博学笃行)《讲好中国故事从北外改起？...》800词英语文28处语病。北外从善如流，几乎照单全改。昨天有微友批北外后夸其母校上海外国语大学“英汉语对译全球排名第一”官网英语水平超一流云云。我点开上外英文网，当即发现About SISU全页八句英语竟有六个病句！“学贯中外”的上外，官网各种错误，翩翩起舞！![]()
【病句1】SISU is committed to preparing innovative professionals for a wide range of international expertise to address the global challenges.1.【错用the】将来还不确定的全球挑战，零冠词，删the。2.【错用prepare】惯用法prepare sb. for sth(训练人准备好做事)，如Schools should do more to prepare the students for the world of work.学校应该采取更多措施帮助学生为职场做好准备。prepare后宾语是原状态受训者，而innovative professionals已是具有创新能力专才，应改为train /cultivate /nurture。
【修改句1】The University is committed to cultivating students into innovative professionals with broad international expertise to address global challenges. ![]()
【病句2】Founded in 1949, SISU is an elite university with an established reputation for foreign studies.
3.【语义重复】先说Founded后又established，有点车轱辘话，说得好像SISU是因成立得早而建立声誉似的。
4.【修饰降级】前说elite university翘楚大学，再说established reputation(建立起来的声誉)，语义回退还降程度，改为更直接的renowned for(以...著称)。
5.【原因不确】reputation for foreign studies搞外研不会直接获卓越声誉，应改为更具体的如for its expertise in foreign studies。
既然SISU那么喜欢established，倒是可以用来替换Founded。改进：孤立短句的句首分词短语Founded in 1949宜改插入语放句中补充说明。
【修改句2】SISU, established in 1949, is a prestigious university renowned for its expertise in foreign studies.![]()
【病句3】Explore the history of SISU where China's higher education in foreign languages took shape. (大意：探寻上外发展史，领略中国外语教育高校发展历程。)
6.【用词笨拙】栏目名有History了，换个词如development(发展)journey(历程)evolution(演化)以呼应后面的where(在...阶段)，不香吗？
7.【用词不当】take shape(开始)形成；体现(成形)，成形后的长足发展就不管了？体现可用reflect或embody表达。
8.【用词不当】where(used to talk about a particular stage in a process, conversation, story etc)用于指(事件过程中的)某个阶段，时间范围很窄，不适合指整个发展史，宜改为which。
9.【表意不清】China's higher education in foreign languages应该是指外语教育方面。大罐装小罐？逻辑混乱。(高校的)外语教育(core noun核心名词)范围较小，中国高校教育范围更大。英文宜说foreign language education in China's higher education，但两个education扎眼，改为...in China's universities。中文偏好说大的范畴，英文偏向说具体更细的方面。如一定要突出高校，那就改为foreign language institutes in China's high education system/sector.
【修改句3】Explore the journey of SISU, which reflects/embodies the evolution of foreign language education in China’s universities. ![]()
【病句4】The University is committed to introduce the rest of the world to China and present China globally. [网络考古: 2014.12.14上线至今十年了]
![]()
10/11【语法错误】高中英语commit惯用法commit sb或oneself to (doing) sth委托某人/自己承诺(会去做)某事，或形容词committed惯用句式be committed to (doing) sth致力于(做)某事，to是介词，后跟名词或动词-ing。句中introduce和present应改为introducing和presenting。如要保留不定式，可改用aims to do sth(致力于做某事)句式可解。此句还有几处问题，值得另文再讨论。【暂改句4】The University is committed to introducing the rest of the world to China and presenting China globally.【插花一】上外菜英文，团队协作何在？同页committed两处，翻译病句1的英语教授的中学英语基本过关够水平纠错病句4的英语教授，叫他请喝武夷岩茶！如果以后他反过来指出你两倍错误，那就让他报仇雪恨、回请他喝两次武夷岩茶！循环往复，上外菜英文就可以打败北外菜英文，重回“英汉语对译全球排名第一”宝座！【插花二】大学校长们脑瓜子何在？应该规定，找到一条官网错误奖励一百、罚款责任人菜英文两百！这样就可以滚雪球良性循环，很快小金库保险柜装不下。另外，中文语病也是滚滚财源啊！假以时日，大学就无须拨款了！欧耶！![]()
【病句5】A consistent graphic identity facilitates and reinforces our reputation as a leading university.12.【错误并列】并列双谓语动词联合施动同一个宾语？facilitate(使...容易/便利；促成)跟our reputation在逻辑意思上搭配不顺，应是跳词了，补充成facilitates the recognition就顺畅了！另外，图形标志能保护声誉protect our reputation就不错了，还能充实加强声誉？不解。没有菜英文，那才真叫维护声誉！【修改句5】A consistent graphic identity facilitates the recognition and reinforces our reputation as a leading university.【冗余词to】The leadership team is dedicated to fulfilling the educational mission and to advancing a vision for the future. 13.【重复冗余】删去多余的第二个介词to。【修改句6】略。【病句6】View a set of key facts and figures that gives an overview of our teaching and research activities. 14.【动词错型】删去gives的-s。【修改句7】略。【栏目名8】Be a SISUer [http://en.shisu.edu.cn/about/]15.【狭隘生硬】虽然Be a SISUer(做个上外人!)没语法错误，但是意思偏窄，逻辑上对潜在的家长讲不通的，语气上对潜在学生太生硬。改用邀约性的语气、更兼容顾及家长和支持者的社区概念，说成Join the SISU Community！各位亲，家人们！这么说不是更友好吗？感谢阅读！如觉有理，请您转发！再谢！
Easy Come, Never Go!™易记看，耐味够！™
【欢迎转载】请注转自林智华 智华英语。违究！
语文灾难！范曾四婚启事30语病！改！
台湾属中国！翻译须严谨！2.3万阅读
环球网社评，一句十错！
