最近看到一段一年前ABC的谈话节目的视频，是最近取得澳网女单冠军的澳大利亚运动员Ash Barty的Mindset教练Ben Crowe（我理解类似思维方式教练？）谈Ash的情况。我觉得有些表述挺有意思，翻译出来分享给大家。这里虽然谈的是作为一个顶级运动员需要的状态，我想对于很多父母家长以及常年处于竞争激烈环境中的我们，可能也会有所启发。让我们都能做最好的那个版本的自己，拥抱自己的不完美，祝大家新年快乐！![]()
There’s two expectations that are kind of killing performances all over the world. In fact, they’re probably killing the world. One is expectations of outcome which you can’t control and the other is expectations of others which you also can’t control. And focusing on something you can’t control but wanting to control it is the definition of anxiety or stress or pressure or worry.[实话说，访谈节目现场的表述有时候语法并不严谨。我翻译的时候也根据个人理解和中文语言习惯做了调整，与原文并不完全一一对应。点文末的原文链接可以看到推特的视频]有两类期待扼杀了几乎全世界所有人的表现。事实上，这两类期待也正在“杀死”这个世界。[先把严重后果点出来，吸引大家注意力]一种期待是对于你无法控制的结果的期待，另一种是你同样无法控制的他人的期待。[给出定义，同时强调“无法控制”这一共性]。专注于你无法控制却想要控制的事物---这就是焦虑、压力、担忧的定义。[简洁刻画矛盾，引入核心议题]The process is about accepting the things you can’t control and letting them go and getting them out of your psychology and focusing your attention back on the only thing you can control, which is how hard you train and your intention and also the words which represents the best version of you.在我们处于焦虑的时候进行调整的的过程的关键在于接受你无法控制的事物（如同你接受四季流转）并放下，把这些事物从情绪中请出去，把注意力转回你唯一能控制的事情上来--- 即你训练的努力程度、你的动机，以及那些能反映最好的版本的你的表述。And if she can accept the things she can’t control and have confidence in herself that’s the only expectation she can put on herself. The goal, her goals and her dreams and she’s spoken publicly about her goals and dreams and she’s put that in the universe and she’s going after them as hard as she can, and that’s just called living but there’s no guarantees, there’s no promises there’s no expectation that she’ll actually achieve those goals.她唯一可以给自己的期待就是--她可以接受她无法控制的事物并对自己有信心。这一切的目标是，她的各种目标、她的各种梦想以及她在公众面前对自己各种目标和梦想的表述并通过这样的方式把自己置身于天地间，她尽全部能力去追求这些，这一切其实就是“活着”。很清楚的是，对于她是否会真的实现这些目标是没有任何保证，没有任何承诺，没有任何期待的。If you can create that separation it lets go of all that kind of expectation and pressure that the rest of the world can focus on.如果你可以建立这样的一种区分，把这个世界所有其他人所关注的各种期待、各种压力放下。It’s really important for anyone to realise that playing –in her case, playing tennis is what she does but it’s not who she is; it doesn’t define the depth of her. And to find that self-worth independent of what you do. Because if you have to do something or achieve something in orderto be someone, you’ll never be content or fulfilled, and you certainly won’t have unconditional love because it’s conditional upon having to do something or achieve something. The entertainment economy, in the sports industry, it’s not real and we actually need to separate the person from the persona. Because everyone has got these opinions and these judgements on something is good or something is bad and so forth – and nothing is ever that good or that bad, it just is what it is.对任何人都很重要的一件事是运动—在她的情况下，打网球，是她做的那件事，但运动并不是她的全部，运动也不定义她作为一个人的深度。能够理解自我价值是与你做什么不相关的。因为如果你需要做什么、或者取得什么成就来成为某种人，你将永远不会知足或充实，你也肯定不会拥有无条件的爱---因为这种爱是以你需要做什么或者取得什么成就为条件的。运动业是娱乐业的一部分，是不真实的。我们其实需要把人与人设区分开来。因为每个人对于对错等等都有各自的观点和自以为是的判断---而事实上，没有任何事是想象中那么极端的对或错，每件事就只是那件事。For Ash she’s been able to focus more on human being, less so the human doing. From that place she can embrace her world, and celebrateher imperfections – but also find that sense of unconditional self-worth. And from that place, she can set these goals and dreams, put them out in the universe, but not determining her self-worth on whether she achieves those goals and dreams. That’s what gives her the passion and the excitement to go after that without any expectations. And then for her, life becomes this beautiful adventure, this work in progress, this experiment into the unknown.That’s the exciting thing as she said last night in her post-match, is she’s so grateful that she’s got these opportunities to put these goals and dreams out in the universe and she gets to compete and have fun and play. She loves Wimbledon so much and the connection with grass which is almost a spiritual connection – and it’s really exciting to see. But she doesn’t get caught up in the narrative of others because she can’t control what anyone expects of thinks of her, but she can control the expectations she puts on herself and what she thinks of herself. And she kind of focuses on that and has the courage to say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, but I care about them”. When someone can say that, they’ve got all the power in the world. But until they can say that, they lose their power, because we’re constantly craving the recognition of others, caring what others thinking about us. We kind of lose our authenticity along the way. It’s scary when you see someone comfortable in their own skin. It kind of makes me smile that everyone has opinions and judgements on Ash being who she is – and that sense of humility and humanity just seems to scare people. Unfortunately there principles are counter-intuitivein terms of how the rest of us are thinking today.对于Ash而言，她的成功的一个重要原因在于可以专注于作为一个人(humanbeing)，而少在意自己具体做什么事（human doing）。她可以全身心拥抱她的世界，庆幸她的不完美--- 并同时找到无条件自我肯定的感觉。从这样的状态出发，她可以为自己设定目标和梦想，把这些设定置于天地间，但并不把自我肯定建立在她是否实现了这些目标和梦想上。正是这样的心态使得她充满热情与兴奋地去追求梦想而不怀期待。如此，对于她而言，生活成为一场美丽的探险，这样的始终处于正在进展中的状态，这样的一种向未知探索的场景。如同她昨天赛后感言中所说，这是一件令人兴奋的事，而她也对于能有这些把自己的目标和梦想置于天地间、可以去竞技、可以去享受运动的机会而感恩。她喜欢温布尔登到如此地步以至于她与草地间几乎有一种精神上的连接--- 而可以看到这样一种状态的运动员是令人兴奋的。但，她并没有被他人的叙事所绑架因为她无法控制任何其他人对她的期待，但她可以控制她对自己的期待以及她对自己的看法。她也正是如此处理自己的关注点并有勇气说出“我不在乎任何人如何看我，但我在乎他们”。当一个人可以这样说出来，他们就拥有了这世界所有的力量。但，除非他们可以这样说出来，他们就不会有力量，因为他们总是在渴望别人的认可，关注别人是如何看我们的。如此，我们也就失去了那个“正版”自己。如果你看到一个人对于自己的所有方面感觉很舒适的时候，你会觉得害怕。当我看到所有人对于Ash做自己有各种观点和判断时，我不禁微笑--- 她所表现的谦卑与人性似乎让大家害怕。不幸的是，这些原则对于我们其他人而言在今天的思潮中是反直觉的。
