跨年夜单身压力难以承受

跨年夜单身压力难以承受

Personal Perspective: Go ahead, be boring.

个人观点：继续吧，无聊就好。

Posted December 29, 2024 |  Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

发布于2024 年 12 月 29 日 |  Gary Drevitch 审阅

Couples often like to say that their New Year's Eve plans are really boring: a quiet dinner for two, or a movie night with the kids. When you're single, boring doesn't feel like an option. Especially if you're looking for love, watching Netflix in your pajamas feels like a serious negation of the most critical single-person obligation: Getting out there.

情侣们经常说他们的新年夜计划真的很无聊：两人安静地吃晚餐，或者和孩子们一起看电影。当你单身时，无聊似乎不是一个选择。特别是如果你在寻找爱情，穿着睡衣看 Netflix 感觉就像是对最重要的单身义务的严重否定：外出。

I wrote about the pressure single people feel to be fabulous in my book, It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. Even for people who are mostly happy with their lives, New Year’s Eve can bring a very particular kind of panic.

我在《不是你：你单身的 27 个错误理由》一书中写到了单身人士所感受到的压力。即使对于那些对生活基本满意的人来说，除夕夜也会带来一种非常特殊的恐慌。

Because where, exactly, is this "there" to which one must get “out”? Past experiences include:

因为，这个必须“离开”的“那里”究竟在哪里呢？过去的经验包括：

That party your friend's friend's cousin knew about. The one that took an hour-and-a-half to get to, where the music was so loud you couldn't hear a word anyone said, where you screwed up your courage and introduced yourself to that cute guy making mojitos in the kitchen who immediately informed you, "I'm with Kaley."

你朋友的朋友的表弟知道的那个派对。你花了一个半小时才到达，音乐声非常响，你听不到任何人说的话，你鼓起勇气向那个在厨房里调莫吉托鸡尾酒的帅哥自我介绍，他立刻告诉你，“我和凯莉在一起。”

The "fixed price" dinner. This initially seemed like a great idea. Why not splurge on some great food and champagne with a big group of people you went to college with or met in pilates? But then Jeremy and Alyson each got the $40 lobster add-on, and Jenna and Tom decided to do the champagne-tasting menu. When the bill came, Trina (who had the lobster and the tasting) said, "Let's just split it."

“固定价格”晚餐。这最初似乎是个好主意。为什么不和一大群你大学同学或在普拉提课上认识的人一起享用一些美食和香槟呢？但后来杰里米和艾莉森每人都点了 40 美元的龙虾附加餐，詹娜和汤姆决定点香槟品尝菜单。结账时，特丽娜（点了龙虾和品尝餐）说：“我们分着吃吧。”

Your parents' house. OK, this time you knew you definitely were not "there." But you flew across the country to see your family for the holidays and you didn't have to be at work until Jan. 3. Staying for New Year's made good sense. Until you found yourself on Dec. 31 playing Trivial Pursuit with Mom and Dad and their friends and asking yourself, How is it possible that this is my life?

你父母的房子。好吧，这次你知道你肯定不“在那里”。但你飞越全国去看望家人过节，直到 1 月 3 日你才需要上班。留在家里过新年是明智的。直到 12 月 31 日你发现自己和爸爸妈妈以及他们的朋友一起玩 Trivial Pursuit，并问自己，这怎么可能是我的生活？

New Year's Eve can really screw with your head. Because whatever you end up doing on New Year's, there is often this sinking feeling that really you should be doing something else. That your true life—the one that involves sipping great champagne, wearing an excellent dress, and cracking wise with a bevy of smart, sexy singles—is out there. You, unfortunately, are not.

除夕夜真的会让你心烦意乱。因为无论你在新年做什么，你总是会有一种沮丧的感觉，觉得你真的应该做点别的事情。你的真正生活——包括啜饮上好的香槟、穿着漂亮的裙子、和一群聪明、性感的单身人士开怀大笑——就在外面。不幸的是，你不在外面。

But here's the funny thing about New Year's: Whatever you do, you remember it. I have snapshots in my brain of nearly every Dec. 31. I remember huddling with my best friend as we tried to hail a cab on an icy Manhattan street. I remember playing Celebrities with people I'd never seen before or would again. I remember drinking tea in my tiny studio apartment reading Lorrie Moore's Like Life while the snow fell outside. I remember being at a lovely cocktail party and looking out the window to a woman in an adjacent apartment; she was sitting at her desk, absorbed in her writing, occasionally pausing to sip from a glass of champagne.

但新年有一件有趣的事情：无论你做什么，你都会记住它。我脑子里几乎有每年 12 月 31 日的快照。我记得我和我最好的朋友挤在一起，试图在结冰的曼哈顿街道上叫出租车。我记得和我从未见过或再也不会见到的人玩名人游戏。我记得在外面下雪的时候，我在我狭小的单间公寓里喝茶，读着洛里·摩尔的《生活一样》。我记得在一次可爱的鸡尾酒会上，我透过窗户望向隔壁公寓里的一位女士；她坐在书桌前，专心致志地写作，偶尔停下来喝一杯香槟。

When I look back on these experiences, I realize it doesn't matter so much whether or not I had a good or a bad time that night. Somehow, all of these memories make me happy, simply because they're my life. They make me see that, so far anyway, my life has been full and rich and weird and wonderful. The only thing that kept me from enjoying my New Year's Eve was the stupid idea that I should be doing something else.

当我回顾这些经历时，我意识到那天晚上我过得好不好并不重要。不知何故，所有这些回忆都让我感到快乐，因为它们就是我的生活。它们让我看到，到目前为止，我的生活一直很充实、丰富、奇妙和美好。唯一让我无法享受除夕夜的，是愚蠢的想法，认为我应该做点别的事情。