作业批评老师得好评语

文摘   2024-06-28 18:59   西班牙  

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作业批评老师得好评语

沈宁


儿子读小学六年级时,学校每星期四向家长发放一个家庭通讯,其中包括每星期的学生成绩单,学生一周家庭作业和测验,以及一些相关的学校活动日程安排和通知。我对儿子的学业很放心,不多过问﹐也不大关心学校发回家的这些东西。倒是我的太太,似乎总是操心,每周都很仔细地查看儿子带回家的这个家庭通讯。

突然一天,太太拿了一份儿子的英文课家庭作业给我看,说:幸亏他是在美国学校里读书,否则早就给学校开除了。你管管吧,学校作文不可以这么写。我不知怎么回事,接过那两张纸,迅速读了一遍。

那是儿子写的一篇作文,练习写作说服人的文章。

I, personally, think that homework should be eliminated. First of all, homework kills trees. Secondly, Our backpacks get really, really heavy. Finally, homework takes time away from us.

Now, Ill go into more detail about each.

Bunches of trees are killed for paper and pencils. Why is that? Its because of homework. Trees are what paper and pencils are made from. The trees we cut down increases the chance of global warming. Trees take in carbon dioxide and give out oxygen, which we require. They also form shelters for animals. Many of the endangered species on the Earth are endangered due to loss of habitat.

You still arent altering your mind, heres more.

Every night I go to bed with a sore back. Surprised? You shouldnt be. A persons weight is only supposed to be only ten times the weight of the backpack, which in most cases it isnt. We can get mighty tired from lugging that heavy backpack around. My parents are very worried about this. They say that if I keep having to carry this much weight on my back, Ill stop growing and/or shrink down a little.

Still no! Fine, heres one more thing to change your mind.

Finally, homework takes a lot of time. Just this one assignment alone is taking about, I dont know, thirty minutes. In this amount of time, I could be playing outside getting fresh air, but I cant because I have to write this essay. Also, kids are supposed to get ten hours of sleep each day. We cant. We have to do our homework, eat dinner, and do any other activity we have, finish our homework, go to bed at 9:30 or later at night, and wake up at like, 6:00 or earlier, unless you live fairly close to school so you could wake up at like 7:30, which not many people can since school starts at 8:45.Since we cant get enough sleep, were all sleepy in the morning. This is probably why you have to say ǒwake up! wake up!each morning.

This is a lot of info so here is a brief summary.

Many kids arent happy with homework. It kills trees and makes our backpacks heavy. Also, it takes way too much time. As a result of eliminating homework, kids will probably be happier and healthier. 

全文中译如下:

我个人认为,家庭作业应该取消。首先,家庭作业砍杀许多树木。第二,我们的书包太重,确实太重了。最后,家庭作业占去我们太多时间。

下面我逐条作出详细解释。

为了制造纸张和铅笔,许多树木就被砍掉了。为什么呢?就为了家庭作业。树木是制造纸张和铅笔的材料。我们砍掉树木,便增长了地球转暖的速度。树木吸收二氧化碳,释放人类需要的氧气。树木同时也养育许多动物。地球上许多濒临灭绝的生物,都是由于缺少生存环境,才面临危机的。

如果你还没有因此而改变自己的看法,这里是另外的理由。

每天晚上我上床的时候,都会感到背痛。奇怪么?你不该觉得奇怪。人体重量应该只是自己书包的十倍,但实际情况经常并非如此。我们可能会因为背着沉重的书包走来走去,而感觉疲惫。我的父母为此经常感到忧虑。他们说,如果我继续背负如此沉重的书包,我就长不高了,甚至还会缩短。

你还没有被说服吗?好吧,我再说一点,来改变你的看法。

最后,家庭作业占用太多时间。仅仅就是写这一篇作文,我想,就已经占去了大概三十分钟时间吧。这段时间,我本来可以到外面去玩,呼吸新鲜空气,可是我不能,因为我得写这篇作业。而且作为儿童,我们每天应该至少有十个小时的睡眠。然而我们做不到,我们得做完我们的家庭作业,吃晚饭,完成其他我们必须完成的活动,到了九点半甚至更晚才能上床。我们早上大约六点或者更早就得起床,除非你住得离学校特别近,你才可以七点半起床。可是大多数学生都做不到,因为学校八点45分就上课了。因为我们得不到足够时间睡眠,整个上午我们都在打瞌睡。所以你老师才会每天上午在课堂上对我们叫:醒一醒,醒一醒。

这篇文章里提出了许多信息,现在让我来总结一下:

很多学生都对家庭作业很不满意。家庭作业用掉许多树木,造成书包沉重。而且占去太多时间。作为取消家庭作业的一个结果,孩子们可能会更加快乐,更加健康。

儿子如此一篇批判性作文,老师评分一百,批注:论点鲜明﹐论据充足﹐结论部分以强化方式,照应篇头提出的论题﹐结构用心。我读过之后,大笑一顿,很是欣赏。但我同意太太所言,儿子是幸亏在美国学校里读书,如果在我们小时候读书的学校,谁写这么一篇作文,即使不被学校开除,恐怕也从此失去老师宠爱,永远不及格,升不进重点中学。


作者/ 沈宁


沈宁,美籍华裔作家,蒋介石文胆陶希圣外孙,七君子首领沈钧儒堂侄,著名翻译家沈苏儒之子。南京出生,上海长大,北京读书,陕北插队。西北大学77级毕业,毕业后任职陕西省电视台电视剧部。1983年赴美留学,获衣阿华大学硕士、教育学院博士班深造。历任大学助教、中学老师、小学校长等。业余写作,著述甚丰,出版书籍17部。

后秀州公子沈宁
沈宁:蒋介石文胆陶希圣外孙,七君子之首沈钧儒堂侄。西北大学中文系七七级毕业,八三年赴美自费留学,美国艾奥华大学硕士,历任美国学校教师,美国之音新闻主播,美国联邦空军军官学校教官。