用英语写日记（附AI批改prompt）

写日记是把英文写作用起来的一个途径，可以记录生活，抒发情感，整理思绪——改成用English，还能锻炼英文写作能力。但是，日记的缺点是缺乏跟别人交流，毕竟是偏私密的属性。这就容易闭门造车，特别是两端都闭塞的情况——

输入端：总是用自己掌握的词汇语法写，导致简单重复，文字枯燥，不利于写作技能提升。

输出端：缺乏交流就得不到反馈，最要命的是英文写错了也不知道，特别是一些不地道甚至错误的表达，越写越固化。

因此，过去我更推荐用英语发帖（社交媒体，如朋友圈、微博等），以及英文打字聊天。记得很多年前我有次发帖写pant没有加s被网友指出，以后都很注意“裤子”“眼镜”这些“成双”的词汇要用复数——交流实战有利于水平提升啊！

随着技术的进步，用英语写日记的缺点已经被Dialysis和AI克服。

输入端：用每日生词记录每日生活

透析法要求用主动输出的形式复习每日查的20+生词（包括单词、短语、短句，以及查汉英词典得到的中文词）。用这20多个生词来写日记，你会发现比写考试作文更妙，因为这些生词就是你上一天用英语生活（听说读写玩）过程中查出来的，用它们记录上一天的生活，有几大优势：

它们源于生活，可直接描述昨天的生活经历，不怕没词可用；

它们是昨天经历的锚定点，帮助你回忆细节，不怕没东西写；

写作以及日后重温的时候，可以借助情感高效地记忆词汇。

可以说透析法的生词闭环给日记源源不断注入想法与词汇的“活水”，让日记质量逐渐提升；反过来，日记也是检验、复习、巩固每日所学英语知识（以词汇承载）的绝佳训练。

输出端：用AI大模型批改日记

日记是个人隐私，不方便给别人看，包括英语老师——你就是愿意给老师看，老师还懒得看或者看不过来呢。现在可以给AI看，24/7全天候诲人不倦还免费，水平高出人类老师10倍以上。

首先是给专业的语法AI看，例如Quillbot，逐句把拼写和语法错误统统揪出来，在微观层面确保正确。有人说让AI语言大模型（LLM）看不就行了？伍教练建议“专业的事情交给专业的AI做”，例如语法改错和翻译。LLM看得不够细，不够全，也不够准，起码目前国内外几个主流的AI都无法让我放心。当然，全球最顶尖的AI可能可以，但在国内的我还用不起或者连不上。

Quillbot等还可以做逐句改写，对于一两个句子好使（例如英文聊天），但对于整篇文章嘛，除非是要做论文降重，否则有点太繁琐，况且往往有免费字数限制，这种“激励因素”的提升建议交给LLM改写满分作文实现。

清查干净语法，就可以把日记发给LLM看了。这时你还需要专业的日记“评分标准”。伍教练收集了全球几十种主流英语考试的题目及评分标准，扔给AI批改后发现效果炸裂，就寻思日记也有类似的详细标准就好了，最好还是剑桥的风格，搞多维度评价。一搜网上还真有不少Journal Writing Rubric之类，马上拿来做成AI prompt。

LLM可以根据评分标准反馈你的日记质量。当然，写日记是情绪化的自由表达，不应该受到“标准”条条框框的约束，但你要想提升写作水平，也不妨参考一下。那些评分标准跟考试作文的标准如出一辙，要求考生在内容、文字、组织等方面都要规规矩矩的，说得不好听就是写成“八股文”，而我附加要求AI最后根据日记原文和这些标准改写成“满分日记”，出来的作品就是正儿八经的“应试体”了。也许你的日记不用写得那么死板，但是对比学习AI的具体文字表达、语句连接，还是很有收获的。

Journal prompt for AI LLM

Students are expected to keep a journal of their activities and thoughts. You should reflect YOUR thoughts on things like your readings and field-trips reflecting your observations and thoughts on the experience. The journal may be either in notebook form, blog, wiki or website. (25分)

请根据以上日记要求评分并分析，最后根据以下评分标准修改成满分日记，要求完全严格按照学生的日记原文修改，绝对不能偏离或者另起炉灶。

评分标准

Content维度

5 (Excellent) Selected items that are important and help make content interesting; the details focus on the most important information. Choices help the reader see things in a new way.

4 (Good) Selected items that are important in discussing the activities for the week; the details help the reader see things about the items in interesting ways.

2-3 (Fair) Select items and details that discuss the activities for the week, but they not be very important.

0-1 (Poor) Select items and details that are not important or relevant.

Comprehensibility维度 

5 (Excellent) Can understand all of what is being communicated. 

4 (Good) Can understand most of what is being communicated. 

2-3 (Fair) Can understand less than half of what is being communicated. 

0-1 (Poor) Can understand little of what is being communicated.

Organization维度 

5 (Excellent) Journal entry is logical and effective. 

4 (Good) Journal entry is generally logical and effective with a few minor problems.  

2-3 (Fair) Journal entry is somewhat illogical and confusing in places. 

0-1 (Poor) Journal entry lacks logical order and organization.

Effort维度 

5 (Excellent) Exceeds the requirements of the assignment and have put care and effort into the process. 

4 (Good) Fulfills all of the requirements of the assignment. 

2-3 (Fair) Fulfills some of the requirements of the assignment. 

0-1 (Poor) Fulfills few of the requirements of the assignment.

Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure维度 

5 (Excellent) Journal is highly polished; no grammar or spelling errors. 

4 (Good) Journal is polished; maximum of one grammar or spelling error. 

2-3 (Fair) Journal is adequate; maximum of two grammar or spelling errors. 

0-1 (Poor) Inadequate discussion; more than two spelling or grammar errors.

学生日记如下：

小朋友写日记：Dear diarry

小学低年级的孩子就可以开始英文写作。我让Tritium写了一段时间KET作文，用AI批改，后来改成写日记，最近他的作文还入选了校刊。我会把这些稚嫩的文字永久保存云端和本地备份，成为孩子人生最珍贵的早期印迹。有时我还用AI把文字拍成照片甚至影片，调动孩子写作的兴趣。

24th Sept,2024

Cloudy

Dear diary,

Today I went to school.

There is heavy rain when I go home.

My classmate creates a castle in the lunch.

But why does she not create a car?

Your Tritium

AI的批改——

Bing Copilot (GPT-4)：11分

Let’s analyze and score the provided journal entry based on the given criteria:

Analysis and Scoring

Content:

·Score: 2 (Fair) 

oThe journal mentions activities (going to school, heavy rain, classmate creating a castle), but these details are not very important or interesting. The entry lacks depth and reflection on the experiences.

Comprehensibility:

·Score: 4 (Good) 

oMost of the content is understandable, but there are some grammatical errors that slightly hinder comprehension (e.g., “creates a castle in the lunch”).

Organization:

·Score: 3 (Fair) 

oThe journal entry is somewhat logical but lacks a clear structure. The transition between ideas is abrupt, making it a bit confusing.

Effort:

·Score: 2 (Fair) 

oThe entry fulfills some of the requirements but lacks depth and effort in reflecting on the experiences.

Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure:

·Score: 3 (Fair) 

oThere are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., “creates a castle in the lunch”).

Modified Journal Entry for Full Marks

24th Sept, 2024 Cloudy

Dear Diary,

Today was an interesting day at school. During lunch, my classmate surprised everyone by creating a detailed castle out of her food. It was impressive and sparked a lot of conversations. I wondered why she chose to make a castle instead of something like a car, which might have been easier. This made me think about creativity and how different people express it in unique ways.

On my way home, it started to rain heavily. Despite getting soaked, I enjoyed the walk because it gave me time to reflect on the day. The rain also made me appreciate the comfort of home even more.

Your Tritium

Explanation of Changes

·Content: Added more details and reflections to make the entry more interesting and insightful.

·Comprehensibility: Improved grammar and sentence structure for better understanding.

·Organization: Structured the entry logically with clear transitions between ideas.

·Effort: Added depth and personal reflections to show more effort.

·Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure: Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.

This revised entry should meet the criteria for full marks in all dimensions.

讯飞星火：最高11分

### 评分分析

**Content维度: 2-3 (Fair)**

- **评价原因:** 学生选择了一些活动来讨论，但它们的重要性和相关性不够。例如，提到同学在午餐时建造城堡，但没有进一步解释为什么这个细节重要或有趣。

**Comprehensibility维度: 2-3 (Fair)**

- **评价原因:** 日记的可理解性较低。一些句子结构不完整，如“There is heavy rain when I go home.” 应为 “It was raining heavily when I went home.”

**Organization维度: 0-1 (Poor)**

- **评价原因:** 日记缺乏逻辑顺序和组织性。各部分之间没有明显的连接，也没有明确的开头、中间和结尾。

**Effort维度: 2-3 (Fair)**

- **评价原因:** 学生完成了一些任务要求，但没有超出预期。日记内容较为简短，缺乏深度和细节。

**Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure维度: 0-1 (Poor)**

- **评价原因:** 日记中存在多处语法和拼写错误，如“Your Tritium”应该是“Yours Truly”。

### 满分日记修改版

24th Sept, 2024

Cloudy

Dear Diary,

Today was an eventful day at school. The morning started with our usual classes, but the highlight of the day was during lunchtime. One of my classmates, Emily, decided to build a castle out of her sandwich and fruit. It was quite impressive how she used the grapes as turrets and the apple slices as walls. Her creativity really stood out and made me think about why she chose a castle instead of something else, like a car or a boat. Perhaps it's because castles symbolize strength and imagination, qualities that are important in our daily lives.

On my way back home, it started to pour heavily. I took shelter under a tree until the rain subsided. This unexpected downpour gave me some time to reflect on the day's events and appreciate the little moments that make each day unique.

Overall, today was a mix of routine and surprises. Emily's castle and the sudden rain shower reminded me to look for creativity and find beauty in the unexpected.

Yours Truly,

[Student's Name]

### 修改说明

1. **内容维度:** 增加了关于Emily建造城堡的细节描述，以及对学生自己回家途中遇到大雨的感受，使内容更加丰富和有趣。

2. **可理解性维度:** 纠正了语法和拼写错误，使句子更加完整和易于理解。

3. **组织维度:** 引入了开头（介绍当天的天气和心情）、中间（学校活动和回家经历）和结尾（总结反思），使日记结构更加清晰。

4. **努力维度:** 通过增加细节和反思，超出了基本的任务要求，显示出更多的努力和投入。

5. **语法、机械、拼写和句子结构维度:** 修正了所有的语法和拼写错误，确保日记语言流畅且无误。

智谱清言：9分

评分及分析：

Content维度: 2

日记内容涉及到了学校生活，但选材不够重要，也没有详细描述为何这些活动对学生来说是有意义的。构建城堡的细节本可以更有趣，但未展开，而且询问为什么没有构建汽车显得突兀，缺乏上下文。

Comprehensibility维度: 3

读者可以理解大部分日记内容，但是"Your Tritium"这一结尾让人困惑，可能是一个笔误或者不相关的信息。

Organization维度: 2

日记条目缺乏逻辑性和组织性。天气的描述突然转换到学校活动，再到午餐时的一个不相关的疑问。

Effort维度: 2

日记条目似乎没有达到日记的预期要求，缺乏深度和努力。

Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure维度: 3

日记条目有一些语法和拼写错误。例如，"There is heavy rain when I go home." 应该改为 "There was heavy rain when I went home." 句子结构也较为简单。

修改后的满分日记：

24th September, 2024

Cloudy

Dear Journal,

Today at school, I had a particularly engaging experience that I feel is worth reflecting upon. As the grey clouds gathered, hinting at an impending storm, our class ventured out for a study session in the library. The atmosphere was one of focused calm before the deluge.

Returning home was a different story. The skies had opened up, unleashing a torrential downpour that soaked everything in its path. It was a dramatic end to an otherwise ordinary day, reminding me of nature's power to transform our surroundings in an instant.

During lunch, I observed a classmate meticulously crafting a castle out of her meal. It was an impressive display of creativity that sparked a conversation among us about the importance of imagination in our daily lives. While I admired her castle, a part of me wondered about the practical applications of such skills. Why not apply that ingenuity to construct something functional, like a car, which could symbolize the drive and innovation we are encouraged to cultivate in school?

Reflecting on this, I realize that both the castle and the hypothetical car represent different facets of what we learn—art for art's sake, and the art of innovation. It's a balance I am striving to find in my own academic pursuits.

With thoughts of castles and cars swirling in my mind, I am signing off for today.

Yours truly,

[Student's Name]

通义千问：8分

**评分分析**

**Content**

1分

学生选择了记录一天的活动，但所选内容并不重要，也没有帮助使内容变得有趣。细节没有聚焦在最重要的信息上，也没有帮助读者以新的方式看待事物。

**Comprehensibility**

3分

大部分内容可以理解，但有些地方表达不清晰，如"My classmate creates a castle in the lunch." 应该是 "My classmate created a castle during lunch."，以及"But why does she not create a car?" 表达有些突兀，没有上下文。

**Organization**

2分

日记条目缺乏逻辑性和有效性，如日期和天气的记录之后直接跳到学校活动，没有过渡。

**Effort**

2分

学生完成了日记的基本要求，但没有体现出超出要求的努力或对过程的关心。

**Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure**

2分

日记中有一些语法和拼写错误，如 "There is heavy rain" 应为 "There was heavy rain"，"Your Tritium" 应为 "Yours, Tritium"。

**总分**

8分

**改写满分日记**

24th Sept, 2024

Cloudy

Dear Diary,

Today was a day filled with learning and a touch of mystery at school. The clouds hung low in the sky, but that didn't dampen our spirits.

In class, we discussed the history of architecture, which sparked my curiosity about the structures people create. During lunch, I noticed my classmate was building a castle with her food. It was a whimsical sight—a turret of bread and a moat of soup. I wondered why she chose a castle over a car, perhaps it was the medieval challenge that appealed to her creative side.

The rain began as I left school, a downpour that turned the streets into rivers. It was a stark contrast to the dry, indoor discussions of the day.

I pondered the day's events on my journey home. The architecture lesson and my classmate's creative lunchtime project made me think about the importance of imagination and the joy of learning.

Yours,

Tritium

**改写分析**

**Content**

5分

改写后的日记选择了重要的事项来讨论，如学校讨论的建筑历史和同学的创意午餐项目。细节帮助读者以有趣的方式看待这些事项。

**Comprehensibility**

5分

改写后的日记表达清晰，易于理解。

**Organization**

5分

日记条目逻辑清晰，有效组织。

**Effort**

5分

改写后的日记体现了超出基本要求的努力和对过程的关心。

**Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure**

5分

改写后的日记语言流畅，没有语法或拼写错误。

Kimi：8分

**评分分析**

**Content**

1分

学生选择了记录一天的活动，但所选内容并不重要，也没有帮助使内容变得有趣。细节没有聚焦在最重要的信息上，也没有帮助读者以新的方式看待事物。

**Comprehensibility**

3分

大部分内容可以理解，但有些地方表达不清晰，如"My classmate creates a castle in the lunch." 应该是 "My classmate created a castle during lunch."，以及"But why does she not create a car?" 表达有些突兀，没有上下文。

**Organization**

2分

日记条目缺乏逻辑性和有效性，如日期和天气的记录之后直接跳到学校活动，没有过渡。

**Effort**

2分

学生完成了日记的基本要求，但没有体现出超出要求的努力或对过程的关心。

**Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure**

2分

日记中有一些语法和拼写错误，如 "There is heavy rain" 应为 "There was heavy rain"，"Your Tritium" 应为 "Yours, Tritium"。

**总分**

8分

**改写满分日记**

24th Sept, 2024

Cloudy

Dear Diary,

Today was a day filled with learning and a touch of mystery at school. The clouds hung low in the sky, but that didn't dampen our spirits.

In class, we discussed the history of architecture, which sparked my curiosity about the structures people create. During lunch, I noticed my classmate was building a castle with her food. It was a whimsical sight—a turret of bread and a moat of soup. I wondered why she chose a castle over a car, perhaps it was the medieval challenge that appealed to her creative side.

The rain began as I left school, a downpour that turned the streets into rivers. It was a stark contrast to the dry, indoor discussions of the day.

I pondered the day's events on my journey home. The architecture lesson and my classmate's creative lunchtime project made me think about the importance of imagination and the joy of learning.

Yours,

Tritium

**改写分析**

**Content**

5分

改写后的日记选择了重要的事项来讨论，如学校讨论的建筑历史和同学的创意午餐项目。细节帮助读者以有趣的方式看待这些事项。

**Comprehensibility**

5分

改写后的日记表达清晰，易于理解。

**Organization**

5分

日记条目逻辑清晰，有效组织。

**Effort**

5分

改写后的日记体现了超出基本要求的努力和对过程的关心。

**Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure**

5分

改写后的日记语言流畅，没有语法或拼写错误。

豆包：3分

评分：

- **Content 维度**：1 分。日记内容简单描述了去学校、回家遇大雨以及同学在午餐时创造城堡并提出一个疑问，但所选择的内容不重要也不相关，没有体现对活动的深入思考或与要求中的阅读、实地考察等相关内容。

- **Comprehensibility 维度**：1 分。内容简短，能理解的信息很少。

- **Organization 维度**：0 分。缺乏逻辑顺序和组织，非常混乱。

- **Effort 维度**：0 分。没有满足作业要求，几乎没有付出努力。

- **Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling, and Sentence Structure 维度**：1 分。日记中有语法错误，如“There is heavy rain when I go home.”应改为“There was heavy rain when I went home.”拼写和语法错误超过两个。

修改后的满分日记：

27th Sept, 2024

Friday

Sunny

Dear diary,

This week has been quite eventful. In my literature class, we read a fascinating novel that made me think deeply about the human condition and the power of resilience. The vivid descriptions and complex characters really brought the story to life. I found myself reflecting on how the themes of the book relate to our modern society and the challenges we face.

On Wednesday, we had a field trip to a local museum. The exhibits were incredibly informative and inspiring. I was particularly struck by the historical artifacts that showcased the evolution of our culture over time. It was a great opportunity to see and learn about things that I had only read about in books.

As I look back on these experiences, I realize how important it is to engage with different forms of knowledge and creativity. Whether it's through reading or visiting museums, we can expand our horizons and gain new perspectives. I'm looking forward to more such enriching activities in the future.

Your Tritium