高考英语小作文AI批改prompt

（2024年6月高考英语全国I卷真题）

假定你是李华，上周五你们班在公园上了一堂美术课。请你给英国朋友Chris写一封邮件分享这次经历，内容包括:

(1)你完成的作品:

(2)你的感想。

注意

(1)写作词数应为 80个左右:

(2)请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答

Dear Chris,

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday.

Yours,

Li Hua

请根据以上作文题目评分并分析，最后根据以下评分标准修改成满分作文，要求完全严格按照考生的原文修改，绝对不能偏离或者另起炉灶。

高考英语科小作文评分标准：

14-15分:完全完成了试题规定的任务，覆盖所有内容要点，应用了较多的语法结构和词汇，语法结构或词汇方面有个别错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致;具备较强的语言应用能力，有效地使用语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑，完全达到了预期的写作目的。

11-13分:完全完成了试题规定的任务。虽漏掉1、2个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，少量错误主要是因尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致。应用了简单的词句链接成分，使全文结构紧凑。达到了预期的写作目的。

8-10分:基本完成了试题规定的任务。虽漏掉了一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容。应用的语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。应用了简单的语句间连接成分，使全文的内容连贯。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。

5-7分:未恰当完成试题规定的任务。漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容，写了一些无关内容。语法结构单调、词汇项目有限。有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解。较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性。信息未能清楚地传递给读者。

1-4分:未完成试题规定的任务。明显遗主要内容，写了一些无关内容，原因可能未理解试题要求。语法结构单调，词汇项目有限。有较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解。

考生作文如下：

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. I drew a beautiful landscape of the park. There were green trees, colorful flowers and a peaceful lake.

This art class was really amazing. I felt so close to nature and it inspired my creativity a lot. I could observe the details of the scenery carefully and express them through my drawing. It made me understand that art comes from life.

以上是伍教练辅导的学生的习作，请替换成你的大作，然后整体黏贴到豆包、智谱清言、通义千问、讯飞星火、Kimi、Bing Copilot等AI大模型批改及获取满分改写作文。伍教练额外建议用Quillbot彻底清算语法错误。以下是智谱清言的批改结果：

豆包：13分

**评分**：13 分。

**分析**：

- 内容要点：涵盖了完成的作品（画了公园的美丽风景，描述了有绿树、多彩的花和宁静的湖）和感想（觉得亲近自然、激发创造力、理解艺术源于生活），主要内容完整。

- 语言表达：应用了较多的词汇和较为丰富的句式，如“landscape”“inspire”“observe”等词汇，以及“This art class was really amazing.”这样的表达。有少量语法错误，但不影响理解，如“it inspired my creativity a lot”中“a lot”位置稍显奇怪，可改为“a great deal”。使用了一些连接成分如“and”，使文章较为连贯。整体达到了预期的写作目的。

**满分作文修改**：

Dear Chris,

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. I drew a beautiful landscape of the park. There were green trees, colorful flowers and a peaceful lake.

This art class was truly amazing. I felt extremely close to nature and it inspired my creativity a great deal. I could observe the details of the scenery carefully and express them through my drawing. It made me deeply understand that art comes from life.

Yours,

Li Hua

通义：11-13分

根据高考英语科小作文评分标准，以下是对于考生作文的评分及分析，并按照其原文进行修改以达到满分作文的标准：

评分：11-13分

分析：这篇作文基本完成了试题规定的主要任务，但是可以更加具体地描述作品以及个人感受。语法结构和词汇使用基本正确，但可以增加更多复杂结构来提升语言水平。此外，可以添加更多的连贯成分，使文章更紧凑。

修改后的作文如下：

Dear Chris,

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. During this outdoor session, I completed a picturesque landscape painting featuring the vibrant greens of the trees, the vivid hues of the flowers, and the serene reflection of the lake's surface.

The experience was truly enlightening. Being immersed in nature, I found myself deeply inspired by the intricate details surrounding me. From the texture of the bark to the ripples on the water, each element became a subject for my artistic expression. This class has taught me that true art is derived from the richness of everyday life.

Yours,

Li Hua

这个版本保留了考生的原意，同时增加了细节描述，使用了更加复杂的句子结构，并且通过添加过渡性词语和短语增强了文章的连贯性。这样修改后的作文更符合满分作文的标准。

智谱清言：14分

评分及分析：

根据高考英语科小作文评分标准，考生作文评分为14分。以下是对考生作文的分析：

1. 内容完整，覆盖了题目要求的所有要点，包括完成的作品和感想。

2. 语法结构和词汇使用较为丰富，如“a peaceful lake”和“inspired my creativity”等表达。

3. 语句间的连接成分使用得当，使得全文结构紧凑，如“and it inspired my creativity a lot”。

4. 存在少量错误，如“made me understand that art comes from life”中的“made”应改为“has made”，以体现对过去事件的感悟延续至今。

修改后的满分作文：

Dear Chris,

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. I drew a beautiful landscape of the park, complete with green trees, vibrant flowers, and a tranquil lake.

This art class was truly remarkable. I felt an intimate connection with nature, which greatly inspired my creativity. I was able to observe the intricate details of the scenery and translate them into my drawing. It has made me realize that art indeed originates from life.

Yours,

Li Hua

Kimi: 11-13分

根据提供的评分标准和考生作文，以下是对作文的评分和分析：

**内容覆盖**

- 考生提到了在公园上的美术课，描述了完成的作品，包括绿色的树、五彩斑斓的花和一个宁静的湖。

- 考生表达了对这次经历的感想，包括感觉与自然很亲近，这次经历激发了创造力，并理解了艺术来源于生活。

**语法和词汇**

- 语法结构和词汇基本准确，没有明显错误。

- 词汇使用较为简单，但足以表达意思。

**连贯性**

- 文章结构紧凑，内容连贯。

**评分**: 11-13分

**分析依据**:

- 考生完全完成了试题规定的任务，覆盖了所有内容要点。

- 语法结构和词汇应用基本准确，尽管尝试使用了一些复杂结构，但未出现错误。

- 文章使用了简单的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑，达到了预期的写作目的。

**修改后的满分作文**:

Dear Chris,

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. I immersed myself in the natural beauty and created a landscape painting that captured the essence of the park. The scene included lush green trees, a vibrant array of flowers, and a tranquil lake that served as a backdrop.

This art class was truly an extraordinary experience. Being amidst nature allowed me to draw inspiration directly from the environment. I could meticulously observe the intricate details of the scenery, and through my drawing, I was able to express the harmony and balance I saw. It was a profound realization that art is not just a representation but a reflection of life itself.

Yours,

Li Hua

**注意**: 修改后的作文在原文的基础上增加了一些描述性的语言，使得内容更加丰富和生动。同时，也尝试使用了更多的词汇和稍微复杂的句式结构，以提升文章的表达质量。

讯飞星火：14-15分

评分：14-15分

分析：考生的作文完全完成了试题规定的任务，覆盖了所有内容要点。应用了较多的语法结构和词汇，语法结构或词汇方面有个别错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言应用能力，有效地使用语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑，完全达到了预期的写作目的。

修改后的满分作文：

Dear Chris,

I'm writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. I drew a beautiful landscape of the park. There were green trees, colorful flowers and a peaceful lake. This art class was really amazing. I felt so close to nature and it inspired my creativity a lot. I could observe the details of the scenery carefully and express them through my drawing. It made me understand that art comes from life.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

Copilot: 14-15分

Your essay is well-written and covers the required points. Here’s an analysis based on the provided scoring criteria:

Analysis:

Content (14-15 points): You have fully covered the required points: describing your artwork and sharing your feelings about the experience. The content is relevant and complete.

Language Use (14-15 points): You have used a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures. There are no significant grammatical errors, and the language is clear and effective.

Structure (14-15 points): The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The use of linking words makes the text cohesive.

Suggested Modifications:

To achieve a perfect score, here are some minor adjustments to enhance clarity and flow:

Dear Chris,

I’m writing to share with you an art class I had in a park last Friday. I drew a beautiful landscape of the park, featuring green trees, colorful flowers, and a peaceful lake.

This art class was truly amazing. I felt so close to nature, which greatly inspired my creativity. Observing the details of the scenery carefully allowed me to express them through my drawing. It made me realize that art truly comes from life.

Yours,

Li Hua

These changes ensure the essay is concise, clear, and maintains a natural flow, meeting the highest standards of the scoring criteria.

编辑/伍君仪，AI语言教练