3大AI决战剑桥英语FCE考试满分作文：《纸牌屋》书评——哪家最强？

剑桥FCE考试（First Certificate in English）是剑桥英语通用五级考试（MSE）的第三级，KET/PET之后的级别，江湖人称“小雅思”，官方样题的大作文是——

FCE大作文题目：写书评

伍教练制作的prompt（觉得有用，欢迎自取）：

请给考生作文评分，满分20分，给出content、communicative achievement、organisation、language的band分以及分析依据。请用中文输出，举例保持用英语原文。最后按照评分标准将考生作文改写成满分作文。

评分标准

Content

Good: The candidate answered the task. They have done what they were asked to do.

Bad: The candidate did not include everything they were asked to. They have written something irrelevant.

Communicative Achievement

Good: The writing is appropriate for the task. The candidate used a style which is appropriate for the specific communicative context.

Bad: They have written in a way that is not suitable - for example, using a very formal style in an email to a friend or ending an article with 'Love.

Organisation

Good: The writing is put together well. It is logical and ordered.

Bad: It is difficult for the reader to follow. It uses elements of organisation which are not appropriate for the genre, like beginning an email with a title or starting every sentence in an article on a new line instead of using paragraphs.

Language

Good: There is a good range of vocabulary and grammar. They are used accurately.

Bad: There are mistakes that could make the text difficult or confusing for the reader. Some mistakes are unproblematic. Whether the reader is still able to understand the text is considered.

content维度

Band 5 All content is relevant to the task. Target reader is fully informed.

Band 4 Performance shares features of Bands 3 and 5.

Band 3 Minor irrelevances and/ or omissions may be present. Target reader is on the whole informed.

Band 2 Performance shares features of Bands 1 and 3.

Band 1 Irrelevances and misinterpretation of task may be present. Target reader is minimally informed.

Band 0 Content is totally irrelevant. Target reader is not informed.

Communicative Achievement维度

Band 5 Uses the conventions of the communicative task effectively to hold the target reader’s attention and communicate straightforward and complex ideas, as appropriate.

Band 4 Performance shares features of Bands 3 and 5.

Band 3 Uses the conventions of the communicative task to hold the target reader’s attention and communicate straightforward ideas.

Band 2 Performance shares features of Bands 1 and 3.

Band 1 Uses the conventions of the communicative task in generally appropriate ways to communicate straightforward ideas.

Band 0 Performance below Band 1.

Organisation维度

Band 5 Text is well organised and coherent, using a variety of cohesive devices and organisational patterns to generally good effect.

Text is well organised and coherent, using a variety of cohesive devices and organisational patterns to generally good effect.

Band 4 Performance shares features of Bands 3 and 5.

Band 3 Text is generally well organised and coherent, using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices.

Band 2 Performance shares features of Bands 1 and 3.

Band 1 Text is connected and coherent, using basic linking words and a limited number of cohesive devices.

Band 0 Performance below Band 1.

Language维度

Band 5 Uses a range of vocabulary, including less common lexis, appropriately. Uses a range of simple and complex grammatical forms with control and flexibility. Occasional errors may be present but do not impede communication.

Uses the conventions of the communicative task effectively to hold the target readers attention and communicate straightforward and complex ideas, as appropriate.

Band 4 Performance shares features of Bands 3 and 5.

Band 3 Uses a range of everyday vocabulary appropriately, with occasional inappropriate use of less common lexis. Uses a range of simple and some complex grammatical forms with a good degree of control. Errors do not impede communication.

Band 2 Performance shares features of Bands 1 and 3.

Band 1 Uses everyday vocabulary generally appropriately, while occasionally overusing certain lexis. Uses simple grammatical forms with a good degree of control. While errors are noticeable, meaning can still be determined.

Band 0 Performance below Band 1.

考生作文如下：

把生词硬塞到考试作文里

A Review of House of Cards

Michael Dobbs’ House of Cards told us about the career of Francis Urquhart. Unlike his First Nation counterparts in Canada, the Conservative Party whip did not have to follow rules like the Eighteenth Amendment. Neither did he have to read a great leader’s anthology, nor did he follow the customs of the Muharram. He has no children or dogs like an American Cocker Spaniel. All his colleagues thought he was a calm statesman with a BBW wife who always appreciated his pet talks in the office.

It was the time before the Amazon Web Service came into being in the early 1990s. Politicians like Francis had a lot of vacay, during which he could ignore the RSVP and the like. What surprised me was that such an honorable leader set the premier up in a rush like a sociopath. In the end of the story, his jibberjabber was accidentally recorded by his nemesis, a young female reporter. Perhaps the author favored a journalist more than a politician.

I’m not recommending this novel to the public because the female role is not as good as that in a Chinese opera, and the dark side of the high officials makes readers shiver in their boots. Although the emotional ebullition between the premier and his brother touched me quite a bit, I’m afraid a common reader would be so bored that he or she would shoot the author with a firelock!

以上是伍教练的大作，并不单纯是练笔，而是用来输出前一日查的生词，包括听加拿大原居民教育播客Sitting by the Fire（First Nation、Eighteenth Amendment等），还有同传透析喜马拉雅上的免费长篇恐怖悬疑小说《黄河鬼事》（火铳、花旦等）等，硬塞到作文里，于是写出了意想不到的有趣文字。写完后经过Quillbot修改了一些语法错误。

为了方便理解，我用软件翻译如下：

《纸牌屋》评论

迈克尔·多布斯的《纸牌屋》讲述了弗朗西斯·厄克哈特的职业生涯。与加拿大第一民族的同行不同，这位保守党党鞭不必遵守第十八修正案之类的规则。他不必阅读伟大领袖的选集，也不遵循穆哈兰姆的习俗。他没有孩子，也没有像美国可卡犬那样的狗。他的同事们都认为他是一个冷静的政治家，有一个胖胖的妻子，她总是欣赏他在办公室里的宠物谈话。

那是在 1990 年代初亚马逊网络服务出现之前。像弗朗西斯这样的政客有很多假期，在此期间他可以忽略 RSVP 之类的东西。让我惊讶的是，这样一位光荣的领导人竟然像反社会者一样匆忙地陷害总理。在故事的最后，他的胡言乱语被他的死对头——一位年轻的女记者意外地录了下来。也许作者更喜欢记者而不是政客。

我不推荐大家看这部小说，因为里面的女性角色不如京剧，而高官的阴暗面也让读者不寒而栗。虽然总理和他弟弟之间的感情激荡让我颇有感触，但恐怕普通读者会无聊到拿枪射死作者！

最终评分13/20

- Content: Band 4

- Communicative Achievement: Band 3

- Organisation: Band 3

- Language: Band 3

分析依据：

- Content: 考生的作文回答了任务要求，描述了书中主角的行为以及为什么这种行为让人感到惊讶。然而，对于是否推荐这本书的部分，考生提供了个人的观点和理由，但未完全涵盖所有要点，因此介于Band 3和5之间。

- Communicative Achievement: 文章使用了适当的风格来完成任务，但表达方式有时略显生硬或不自然，适合Band 3。

- Organisation: 文章结构基本清晰，使用了一些连接词，但整体组织和连贯性有待加强，符合Band 3的描述。

- Language: 使用了一定范围的词汇和语法结构，偶有错误但不影响理解，适合评为Band 3。

改写后的满分作文：

Title: The Unpredictable Path of Power in "House of Cards"

In Michael Dobbs’ intriguing novel, "House of Cards," we are introduced to Francis Urquhart, a character whose journey through the corridors of power defies conventional expectations. Unlike many of his contemporaries, Urquhart, a Conservative Party whip, unapologetically bypasses traditional constraints such as the Eighteenth Amendment and customary practices observed during Muharram. Furthermore, he deviates from the norm by lacking typical family commitments or even the companionship of a pet. His peers perceive him as a serene statesman, complemented by his statuesque wife who appreciates his idiosyncratic office banter.

Set against the backdrop of the pre-Amazon Web Services era, where politicians enjoyed ample leisure, Francis Urquhart's actions were particularly noteworthy. Instead of relishing his free time, he orchestrates a swift, almost sociopathic rise to power, culminating in an unforeseen setup of the prime minister. The narrative climaxes with Urquhart’s downfall initiated by an accidental recording of his candid remarks by a tenacious young female journalist. This twist not only underscores the author’s potential preference for journalists over politicians but also highlights the precariousness of political careers.

Despite these captivating plot elements, I would hesitate to recommend "House of Cards" universally. While the complex relationship between the prime minister and his brother adds depth to the story, the portrayal of women and the chilling depiction of high-level corruption might dissuade some readers. The nuanced emotional exchanges do touch the heart, yet they risk being overshadowed by the overall gloomy atmosphere, which could potentially leave readers feeling overwhelmed.

In conclusion, "House of Cards" offers a compelling exploration of politics and human nature. However, its somber aspects and questionable character development might challenge the tastes of a general audience seeking not just thrilling narratives but also uplifting stories.

改写后的满分作文：

标题：《纸牌屋》中不可预测的权力之路

在迈克尔·多布斯引人入胜的小说《纸牌屋》中，我们认识了弗朗西斯·厄克哈特，他穿越权力走廊的旅程违背了传统的期望。与他的许多同时代人不同，保守党党鞭厄克哈特毫无歉意地绕过了传统的限制，例如第十八修正案和穆哈兰姆月期间的习俗。此外，他偏离了常规，缺乏典型的家庭承诺，甚至没有宠物陪伴。他的同龄人认为他是一位沉稳的政治家，他的身材高挑的妻子欣赏他独特的办公室玩笑，这也为他增色不少。

在亚马逊网络服务时代之前，政客们享有充足的休闲时间，弗朗西斯·厄克哈特的行为尤其引人注目。他没有享受闲暇时光，而是策划了一场几乎反社会的快速崛起，最终导致首相出乎意料地落入圈套。故事的高潮是厄克哈特的垮台，起因是一位顽强的年轻女记者意外录下了他坦率的言论。这一转折不仅凸显了作者对记者而非政客的潜在偏好，也凸显了政治生涯的不稳定性。

尽管有这些引人入胜的情节元素，我还是不太愿意向所有人推荐《纸牌屋》。虽然首相和他兄弟之间复杂的关系为故事增添了深度，但对女性的刻画和对高层腐败的令人不寒而栗的描述可能会让一些读者望而却步。微妙的情感交流确实触动人心，但它们有可能被整体阴郁的氛围所掩盖，这可能会让读者感到不知所措。

总之，《纸牌屋》对政治和人性进行了引人入胜的探索。然而，其阴郁的情节和令人质疑的人物发展可能会挑战那些不仅寻求惊心动魄的叙事而且寻求振奋人心的故事的普通观众的品味。

最终评分12/20

Content（内容）: Band 3

考生的作文内容基本符合题目要求，讨论了书中主角的行为及其出人意料之处。然而，作文中有些信息与题目要求不完全相关，比如提到了“Amazon Web Service”和“Muharram”，这些内容对于书评来说并不重要，可能会让读者感到困惑。

Communicative Achievement（交际成就）: Band 3

作文使用了适合书评的文体，但某些表达方式不太适合，比如“shoot the author with a firelock”这种表述在书评中显得过于戏剧化，不太适合这种文体。

Organisation（组织结构）: Band 3

作文的结构基本清晰，有开头、中间和结尾，但段落之间的过渡不够流畅，部分信息的组织也不够合理，影响了文章的整体连贯性。

Language（语言）: Band 3

考生使用了一定范围的词汇和语法结构，但存在一些错误，如“vacay”（应为“vacation”），“jibberjabber”（应为“jibber-jabber”），以及一些不准确的用词，如“BBW”（可能是指“big beautiful woman”，但在这里使用不恰当），这些都影响了文章的准确性和流畅性。

以下是根据评分标准改写的满分作文示例：

**A Review of 'House of Cards' by Michael Dobbs**

In Michael Dobbs' political thriller 'House of Cards,' we follow the career of Francis Urquhart, a Conservative Party whip whose Machiavellian rise to power is as gripping as it is unexpected. Unlike his peers, Urquhart plays by his own rules, navigating the treacherous waters of politics without the constraints of traditional morality or the need for a public image of family values.

The novel is set in the early 1990s, a time before the digital age, when politicians like Urquhart had the liberty to plot their moves in private, away from the prying eyes of the public. What makes Urquhart's character truly surprising is his ruthless ambition, which leads him to manipulate and betray even his closest allies in a calculated game of power.

The climax of the story, where Urquhart's deceitful monologues are inadvertently recorded by a young reporter, adds a layer of irony to his downfall. It's a testament to Dobbs' narrative skill that such a twist can be both shocking and satisfying.

While I found the emotional conflict between the premier and his brother to be deeply moving, I cannot wholeheartedly recommend 'House of Cards' to everyone. The portrayal of the female lead lacks depth compared to the complexity of the male characters, and the dark portrayal of high-level politics may be off-putting to some readers. However, for those intrigued by the darker side of political ambition, this book offers a compelling and cautionary tale.

请注意，这个改写的例子是根据评分标准和考生作文的原始内容进行的，旨在展示如何提高作文的质量以满足满分标准。实际的满分作文可能会根据考生的具体写作风格和表达能力有所不同。

以下是根据评分标准改写满分作文示例：

迈克尔·多布斯的《纸牌屋》评论

在迈克尔·多布斯的政治惊悚片《纸牌屋》中，我们跟随弗朗西斯·厄克哈特的职业生涯，他是保守党党鞭，他马基雅维利式的崛起既扣人心弦又出人意料。与他的同龄人不同，厄克哈特按照自己的规则行事，在政治的危险水域中航行，不受传统道德的约束，也不需要树立家庭价值观的公众形象。

这部小说的背景是 20 世纪 90 年代初，当时数字时代尚未到来，像厄克哈特这样的政客可以自由地私下策划他们的行动，远离公众的窥探。厄克哈特角色真正令人惊讶的是他冷酷无情的野心，这导致他在精心策划的权力游戏中操纵和背叛他最亲密的盟友。

故事的高潮是厄克哈特的欺骗性独白被一位年轻记者无意中录了下来，这为他的垮台增添了一层讽刺意味。这样的转折既令人震惊又令人满足，这证明了多布斯的叙事技巧。

虽然我发现总理和他兄弟之间的情感冲突令人感动，但我不能全心全意地向所有人推荐《纸牌屋》。与男性角色的复杂性相比，女主角的刻画缺乏深度，高层政治的黑暗刻画可能会让一些读者反感。然而，对于那些对政治野心的阴暗面感兴趣的人来说，这本书提供了一个引人入胜且具有警示作用的故事。

最终评分13/20

#### Content (Band 3)

- **Score:** 3

- **Analysis:** The essay includes several irrelevant points (e.g., First Nations, Eighteenth Amendment, Muharram, AWS, BBW) and does not clearly explain the surprising behavior of the main character. However, it does mention the surprising act (setting up the premier) and provides a brief opinion on the recommendation.

#### Communicative Achievement (Band 3)

- **Score:** 3

- **Analysis:** The review is somewhat appropriate for the task but includes unnecessary and potentially confusing references (e.g., "BBW wife," "pet talks," "jibberjabber"). The tone and style are informal but not necessarily inappropriate for the magazine's audience.

#### Organisation (Band 3)

- **Score:** 3

- **Analysis:** The text is generally well-organized but lacks clear transitions between ideas (e.g., from Francis Urquhart's character to the technology era). There is no distinct introduction or conclusion, and the review jumps between different aspects of the book without clear structure.

#### Language (Band 3)

- **Score:** 3

- **Analysis:** There is a range of vocabulary used, but some terms are inappropriate (e.g., "vacay," "shiver in their boots"). Grammar is generally controlled, but there are some errors (e.g., "told us" instead of "tells us," missing articles). The text is mostly understandable despite these issues.

### Total Score: 12/20

---

### Model Answer (20/20)

**A Review of "House of Cards"**

In Michael Dobbs' political thriller "House of Cards," the main character, Francis Urquhart, is a Conservative Party whip whose ambition knows no bounds. What makes Urquhart's actions particularly surprising is his ruthless manipulation of events to climb the political ladder. Despite his outward demeanor of calm and respectability, he orchestrates the downfall of the sitting premier with calculated precision. His manipulations, often carried out under the guise of friendly advice, lead to a series of unexpected twists that ultimately result in his own ascension to power.

This book is a gripping portrayal of the dark side of politics, where loyalty and ethics take a backseat to personal ambition. The author masterfully builds tension through a series of well-crafted scenes, making the story compelling and unpredictable. While the main character's actions may be disturbing, they also provide a fascinating glimpse into the mind of someone willing to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals.

I highly recommend "House of Cards" to anyone interested in political intrigue and psychological drama. The narrative is engaging, and the characters are complex and intriguing. Even though the story can be unsettling at times, it offers valuable insights into the dynamics of power and influence.

* * *

### Scoring Rationale

#### Content (Band 5)

- **Score:** 5

- **Analysis:** The review includes all relevant information, explains the surprising behavior of the main character, and provides a clear recommendation.

#### Communicative Achievement (Band 5)

- **Score:** 5

- **Analysis:** The review is appropriate for the task and maintains a consistent tone throughout. It holds the reader's attention and communicates both straightforward and complex ideas effectively.

#### Organisation (Band 5)

- **Score:** 5

- **Analysis:** The text is well-organized and coherent, using a variety of cohesive devices and organizational patterns to good effect. There is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

#### Language (Band 5)

- **Score:** 5

- **Analysis:** A wide range of vocabulary and complex grammatical structures are used accurately. There are no errors that impede communication.

范文 (20/20)

《纸牌屋》评论

在迈克尔·多布斯的政治惊悚片《纸牌屋》中，主角弗朗西斯·厄克哈特是保守党党鞭，他的野心无止境。厄克哈特的行为尤其令人惊讶，因为他无情地操纵事件以爬上政治阶梯。尽管他外表冷静而体面，但他精心策划了现任总理的垮台。他的操纵往往以友好建议为幌子，导致一系列意想不到的转折，最终导致他自己掌权。

这本书是对政治阴暗面的扣人心弦的描绘，忠诚和道德让位于个人野心。作者通过一系列精心设计的场景巧妙地营造了紧张气氛，使故事引人入胜且难以预测。虽然主角的行为可能令人不安，但它们也让我们得以一窥一个愿意不惜一切代价实现目标的人的内心世界。

我强烈推荐《纸牌屋》给任何对政治阴谋和心理剧感兴趣的人。故事情节引人入胜，人物复杂而有趣。尽管故事有时令人不安，但它提供了对权力和影响力动态的宝贵见解。

三大AI满分作文对比

AI把伍教练的胡说八道（因为硬塞了生词）改成符合剑桥官方满分标准的作文，居然也是相当精彩的《纸牌屋》原版小说短评，大出意外。这个小说是最近读完的，我认为不如美剧精彩。在美剧之前有英剧改编，我没看过，但搜了剧情应该也比原著好。

原因主要是：最后美女记者不仅没有被玩残玩死，反而单兵打爆老男人。但凡不是too simple的读者都会觉得作者Michael Dobbs过于YY——大内机密随随便便就能在内务府的电脑查到；传媒大亨这么容易就被恐吓到，落荒而逃；首相级别的政坛老狐狸在慌乱中被录音自证其罪……所以拍电视剧要改剧情，美女必须死，老奸巨猾一定要笑到最后！另外，11万词的小说还是短了点，更多精彩还得刷剧。

特别关注FCE的大作文题要求：对于这本书，你推荐？不推荐？

Tell us whether or not you would recommend this book to other people.

我就明确表示“不推荐”，结果讯飞星火、Kimi的改写是根据我的意愿表达了“不推荐”的观点，而通义千问则另起炉灶，改成“推荐”。如果AI的改写是从考生的习作出发，参考价值更大。首先，我不得不承认通义千问的文笔很厉害，像：

ambition knows no bounds

orchestrates the downfall of the sitting premier with calculated precision

ascension to power

offers valuable insights into the dynamics of power

非常值得学习，但整体上有些泛泛而谈，几乎见不到我写的内容。我甚至怀疑AI读过House of Cards，有能力完全抛开我的书评另起炉灶，但通义的实际表现差强人意，满分作文没显示它读过原著，因为缺乏细节，不如另外两家大模型好玩。

讯飞星火的文笔不遑多让：

a character whose journey through the corridors of power defies conventional expectations

unapologetically bypasses traditional constraints

难能可贵的是星火尽量保留了我写的大量细节，例如最后“党鞭”被女记者偷偷录音，而且还有用上了不少我特意输出的生词：

the Eighteenth Amendment and customary practices observed during Muharram.

orchestrates a swift, almost sociopathic rise to power

Urquhart’s downfall initiated by an accidental recording of his candid remarks by a tenacious young female journalist

我最欣赏的是星火把我的“不推荐”进行了理论升华。作文写到结论的时候，我在对着生词本，看还能把哪个生词塞进去，所以没有太注意结合官场尔虞我诈等进行系统总结，况且到了这种理论高度我也是不擅长的。没想到AI竟能充分利用我写的细节，从人物情感、情节氛围、形象发展等方面交叉论述，令人叹为观止——

I would hesitate to recommend "House of Cards" universally

“不推荐”还可以用hesitate to，学到了，我随手存入生词本，后面就需要根据Dialysis的输出流程自己也在其他作文中写一遍。

Kimi是最近才试用的AI，一上来文笔就很炸裂：

Machiavellian rise to power

这种有历史厚度的表达远超普通考生的见识，我就算知道“马基雅维利主义”也不敢写，毕竟拼写很难啊！

navigating the treacherous waters of politics

这个表达就是中文常说的“水太深”，令人拍案叫绝！

最后表达“不推荐”，它是这么写的：

may be off-putting to some readers

同样是远超普通考生的水平，考官不是直接打满分，就是上报“怀疑作弊”了！

    如何向AI学习写作

《纸牌屋》的书评、剧评网上有很多，伍教练过去也喜欢上豆瓣、IMDb之类看影评，但读了大神们的高超文笔不等于自己也会写。海量输入训练的是阅读和听力的理解能力，自然转化为输出能力的转化率是很低的，一些研究甚至说几乎没有。要自己也会写或者说，就必须训练输出，这也是克拉申的“可理解性输入”理论的不足之处。

现在，AI可以说“完美破解”了剑桥的FCE乃至一切英语考试的作文部分，任何一家大模型写这类要求明确的题目，功力都远超正常人类。剩下的问题就是，咱正常人类如何学习这种“超能力”？

伍教练的经验是：输出必须落实到具体的词汇（包括短语，但通常不扩展到句子，除非是成语、格言等），以词汇作为单元进行使用级真英语输入，再以词汇为单元输出，形成闭环。因为，考试作文分为3个层次：

1语法。语法和拼写正确是最基本的要求，平时训练必须用Quillbot这类专业的语法AI校正，比用AI大模型更专业，检查更彻底。

2表达。尽可能运用丰富的词汇，才不至于被AI批评“词汇使用也较为基础，缺乏变化”，而这里我们直接取材于每日的原著阅读、播客听力，乃至同传训练，来源远比英语老师提供的“满分模板”丰富，质量也更高。从满分作文中学习，更是有利于直接提分，所以我要求冲高分的学生至少透析几家AI的满分作文，而且一定要落实到词汇，查词并主动输出，而不是搞虚头巴脑的“修辞”之类。

3立意。这是高层次的意识形态，跟个人的天赋、阅历有关，相比上面的1、2更难提升，而且国内学生参加的大部分英语考试都不会要求太高，除非是雅思、GRE、DSE的大作文。这方面的提升可以通过激发写作兴趣实现：把不相干的生词写到作文里，让你从各种刁钻的角度推演作文题中的老生常谈，能够最大限度拓展写作思维；再让AI专业批改，本身就是一个好玩的写作游戏，让你拥有每日写作文的兴趣和动力。