五十五
经过电子游戏厅，看见痴迷又疲惫的玩客，仿佛是看了人间的模型。变幻莫测的游戏是红尘的引诱，一台台电脑即姓名各异的肉身。你去品尝红尘，要先具肉身——哪一样快乐不是经由它传递？Walking past the video game arcade, I saw the obsessed and exhausted gamers, as if looking at a model of the human world. The unpredictable games are the temptations of the mortal world, and each computer is like a body with a different name. To experience the mortal world, you first need a body - after all, which pleasure isn't transmitted through it?
带上足够的本金去吧，让欲望把定一台电脑，灵魂就算附体了，你就算是投了胎，五光十色的屏幕一亮你已经落生人间。Take enough money and go. Let your desires fix on a computer, and it's as if your soul has attached itself. You are then reincarnated. Once the colorful screen lights up, you have been born into the human world.
孩子们哭闹着想进游戏厅，多像一块块假宝玉要去作“红楼梦”。欲望一头扎进电脑，多像灵魂钻进了肉身？Children crying and wanting to enter the game arcade are much like pieces of fake jade wanting to experience the "Dream of the Red Chamber". When desires plunge into the computer, isn't it much like the soul entering the body?
按动键盘吧，学会人世的规矩。熟练指法吧，摸清谋生的门道。谢谢电脑，这奇妙的肉身为实现欲望接通了种种机会——你想做英雄吗？这儿有战争。想当领袖吗？这儿有社会。Press the keys. Learn the rules of the human world. Master the finger movements. Figure out the ways to make a living. Thank the computer. This wonderful body has connected various opportunities for fulfilling desires - do you want to be a hero? There's war here. Want to be a leader? There's society here.
想成为智者？好，这儿有迷宫。要发财这儿有银行可抢，要拈花惹草这儿有些黄色的东西你看够不够？要赌博？咳呀那还用说，这儿的一切都是赌博。Want to be a wise person? Well, there's a maze here. Want to get rich? There's a bank to rob here. Want to philander? Well, there are some pornographic things here. Do you want to gamble? Of course! Everything here is gambling.
你玩得如醉如痴，噼里啪啦到噼里啪啦，到本金告罄，到游戏厅打烊，到老眼昏花，直到游戏日新月异踏过你残老的身体，这时似乎才想起点别的什么。什么呢？好像与快乐的必然结束有关。You play obsessively, with the keys clicking away until your money runs out, until the game arcade closes, until your eyes grow dim, until the games change with each passing day and trample over your decrepit body. At this point, it seems that you start to think of something else. What is it? It seems to be related to the inevitable end of happiness.
荒诞感袭来是件好事，省得说“瞎问那么多有什么用”。It's a good thing when the sense of absurdity hits you. It saves you from saying, "What's the point of asking so many useless questions?"
其实应该祝愿潇洒从头至尾都不遭遇荒诞的盘查，可这事谁也做不了主，荒诞并非没有疏漏，但并不单单放过潇洒。而且你不能拒绝它：拒绝盘查，实际已经被盘查。Actually, one should wish that the carefree ones never encounter the scrutiny of absurdity from start to finish. But no one can control this. Absurdity isn't without loopholes, but it doesn't single out the carefree ones. And you can't refuse it: refusing the scrutiny actually means you've already been scrutinized.
五十六
怕死的心理各式各样。作恶者怕地狱当真。行善着怕天堂有诈。潇洒担心万一来世运气不好，潇洒何以为继？There are various psychological states regarding the fear of death. Evildoers are afraid that hell really exists. The kind-hearted are afraid that heaven is a hoax. The carefree are worried that in case their luck is bad in the afterlife, how can they continue to be carefree?
英雄豪杰，照理说早都置生死于度外，可一想到宏图伟业忽而回零，心情也不好。总而言之，死之可怕，是因为毕竟谁也摸不清死要把我们带去哪儿？Heroes and heroic figures, theoretically, should have long put life and death aside. But when they think that their grand plans and great undertakings will suddenly come to nothing, they don't feel good either. All in all, the reason death is terrifying is that after all, no one really knows where death will take us.
然而人什么都可能躲过，惟死不可逃脱。However, humans can avoid almost everything except death.
可话说回来，天地间的热情岂能寂灭？上帝的游戏哪有终止？宇宙膨胀不歇，轰轰烈烈的消息总要传达。But then again, how can the passion in the world be extinguished? How can God's game ever end? The universe is expanding ceaselessly, and the magnificent messages always need to be conveyed.
人便是这生生不息的传达，便是这热情的载体，便是残缺朝向圆满的迁徙，便是圆满不可抵达的困惑和与之同来的思与悟，便是这永无终途的欲望。所以一切尘世之名都可以磨灭，而“我”不死。Humans are the ceaseless conveyance, the carriers of this passion, the migration from imperfection towards perfection, the confusion of not being able to reach perfection and the accompanying thoughts and insights, the never-ending desires. So all earthly names can be erased, but "I" will never die.
五十七
“我”在哪儿？在一个个躯体里，在与他人的交流里，在对世界的思考与梦想里，在对一棵小草的察看和对神秘的猜想里，在对过去的回忆、对未来的眺望、在终于不能不与神的交谈之中。Where is "I"? In individual bodies, in communication with others, in thinking and dreaming about the world, in observing a small grass and speculating about the mystery, in recalling the past, looking forward to the future, and finally in having to have a conversation with God.
正如浪与水。我写过：浪是水，浪消失了，水还在。浪是水的形式，水的消息，是水的欲望和表达。Just like waves and water. I once wrote: A wave is water. When the wave disappears, the water remains. A wave is the form of water, the message of water, the desire and expression of water.
浪活着，是水，浪死了，还是水。水是浪的根据，浪的归宿，水是浪的无穷与永恒。When the wave is alive, it is water. When the wave dies, it is still water. Water is the basis of the wave, the destination of the wave, the infinity and eternity of the wave.
所有的消息都在流传，各种各样的角色一个不少，惟时代的装束不同，尘世的姓名有变。每一个人都是一种消息的传达与继续，所有的消息连接起来，便是历史，便是宇宙不灭的热情。All messages are circulating. All kinds of roles are intact, only the costumes of the times are different, and the earthly names have changed. Each person is the conveyance and continuation of a message. When all the messages are connected, it is history, it is the undying passion of the universe.
一个人就像一个脑细胞，沟通起来就有了思想，储存起来就有了传统。在这人间的图书馆或信息库存里，所有的消息都死过，所有的消息都活着，往日在等待另一些“我”来继续，那样便有了未来。A person is like a brain cell. When they communicate, there is thought. When they are stored, there is tradition. In this human library or information repository, all messages have died, all messages are alive. The past is waiting for other "I"s to continue, and then there will be a future.
死不过是某一个信号的中断，它“轻轻地走”，正如它还会“轻轻地来”。更换一台机器吧——有时侯不得不这样，但把消息拷贝下来，重新安装进新的生命，继续，和继续的继续。Death is just the interruption of a signal. It "leaves gently", just as it will "come gently". Replace a machine sometimes - it's necessary. But copy the message, reinstall it into a new life, continue, and continue to continue.
