四十六
所以爱是一种心愿，不在街上和衣兜里，也不在储蓄所。睁着俩眼向外找，可以找到救济（包括性方面的救济），仅此而已。So love is a wish, not on the streets or in pockets, nor in savings institutions. With eyes wide open looking outward, one can find relief (including sexual relief), and that's all.
爱却艰难，心魂的敞开甚至危险。他人也许正是你的地狱，那儿有心灵的伤疤结成的铠甲，有防御的目光铸成的刀剑，有语言排布的迷宫，有笑靥掩蔽的陷阱。Love, however, is arduous, and the opening of the soul is even dangerous. Others may be your hell, where there are armors formed from the scars of the soul, swords forged from defensive gazes, mazes arranged by language, and traps hidden behind smiles.
在那后面，当然，仍有孤独的心在战栗，仍有未熄的对沟通的渴盼。你还是要去吗？不甘就范？Behind that, of course, there is still a trembling heart in solitude, and an unquenched thirst for communication. Are you still going? Unwilling to submit?
那就可要谨慎，以孤胆去赌——他人即天堂，甚至以痛苦去偿你平生的夙愿。Then you must be cautious, to gamble with courage alone – others are heaven, even paying with pain for your lifelong wishes.
爱不比性的地方正在这里：性惟快乐，爱可没那么轻松。潇洒者早有警告：哥们儿你累不累？This is where love differs from sex: sex is only about pleasure, while love is not that easy. The carefree ones have already warned: Buddy, aren't you tired?
四十七
爱情所以选中性作为表达，作为仪式，正是因为，性，以其极端的遮蔽状态和极端的敞开形式，符合了爱的要求。Love chooses sex as an expression, as a ritual, precisely because sex, with its extreme state of concealment and extreme form of openness, meets the demands of love.
极端的遮蔽和极端的敞开，只要能表达这一点，不是性也可以，但恰恰是它，性于是走进爱的领地。Extreme concealment and extreme openness, as long as it can express this, it doesn't have to be sex, but it happens to be, and thus sex enters the realm of love.
没有什么比性更能体现这两种极端了，爱情所以看中它，正是要以心魂的敞开去敲碎心魂的遮蔽，爱情找到了它就像艺术家终于找到了一种形式，以期梦想可以清晰，可以确凿，可以不忘，尽管人生转眼即是百年。Nothing embodies these two extremes better than sex, and love values it for its ability to shatter the barriers of the soul with the openness of the heart. Love finds it as an artist finally finds a form, hoping that dreams can be clear, tangible, and unforgettable, even though life is but a hundred years in the blink of an eye.
但也正因为这样，性可以很方便地冒充爱情，正象满街假冒艺术的雕塑还少么？But precisely because of this, sex can easily impersonate love, just as there are so many counterfeit sculptures pretending to be art on the streets.
如果仪式之后没有内容，如果敞开的只是肉体，肌肤相依而心魂依然森严壁垒，那最多不过还是“喜欢”和“控制不住”。If there is no substance after the ritual, if what is opened is only the flesh, and the body is close but the soul remains heavily fortified, then it is at most still "liking" and "not being able to control".
（假冒的仪式越来越多，比如种种的宣誓，种种隆重的典礼和剪彩，比如荒诞可以成为时尚，真诚可以用作包装……）其实好色倒也是人情之常。红灯区如同公厕，利于卫生。(Counterfeit rituals are becoming more and more common, such as various oaths, grand ceremonies and ribbon-cuttings, for example, absurdity can become fashion, sincerity can be used as packaging...) In fact, being lustful is also a common human sentiment. Red-light districts are like public toilets, beneficial to hygiene.
只是这样无可厚非下去似乎文不对题——在美妙的肉体唾手可得的年代，心灵的孤独怎样了？爱怎样了？以及，性又随之怎样了呢？But if we continue to justify this, it seems off-topic – in an era where beautiful bodies are readily available, what about the loneliness of the soul? How about love? And what about sex as a result?
性冷漠据说在蔓延，越是性解放的地方，性越是失去着激情。是性不应该解放吗？不，总把性压迫在罪恶的阴影下是要出事的。Sexual apathy is said to be spreading, the more liberated sex is, the more it loses passion. Is sex not supposed to be liberated? No, always suppressing sex in the shadow of sin will lead to trouble.
但也不宜被解放到无根无据的地步，倘其像吐痰一样毫无弦外之音，爱凭什么偏要对它情有独钟，偏要向它注入奔涌不息的能量呢？But it should not be liberated to the point of being groundless; if it becomes like spitting with no implications, why should love favor it, why should it pour into it an unceasing energy?
四十八
爱之永恒的能量，在于人之间永恒的隔膜。爱之永远的激越，由于每一个“我”都是孤独。人不仅是被抛到这个世界上来的，而且是一个个分开着被抛来的。The eternal energy of love lies in the eternal separation between people. The eternal excitement of love is due to the loneliness of every "I." Humans are not only thrown into this world but are thrown in separately.
在上帝那儿，在灵魂被囚进肉体之前，“一生二，二生三，三生万物”之初，并无我、你、他之分别，巨大的存在之消息浑然一体，无份彼此内外，浮摇漫展无所不在。In the realm of God, before the soul was imprisoned in the body, at the very beginning of "One begets two, two begets three, three begets all things", there was no distinction between "I", "you", and "he". The great message of existence was an undivided whole, without any separation between each other, inside and outside, floating and spreading everywhere.
然后人间诞生了，人间诞生了其实就是有限诞生了。巨大的存在之消息被分割进亿万个小小的肉体，小小的囚笼，亿万种欲望拥挤摩擦，相互冲突又相互吸引，纵横交错成为人间。Then humanity was born, and the birth of humanity was actually the birth of limitation. The vast message of existence was divided into billions of small bodies, small cages, billions of desires crowded and rubbing against each other, conflicting and attracting each other, crisscrossing to become the world.
总有一些在默默运转，总有一些在高声喊叫，总有一些黯然失色随波逐浪，总有一些光芒万丈彪炳风流，总有弱中弱，总有王中王——不管是以什么方式，不管是以什么标牌，不管是以刀枪、金钱还是话语……总归一样。There are always some operating in silence, some shouting out loud, some fading into obscurity and drifting with the tide, some shining brightly and being remarkable. There are always the weakest of the weak and the strongest of the strong—no matter in what way, no matter with what label, no matter through guns, money or words... It's all the same in the end.
尼采说对了：权力意志。所有的种子都想发芽，所有的萌芽都想长大，所有的思绪都要漫展，没有办法的事。Nietzsche was right: the will to power. All seeds want to sprout, all sprouts want to grow, all thoughts want to spread, there's no way around it.
把弱者都聚拢到一块去平安吧，弱者中会浮涌出强人。把强人都归堆到一块儿去平等呢，强人中会沉淀出弱者。Gather all the weak together for peace, and the strong will emerge among the weak. Put all the strong together for equality, and the weak will settle among the strong.
把人一个个地都隔离开怎么样？又群起而不干。小时候，我们几个堂兄弟之间经常打架，奶奶就嚷：“放在一块儿就打，分开一会儿又想！”奶奶看得明白，就这么回事。What if we isolate people one by one? They will not stand for it. When we were young, my cousins and I often fought, and my grandmother would shout: "Fight when you're together, miss each other when you're apart!" My grandmother saw clearly, that's just how it is.
