四十九
说真的，我不大相信“话语霸权”之类的东西可能消灭，就像我也不大相信可以消灭人的贪婪。但消灭霸权和贪婪正在成为人的愿望，这就好，就像爱情，要紧的是心愿。Honestly, I don't quite believe that things like "discourse hegemony" can be eradicated, just as I don't quite believe that human greed can be eliminated either. But the fact that eliminating hegemony and greed is becoming people's aspiration is a good thing. It's like love, what matters is the wish.
我怀疑上帝是不是闷了，寂寞得不行，所以摆布一场反反复复的游戏？别管上帝的事吧。人呢，就像我和我的堂兄弟们一样，要紧的是相互想念，虽然打架。I wonder if God is bored, unbearably lonely, so He arranges this repetitive game? Let's not bother about God's affairs. As for humans, just like me and my cousins, what matters is that we miss each other, even though we fight.
那巨大的存在之消息，因分割而冲突，因冲突而防备，因防备而疏离，疏离而至孤独，孤独于是渴望着相互敞开——这便是爱之不断的根源。That great message of existence, due to division, leads to conflicts; because of conflicts, there is precaution; due to precaution, there is alienation; from alienation comes loneliness; and loneliness then yearns for mutual openness – this is the constant source of love.
敞开，不是性的专利，性是受了爱的恩宠，所以生气勃勃。如果性已经冷漠，已经疲倦，已经泛滥到了失去了倾诉的能力，那就让它仅仅去负责繁殖和潇洒。Openness is not the exclusive right of sex. Sex is favored by love, so it is full of vitality. If sex has already become indifferent, tired, and so widespread that it has lost the ability to confide, then let it only be responsible for reproduction and being carefree.
敞开，可以找到另外的仪式和路径，比如艺术，比如诗歌，比如戏剧和文学。不过文学这个词并不美妙，并不恰切，不如是协作，不如是倾诉和倾听，不如是梦幻、是神游。Openness can find other rituals and paths, such as art, poetry, drama, and literature. However, the term "literature" isn't that wonderful or appropriate. It would be better to call it collaboration, or confiding and listening, or being a dream, a mental journey.
因为那从来就不是什么学问，本不该有什么规范，本不该去符合什么学理，本不必求取公认，那是天地间最自由的一片思绪呀，是有限的时空中响彻的无限呼唤。Because it has never been a kind of learning. There shouldn't have been any norms, it shouldn't have to conform to any academic theories, and it doesn't have to seek public recognition. It is the freest train of thought between heaven and earth, an infinite call resounding in the limited space and time.
为此上帝也看重它，给它风采，给它浪漫，给它鬼魅与神奇，给它虚构的权力去敲碎现实的呆板，给它荒诞的逻辑以冲出这个既定的人间。For this reason, God also values it. He endows it with elegance, romance, mystery and magic, gives it the power of fiction to shatter the rigidity of reality, and gives it the absurd logic to break out of this established human world.
总之给它一种机会，重归那巨大的存在之消息，浩浩荡荡万千心魂重新浑然一体，赢得上帝的游戏，破译上帝以斯芬克斯的名义设下的谜语。In short, He gives it an opportunity to return to that great message of existence, allowing thousands of souls to merge into one again in a mighty way, to win God's game and decipher the riddle set by God in the name of the Sphinx.
五十
但这是可能的吗？迫使上帝放弃他的游戏，可能吗？放弃分割、放弃角色们的差异，让上帝结束他非凡的戏剧，这可能吗？那么喜欢热闹的上帝，又是那么精力旺盛、神通广大，让他重新回到无边的寂寞中去，他能干？But is this possible? Is it possible to force God to give up His game? To give up division, to give up the differences among the characters, and let God end His extraordinary drama? God, who loves excitement so much and is so energetic and omnipotent, can He go back to the boundless loneliness? Is He willing to do that?
要是他干，他曾经也就不必创造这个人间。喜好清静如佛者，也难免情系人间。我还是不能想像人人都成了佛的图景。人人都是一样，岂不万籁俱寂？If He were willing to do that, He wouldn't have had to create this human world in the first place. Even those who prefer tranquility like the Buddha are still sentimentally attached to the human world. I still can't imagine the scene where everyone becomes a Buddha. If everyone is the same, wouldn't it be completely silent?
人人都已圆满，生命再要投奔何方？那便连佛也不能有。佛乃觉悟，是一种思绪。一团圆满一片死寂，思之安附，悟从何来？所以有“烦恼即菩提”的箴言。If everyone is already perfect, where would life go? Then even the Buddha couldn't exist. The Buddha represents enlightenment, which is a kind of thought. In a state of complete perfection and dead silence, where would thoughts attach themselves? Where would enlightenment come from? So there is the proverb "Afflictions are bodhi".
人间总是喧嚣，因而佛陀领导清静。人间总有污浊，所以上帝主张清洁。那是一条路呵！皈依无处。The human world is always noisy, so the Buddha leads the way to tranquility. The human world is always filthy, so God advocates cleanliness. That is a path! There is no specific place for conversion.
皈依并不在一个处所，皈依是在路上。分割的消息要重新联通，隔离的心魂要重新聚合，这样的路上才有天堂。Conversion is not about a place; it is about being on the path. The divided messages need to be reconnected, and the isolated souls need to be reunited. Only on such a path can there be heaven.
这样的天堂有一个好处：不能争抢。你要去吗？好，上路就是。要上路吗？好，争抢无效，惟以爱的步伐。任何天堂的许诺，若非在路上，都难免刺激起争抢的欲望。There is an advantage to this kind of heaven: it can't be fought over. Do you want to go there? Okay, just set out on the path. Do you want to start on the path? Okay, fighting over it is useless. Only the steps of love will do. Any promise of heaven, if it's not about being on the path, will inevitably arouse the desire to fight over it.
不管是在举天之外，或是在异元时空，任何所谓天堂只要是许诺可以一劳永逸地到达，通向那儿的路上都会拥挤着贪婪。天堂是一条路。这就好了，永远是爱的步伐，又不担心会到达无穷的寂寞。Whether it's beyond the heavens or in a different dimension of time and space, any so-called heaven that promises to be reached once and for all will have the road leading to it crowded with greed. Heaven is a path. That's good. It's always the steps of love, and there's no worry of reaching infinite loneliness.
上帝想必是早就看穿了这一点，所以把他的游戏摆弄个没完。佛陀谙熟此道，所以思之无极。谢天谢地，皈依是一种心情，一种行走的姿态。God must have seen through this long ago, so He keeps playing His game endlessly. The Buddha is familiar with this, so His thoughts are boundless. Thank goodness, conversion is a mood, a walking posture.
五十一
爱是软弱的时刻，是求助于他者的心情，不是求助于他者的施予，是求助于他者的参加。爱，即分割之下的残缺向他者呼吁完整，或者竟是，向地狱要求天堂。爱所以艰难，常常落入窘境。Love is a moment of weakness, a mood of seeking help from others, not seeking their giving, but seeking their participation. Love means that the imperfection under division calls out to others for completeness, or even, demands heaven from hell. That's why love is difficult and often gets into awkward situations.
所以“爱的奉献”这句话奇怪。左腿怎么能送给右腿一个完整呢？只能是两条腿一起完整。此地狱怎么能向彼地狱奉献一个天堂呢？地狱的相互敞开，才可能朝向天堂。So the phrase "the dedication of love" is strange. How can the left leg give the right leg completeness? It can only be that both legs are complete together. How can one hell offer a heaven to another hell? Only when the hells are open to each other can they move towards heaven.
性可以奉献，爱却不能。爱就像语言，闻者不闻，言者还是哑巴。甘心于隔离地活着，惟爱和语言不需要。Sex can be dedicated, but love can't. Love is like language. Those who listen don't hear, and those who speak are still mute. Being willing to live in isolation is not needed for love and language.
爱和语言意图一致——让智识走向心魂深处，让深处的孤独与惶然相互沟通，让冷漠的宇宙充满热情，让无限的神秘暴露无限的意义。The intentions of love and language are the same – to let knowledge reach the depths of the soul, to let the loneliness and anxiety in the depths communicate with each other, to fill the cold universe with passion, and to expose infinite meaning in the infinite mystery.
巴别塔虽不成功，语言仍朝着通天的方向建造。这不是能够嘲笑的，连上帝也不能。人的处境是隔离，人的愿望是沟通，这两样都写在了上帝的剧本里。Although the Tower of Babel was not successful, language is still being built in the direction of reaching the heavens. This is not something that can be ridiculed, not even by God. The human situation is isolation, and the human wish is communication. Both of these are written in God's script.
