How Do Habits Really Work?习惯是如何发挥作用的?
Psychologists know that there’s certain structure that all habits follow.
There are dozens of models out there depicting this but for the purposes of this, to make things easier for all of us to understand, I’m going to use my favorite model, the habit loop model which was introduced by Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit.
The habit loop model contains three steps.
The first step is the cue.
The cue can come in many shapes and forms. It can be something in your environment like an object, a sound or a smell.
It can also be a certain time of day, a location, or even an emotion.
Whatever it is, the cue serves one purpose.
It tells your brain that it should start the habit and that’s where the next step of the habit loop comes in.
The second step of the habit loop is called the routine.
The routine is the actual habit itself. It’s the behavior that you perform.
So, if you have a bad habit of smoking cigarettes, it’s the act of taking out your pack, lighting your cigarette, and taking a pull.
This entire process is the routine.
The third and final step of the habit loop is the reward.
The reward can come in many shapes and forms and it varies from person to person.
It can even be a combination of different things.
For our example of smoking cigarettes, it could be a quick spike in our dopamine levels which nicotine provides.
It could be a break from work or it could even be the good feeling that comes from socializing for people that like to smoke in groups.
The reason the habit loop is called a loop is because of the rewards.
It the reward for the habit is satisfying enough, your brain says “Okay. This cue appears and we do this routine. Then we get a good reward. “And it keeps this information tucked asway for next time.
So, the next time the cue appears, your brain says “Oh, look, it’s that cue again. If we do the same routine as last time, we’ll get a good reward, just like last time. “And each and every time you reach the reward, this specific loop becomes stronger and stronger to the point where you no longer even have to think about the action.
You just do it.
When you reach this point where you no longer even have to think about doing the routine, that’s when a habit is officially formed and that’s the habit loop.
Now you’re probably wondering, “Well, this is good information and all, but how exactly can I use this to overcome my own addiction?” Well, this is important because it allows you to discover the cue, routine, reward of your current addiction.
It’s important to find out the cues for addiction because these are the cues that seem to appear in your life all of the time.
You can take these cues and attach them to more positive routines like exercise or meditation.
And if we can train our brains to associate these cues with those routines, we will have successfully replaced a bad habit with a good one.
Now it’s important to become aware of what your rewards are because by doing so, you’ll discover the driving force behind your addiction.
Let’s say, for example, you realize that the reward for your pornography habit is that it helps you relieve stress.
Maybe you have a tough day at work, or maybe you had a bad interaction with a girl you like.
Some of us, turn to porn to relieve this sort of stress.
It that’s the case, the we need to address this problem.
You’re not going to suddenly stop having stress in your life, so we need to pick a habit that can relieve stress.
A good example of this is the habit of lifting heavy weights.
Remember, habits cannot truly be erased.
The cue and reward can’t really be changed, but we can alter the routine.
And that’s the idea behind this entire course. Replace, not erase.
So, what I want you to do right now is to grab a pen and paper and start sketching out the habit loop for your own addiction.
The routine is pretty obvious. It’s the bad habit itself, but the cue can be a little tricky.
Most of the time there’s more than one cue.
There’s a variety of different situations that prompt us to indulge in our addiction, so think of as many as possible and write them down.
For example, here’s a list of the cues that I wrote back in the day when I was in the process of overcoming my own pornography addiction.
Uh, if I was drunk, if I felt rejected, if I has my phone or laptop on my bed before going to sleep.
Now, when it comes to identifying the rewards, it can be a bit tricky as well.
For one, every single bad habit that is addictive involves an increase in dopamine levels, but we have to dig deeper than that and uncover the main rewards that we crave.
In the book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg looked at his bad habit of eating cookies every single day.
At first glance you might think, well, the reward is probably the sugar rush or the satisfaction of hunger.
But Duhigg soon discovered that it was actually the reward of socializing because he would get up from his desk, walk to the cafeteria, by the cookie and talk to his coworkers.
He discovered this by noticing that just eating the cookie wasn’t enough to keep him satisfied.
He would always want more.
We need to think about our own addiction with this attention to detail.
A bad habit like pornography might provide you with a sense of validation because, to your brain, there’s hundreds of girls that want to sleep with you.
Another reward could be the fact that helps you fall asleep.
It could also be something that relieves stress or maybe it could be something that makes you feel like you accomplish something.
There’s many, many possibilities and the only way to really determine what the rewards are is by analyzing your own life.
If you’re someone who doesn’t feel the urge to masturbate after spending the entire day having a great time with your friends, then the reward for your addiction might be that it satisfies your social needs.
If you don’t feel the urge to masturbate when you get a massage one day after feeling stressed at work, your reward for your pornography addiction might be the fact that it relieves stress.
So, it’s really up to you think about this part carefully and hypothesize what the rewards are for your addiction.
Chances are you’re not going to finish this diagram in one sitting.
You’re probably going to think of some cues and come to the realization about the rewards throughout the next week or so.
So, make sure you add those to your diagram because it’s going to play an extremely important role throughout this course.
In our next lesson, we’re going to talk about how long it takes to form a habit.
There’s a huge misconception going around about this.
Some people say it takes 21 days; some say it takes ninety.
For the most part, they’re all wrong.
习惯是如何运作的？习惯是如何发挥作用的?
心理学家知道，所有的习惯都遵循一定的结构。
有几十个模型描述了这一点，但为了让我们更容易理解，我将使用我最喜欢的模型，习惯循环模型，它是查尔斯·杜希格在他的书《习惯的力量》中介绍的。
习惯循环模型包含三个步骤。
第一步是提示。
提示可以有多种形状和形式。它可以是你环境中的某种东西，比如物体、声音或气味。
它也可以是一天中的某个时间、某个地点，甚至是一种情绪。
不管是什么，提示都有一个目的。
它告诉你的大脑应该开始养成习惯，这就是习惯循环的下一步。
习惯循环的第二步被称为例行程序。
例行公事就是实际的习惯本身。这是你的行为。
所以，如果你有吸烟的坏习惯，那就是拿出你的包，点上你的烟，抽一口。
整个过程就是例行程序。
习惯循环的第三步也是最后一步是奖励。
奖励可以有多种形式，而且因人而异。
它甚至可以是不同事物的组合。
以我们吸烟为例，这可能是尼古丁提供的多巴胺水平的快速飙升。
对于喜欢集体吸烟的人来说，这可能是一次休息，甚至可能是社交带来的良好感觉。
习惯循环之所以被称为循环，是因为有回报。
如果对这个习惯的奖励足够令人满意，你的大脑会说：“好吧。这个提示出现了，我们做了这个程序。然后我们得到了一个很好的奖励。”它会把这些信息藏起来，以备下次使用。
所以，下次出现提示时，你的大脑会说：“哦，看，又是那个提示了。如果我们和上次一样做同样的动作，我们会得到很好的奖励，就像上次一样。”每次你达到奖励时，这个特定的循环就会变得越来越强，以至于你甚至不再需要思考这个动作。
你就这么做吧。
当你达到这样一个地步，你甚至不再需要考虑做常规的事情，那就是一个习惯正式形成的时候，这就是习惯循环。
现在你可能想知道，“好吧，这是一个很好的信息，但我到底该如何利用它来克服我自己的毒瘾？”好吧，这个很重要，因为它可以让你发现你当前毒瘾的线索、常规和回报。
找出上瘾的线索很重要，因为这些线索似乎一直出现在你的生活中。
你可以接受这些提示，并将其与更积极的日常活动联系起来，如锻炼或冥想。
如果我们能训练我们的大脑将这些线索与这些习惯联系起来，我们就会成功地用好习惯取代坏习惯。
现在，重要的是要意识到你的回报是什么，因为通过这样做，你会发现上瘾背后的驱动力。
比方说，你意识到你的色情习惯的回报是它能帮助你缓解压力。
也许你在工作中度过了艰难的一天，也许你和一个你喜欢的女孩的互动不好。
我们中的一些人通过看色情片来缓解这种压力。
既然如此，我们就需要解决这个问题。
你不会突然停止生活中的压力，所以我们需要养成一个可以缓解压力的习惯。
举个很好的例子就是举重的习惯。
记住，习惯是无法真正抹去的。
提示和奖励实际上无法改变，但我们可以改变常规。
这就是整个课程背后的理念。替换，而不是擦除。
所以，我想让你现在做的是拿起一支笔和纸，开始为你自己的毒瘾画出习惯循环。
套路很明显。这本身就是坏习惯，但提示可能有点棘手。
大多数时候都有不止一个提示。
有各种不同的情况促使我们沉溺于毒瘾，所以尽可能多地想一想，并把它们写下来。
例如，以下是我在克服自己的色情成瘾过程中写的线索列表。
如果我喝醉了，如果我觉得被拒绝了，如果睡觉前我把手机或笔记本电脑放在床上。
现在，当涉及到识别奖励时，也可能有点棘手。
首先，每一个让人上瘾的坏习惯都会导致多巴胺水平的升高，但我们必须更深入地挖掘，找出我们渴望的主要回报。
在《习惯的力量》一书中，查尔斯·杜希格审视了他每天吃饼干的坏习惯。
乍一看，你可能会想，好吧，回报可能是糖的诱惑或饥饿的满足。
但杜希格很快发现，这实际上是社交的回报，因为他会从办公桌上站起来，走到自助餐厅，在饼干旁，和同事们交谈。
他发现这一点是因为他注意到仅仅吃饼干不足以让自己满意。
他总是想要更多。
我们需要用这种对细节的关注来思考我们自己的毒瘾。
像色情这样的坏习惯可能会给你一种认可感，因为在你的大脑中，有数百个女孩想和你上床。
另一个奖励可能是帮助你入睡。
它也可能是缓解压力的东西，也可能是让你觉得自己完成了一些事情的东西。
有很多很多的可能性，真正确定回报的唯一方法是分析你自己的生活。
如果你是一个在与朋友度过了一整天的美好时光后没有手淫冲动的人，那么你上瘾的回报可能是它满足了你的社交需求。
如果你在工作中感到压力后的一天接受按摩时没有手淫的冲动，那么你对色情成瘾的奖励可能是它能缓解压力。
所以，这真的取决于你仔细思考这一部分，并假设你上瘾的回报是什么。
很可能你不会一次完成这张图表。
在接下来的一周左右，你可能会想到一些线索，并意识到这些奖励。
因此，请确保将这些内容添加到图表中，因为它将在整个课程中发挥极其重要的作用。
在我们的下一课中，我们将讨论养成一个习惯需要多长时间。
人们对此有很大的误解。
有人说这需要21天；有人说需要90天。
在大多数情况下，他们都错了。
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