我们生活在一个不受拘束的世界，越来越喧闹、暴躁、虚伪，所以我们需要有克制的能力；很少有人想要有一面镜子，照着自己的不足之处，特别是永远不要盖过上司的光芒，所以我们要有藏拙的能力；当事情没有按希望的方向发展时，会感到委屈，所以不怪罪任何人，除此之外，还有哪些超能力我们需要掌握？“Tell me where I’m going to die so I never go there.” This sentence describes a superpower few people have. It’s one I’ve only been able to exercise 10% of the time, but that 10% creates most of the positive results I get in my life. What’s the superpower? Restraint.告诉我我会死在哪儿，这样我就永远不会到那儿去。这句话描述了很少人有的一个超能力。这个超能力我也只在百分之十的时间里用到，但这百分之十给我带来了人生中大部分的好结果。这个超能力是什么？克制。Success, happiness, or whatever word you use to articulate what you want, often involves what you don’t do. Also, restraint from one action can be a springboard to a more useful one; for example, talking to listening. We live in an unrestrained world. It’s getting louder, angrier, more chaotic and pretentious. Which is why it’s the perfect time for you to behave in the exact opposite fashion and wield these superpowers few people have.成功、快乐或其它任何你想要的，都关系到你没做的事。克制住一步行动可能会促成另一步更有效的行动，比如从说话到倾听。我们生活在一个不受拘束的世界，这个世界越来越喧闹、暴躁、混乱、虚伪。这时候你最应该表现出完全相反的行为方式，锻造出这些少人拥有的超能力。 If you’re a smart person, you might have the tendency to want to show it off. You want people to know you’re smart. While there’s nothing wrong with displaying your intelligence, the costs for showing it off too much are high. People don’t like being corrected. Also, they don’t want a mirror reflected on their own inadequacy. If you’re in a work setting, follow one of Robert Greene’s 48 laws of power — never outshine the master.如果你是个聪明人，你可能想炫耀一番，你希望别人都知道你很聪明。虽然展示智慧并没有错，但太高调了就会付出代价。人人都不喜欢被纠错，也不想有一面镜子照着自己的不足之处。如果你是在工作中，听从罗伯特·格林的《权力48法则》之一吧：永远不要盖过上司的光芒。Showing up your boss is a surefire way to make the relationship contentious (even if only subtly). Showing people up in general means you lack an important type of intelligence — social intelligence. If you had social intelligence, you’d know that letting other people take the spotlight makes them feel important. And they’d connect that feeling of importance with being around you.让老板丢脸肯定是让你们的关系陷入争锋相对中，尽管不太明显。使人难堪通常说明你缺乏一种重要的智力：社交智力。如果你的社交智力没问题，你就知道让别人大显身手能让他们感到自己被看重。他们会把这种被看重的感觉归因于你的存在。Also, paraphrasing Greene again, it’s much more clever to resist the urge to display your cleverness: “move in silence… let people think you’re less intelligent than you are”. It’s difficult for me. I’m tempted to correct people when I hear them say something incorrect. I love talking about all the things I know. But, at times, I’ll catch myself and realize that nobody really wants to know how smart I am. They want to know how I can play a role in their life that benefits them. It’s almost always better to understate your intelligence than overstate it.再次解释一下格林的话，更聪明的做法是抑制住想要表现聪明的冲动：行动不声张，让人们认为你没那么聪明。这对我来说很难。当我听到别人说错了什么，我就忍不住想纠正他们。我喜欢谈论我的学识。但有时候，我会闭上嘴巴并意识到没有人真的想知道我有多聪明。他们想知道的是我如何助力于他们的人生。大部分情况下，最好少彰显你的才智。We lie to ourselves a lot. One of the main lies we tell ourselves? We think we’re open-minded. On the whole, we’re not. You’ve cobbled together an identity based on narratives. You tell yourself stories constantly and the ones you repeat often become part of your personality. You’re also prone to adopt narratives based on groups you belong to. You do this because human beings are naturally tribal animals. The problem with this occurs when you’re unable to even hold views that deviate from your group’s list of stances.我们经常对自己说谎，我们最经常说的一个谎是什么？我们认为自己是思想开明的。大体来说，我们不是。你通过讲故事，拼凑出一种身份。你总是给自己讲故事，最常讲的故事就会成为你个性的一部分。你往往会采纳你所属群体讲的故事。你之所以这样，是因为人类天生是群居动物。当你无法在群体立场中保持自己的观点时，问题就出现了。This is what you see in the political sphere right now — no one’s budging. If you’re able to form your own worldview — a legitimate one should contain elements of contradictory philosophies — you’ll have the benefit of not being a crazy person participating in mud slinging contests. It’s pretty much impossible to form an original worldview because you have to form it by picking up established narratives. Just knowing how difficult it is to form untainted beliefs gives you the humility to second guess your own opinions.这就是你目前所见政界的情况：没人让步。如果你能形成自己的世界观，一个正确的世界观应该包含矛盾哲学的元素，你就不会变成一个固执的疯子互相抹黑。形成新颖的世界观几乎不可能，因为你必须以已有的观点为基础。了解了形成纯粹的信仰有多不容易之后，你就会谦逊地对自己观点有所怀疑了。The end goal? Be able to say that you’ve put thought into which components of group narratives you decided to adopt. And then, stay out of the herd altogether. You’re going to have to sit on the sidelines while everyone else bickers. Don’t even participate in the discourse. Improve your life. At the end of the day, most of what happens in your life can be seen and shaped through the lens of your individuality. No matter what group you belong to, the experiences, memories, and emotions you have are unique to you. And, you can only genuinely look to yourself to reshape any of them.最终的目标是什么？能说出你已经考虑过你决定采纳群体故事中的哪个部分。然后远离群体。当其他人在争论不休的时候，你要在局外旁观。不要参与讨论。改善你的生活。一天结束之后，大部分发生的事都能从你的个性角度被观察和重塑。无论你属于什么群体，你的经历、记忆、情绪对于你都是独一无二的。你只能真正依靠自己去重塑它们。You want to know a great trick for letting go of other people’s opinions? Read a book about space or watch a Youtube video about it. Right now, I’m reading Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time. Here’s a passage from it: “Our sun is just one of the one hundred thousand million stars that make up our galaxy the Milky Way. The Milky Way is only one of the many galaxies in the local group. The local group, in turn, is just one of the thousands of groups and clusters of galaxies which form the largest known structures of our universe.”你想知道一个能不在意别人看法的好办法吗？看一本关于空间的书或在油管上看关于这本书的视频。现在，我在看霍金的《时间简史》。里面有这样一句话：“我们的太阳只不过是银河系中的千亿颗星星之一，银河系又是本星系群中的众多星系之一，本星系群也只是组成宇宙中已知的最大结构的上千星系群和星系团之一。”Now think of your place in that universe. Why so preoccupied about ‘what will happen’ or ‘what others’ will think when you’re already essentially dead? Because human beings are the only known species arrogant enough to place themselves at the center of the universe. I do it. You do it. But the less it’s done, though, the freer you are. That’s the thing about freedom — it’s often a consequence of what you don’t do. Once you decide to stop caring so much, it’ll allow you to do what you want. Are you going to let other people — infinitesimal pieces of existence in the expanse of the universe — stop you from living your life the way you want to live it?现在，想一下你在宇宙中的位置。你本来就没什么存在感，为什么还总是想着会发生什么或别人会怎么想呢？因为人类是已知物种中唯一傲慢到会把自己视为宇宙中心的物种。我会这样，你也会，但你越不这样，就越自由。自由就是你放弃做某些事的结果。一旦你决定不那么在意，你就能做任何事。你要让广阔宇宙中最小的存在来阻止你过你想过的生活吗？This is about taking ownership of your mind. If you don’t own your mind, someone else or circumstance will. Owning your reactions to what happens to you gives you a source of power no one can corrupt. Like most of us, I get angry when someone slights me or treats me unfairly. When situations don’t go the way I want them to, I begin feeling sorry for myself. If I’m lucky, I catch myself and focus on the role I played in the situation.这一点讲的是掌控自己的思想。如果你不掌控自己的思想，别人或者环境就会。对遇到的事有自己的做法，会给你一种无人能破坏的力量。我和大部分人一样，遭受冷落或不公平对待时会愤怒，当事情没有按我希望的方向发展时，我会感到委屈。幸运的时候，我就能稳住情绪，专注于我在事情中所扮演的角色。You’ve heard this before. It’s so cliche. Why add personal responsibility to this list? Because it’s really, really hard and goes against our nature. Also, there are times where the blame should be placed somewhere other than on yourself, but it’s often fruitless. To what degree did each of you play in the situation? Sure, you might be able to convince the person you blamed they’re wrong, but at what cost? In my life, at least, I’ve seen that forgoing the blame game is a net positive 99% of the time. Does that mean I always accept responsibility instantly? Hell no, but being able to do it even some of the time goes a long way.你也听过这样的说法了。这太普遍了。为什么个人责任也是一种超能力？因为对自己负责太难了，与人类天性相悖。有时候，过错不应该怪罪到你身上，但说再多也无益。当然，你或许能说服你责怪的那个人他们就是错的，但代价是什么呢？导致这样的处境，你们各自的责任有多少？或许你能按自己的意愿扭转乾坤，让你身边的环境变得更好，而不仅仅是自己变好，但代价又是什么呢？至少在我的人生中，我懂得不怪罪任何人百利而无一害。这意味着我通常都马上扛下责任吗？当然不，但即使扛下责任有时也难以解决问题。Have you ever been in a conversation where it’s clear no one is listening? Each person talks and the others are waiting for a millisecond of silence to jump in. This entire video has been about dialing back your tendencies. Why is that important? When you’re a little more restrained in your actions and your thoughts, you become a better observer. When you become a better observer, you realize that you can get further ahead by doing less. It’s not easy to put that idea together at first — less outward activity equaling better results — but it’s true.你是否曾经参与一场显然没有人倾听的对话？每个人讲话时，其他人都在等那千分之一秒的沉默来开口。这整个视频讲的都是改变你的行为倾向。这为什么重要呢？当你更克制你的行为和思想时，你就会成为一个更好的观察者。成为一个更好的观察者之后，你就会意识到少做事却能有大进步。外向活动越少，做事的结果越好。这乍一看是说不通的，但这是真的。If you let other people talk, listen to them, and give up your need to jump into the conversation right away, everyone will love you. People love to talk. Let them. While they talk, listen. If you really listen, they’ll give you all the information you want to know — their hopes, fears, desires, needs, likes, dislikes. Just sit there while they ‘spill the tea.’ Then, you can do little things that make them feel like you’re a great conversationalist and someone they can trust, even if you barely talk — repeat what they said back to them, ask them a question that makes them continue to talk, genuinely highlight when they bring something up you have in common. You can use this technique in a real conversation or the conversation — the zeitgeist, blogs, and social media. Don’t jump in the debate. Watch it while everyone reveals their cards.如果你让别人来讲，你来倾听，不急着开口说话，每个人都会喜欢你。人人都喜欢讲话。让他们来讲。他们讲话的时候，你倾听。如果你认真听，他们会告诉你所有你想知道的信息，包括他们的希望、恐惧、欲望、需求和喜恶。他们说闲话的时候，你就坐在那里。然后，你可以做一些动作，让他们觉得即便你很少说话，你也是个很好的交谈对象，是个值得信任的人。比如，重复他们说过的话，问一个能让他们继续说下去的问题，当他们提起你们的共同点时要强调一番。你可以把这个技巧用到真正的交流中或者用到畅谈时代精神时，或博客、社交媒体上。别急着参与讨论。在每个人暴露自己的时候认真看着。别被欲望操纵。Books like Think and Grow Rich teach you to have an ultimate desire for wealth to get it. If you like to read about business and self-improvement like me, you see Facebook ads on “how to start a six-figure business in real estate” etc. Ambition can be good and necessary. But it can also be poisonous. When I focus too much on results — output — writing becomes less fun. It starts to feel like work.像《思考致富》这样的书教你对财富要有极度的渴望，才能得到它。如果你像我一样喜欢读有关商业或自我提升的书，去看看脸书上关于"如何在房地产领域开展六位数的业务"等广告。有雄心壮志是好事也很有必要，但可能也有害。当我太关注结果，或说是输出时，写作就没那么有趣了。它变得像工作。When I write what I think you want to watch and start to pander because of a desire for clicks, the work suffers. Every time I do something I don’t really want to do because I think it will help me get something I desire, I feel bad, misaligned and incongruent. The only times I’ve ever succeeded and felt good were bi-products of doing the work I enjoyed doing.当我写我认为你们想看的内容，开始为了点击率而投其所好时，写作就变味了。每次我因为想满足自己的欲望而做一些我并不想做的事时，我都感觉违背了自己。让我真的为成功而感到高兴的都是我做自己喜欢做的事的时候。How about you? What status games are you playing right now? What objects and circumstances are you lusting over? Are you being controlled by a desire for the output or the need to do the input? I have to remind myself constantly that I can be happy with what I have this second. And, even if my life gets better outwardly, I’ll adjust to it quickly and begin running on the hamster wheel all over again. Better to just do the things I love, right now, and forget about the future.你呢？你在玩什么博弈呢？你的目标物和目标位置是什么？你也在被对结果的渴望或输入的需要所控制吗？我不得不时常提醒自己我能对当下所拥有的一切感到满足了。即便我的生活表面上看越来越好，我也会尽快适应它，并重新开始踏上跑道。现在，最好就去做我喜欢的事，不去想未来。Imagine a society where everyone tended to their own well-being first before shouting into the sky about the government or what’s on the news? What if we stopped watching the news altogether? If we did that, we’d realize — while things are nowhere near perfect — the sky isn’t falling. You can probably see this in your own life. The things we tend to take seriously at a high level, for example, will we go to war with ‘x’, have little to do with what’s going on at the ground level, otherwise known as our actual life. I stopped reading the news and going on Twitter all the time. It’s not real life.想象一个社会里，所有人都先为自己的幸福着想，然后再关心政府或新闻事件。如果我们全都不看新闻了，会怎么样？如果我们真这样了，我们会发现，虽然事事都不完美，天也不会塌下来。你或许能在生活中看到，我们非常关心的大事，比如国家是否会和“X”交战，和日常生活状况，即我们的现实生活，并无多大关系。我不再看新闻了，也不经常上推特。那都不是现实生活。I realized I was getting riled up over nothing. Also, even if the situations were as dire as I thought, my tweets weren’t going to fix the situation. All the while there were plenty of things in my own life that needed tending to. Get out of the outrage, ‘if it bleeds it leads’, machine right now. It’s not worth your sanity.我发现，我不再为什么事而生气了。同时，即便真的有危急情况，我的推特也救不了我。一直以来，我的生活中有许多需要认真对待的事。现在，摆脱机械化的对“只要能见红，就能上头条”的愤怒。它不值得你认真。Then, even in your own life, try to stop taking everything so seriously. Focus on your career, but don’t make your career your life. Be prudent, save, budget, but don’t become a worry wart. Spend time with your friends and family without worrying much about anything beyond them. From the perspective of the universe, you’re dead. Clutching on the steering wheel of life gives you the illusion you have control. Just live.即便在生活中，尽量不要对任何事都较真。关注你的职业，但别把职业当生活。节俭一点，但别自寻烦恼。花时间陪你的家人朋友，别去烦恼别的事。我说过很多次了，从宇宙的角度，你几乎不存在。紧紧抓住人生的方向盘，会让你错以为你掌控了它。事实上，你没有。好好生活。
