我一直以来都很想读这本书，大概这本书的书名也已经解释了大部分的原因，所以这次就很想趁这个共读的机会来看一看这本书里到底有什么。
这一期报名的人数虽然还是个位数，但是却是有史以来人最多的一次。 这也让我发现原来不单单是我，还有无数的人都在寻找“被讨厌的勇气”。
害怕孤独、害怕不合群、害怕被孤立，渴望关系，渴望连结，渴望被爱被理解，这都是我们最基本的需求，太正常不过了。但问题是，大多数人宁愿放弃自己的个性，去迎合、去假装，用虚幻的友谊、亲情和爱情来满足自己的这些需求。
阅读这本书，也是我想和大家一起向内探索自己，直面自己所有的痛苦和渴望，接纳自己所有的想法和个性，重获爱自己做自己的勇气。我们相信自己，相信自己因为我是我而被无条件地爱着，也相信他人，相信他们在用自己的智慧走自己要走的路。
具体来说，我会期待这本书在以下三点上给我一些启发：
The courage to be myself
I’ve been working so hard to be recognized, to follow expectations held by other people who want me to be “this kind of person”, but I throw away who I really are and become a people pleaser and live other people’s lives.
I guess that’s because of my need for belongings, my need to connect and feel that I am accepted by those around me. And even though it’s nice to feel that I belong somewhere and that people love and approve of me, if these things are acquired at the price of losing my true identity, they aren’t really worth having.
I want people to love me for who I truly are, and not for something I pretend to be. Each and every one of us is unique and special in our own way. I’m not living to satisfy other people’s expectations, and other people aren’t living to satisfy my expectations.
All I want to do with regard to my own life is to be myself and to choose the best path that I believe in.
The courage to be happy
It’s hard to believe that I am unable to be happy only because I am making the decision not to, I am held back by the old but familiar experience. But if I think that my past determines my present, I end up with determinism; my future has already been decided by my past. Whereas, in "Adlerian psychology", we don’t think about past causes, but rather about present goals.
I mean it’s a lot to me to deny trauma and say past experience doesn’t matter, but I do want to live in liberation from all the false stories of my own minds and of the culture in which I live. When I choose a new lifestyle, no one can predict what might happen to my new self or have any idea how to deal with events as they arise. It will be hard to see ahead the future, and my life might be painful and filled with anxiety, but I still choose to change and choose to be happy.
The courage to be normal
When I am trying to be especially good, I am trying to attract the attention of other people, to be liked, to seek the approval of others. But what’s the point to live your life only wanting to get to the mountaintop but ignoring how life really is in each and every moment?
This is something I need to remind myself every day. I am doing what I am doing is neither because I am trying to be accepted, liked or admired nor I am trying to be special, to get out the “normal” condition. Doing itself is the goal, I shouldn’t be concerned with arriving somewhere by doing it. I can arrive somewhere as a result of doing, but there is no particular destination. For example, the goal of writing is the writing itself, not getting at the top.
All I want to do is find fulfillment in the here and now, not someone special in the future or someone miserable in the past.
你呢，为什么你想要阅读这本书？你期待在这本书里读到什么，获得什么改变？欢迎在共读期间分享你的想法💡
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