25年1月21日昆明市高三统测读后续写写作评析

In the beautiful town Riverview, surrounded by rolling hills, lived two brothers, Jack and Tom.

They were as different as night and day—Jack, the older by two years, was a keen reader with a preference for quiet moments spent in academic books, his nose often buried in the pages of historical texts or scientific journals. Compared with him, Tom was totally different, full of energy and enthusiasm, always longing for the outdoors. He found joy that came from playing soccer and basketball. The differences between them often led to arguments, creating a gap that seemed impossible to bridge.

One summer, their parents, hoping to mend the growing divide between them, decided to send them on a camping trip in the nearby Blue Ridge Mountains. They thought that the fresh mountain air, coupled with outdoor activities, would bring them closer.

Unwillingly, the two brothers packed their bags, each secretly hoping that the other would give up at the last minute. But neither did, and soon enough, they found themselves setting up camp under a canopy (顶篷) of twinkling stars, the cool night breeze whispering through the trees.

The first few days were tense. They quarrelled over insignificant matters—who should carry the water bottle, who got to choose the music during meals, and whose turn it was to gather firewood. Their unpleasant quarrel echoed (回响) through the quiet forest, breaking the peace that enveloped them. Each disagreement seemed to widen the crack between them until one evening when things took a dramatic turn.

A sudden storm rolled in. The wind howled through the trees, and rain began to pour. In the disorder of securing the tent and gathering supplies to prevent them from getting wet, Tom slipped on a muddy path and hurt his ankle badly. Struggling with extreme pain, he knew that he had to turn to the campsite medical tent.

Paragraph 1: Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately.

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Paragraph 2: As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip.

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在风景如画的 Riverview 小镇，住着两兄弟 Jack 和 Tom。他们性格截然不同——哥哥 Jack 热爱阅读，喜欢安静地沉浸在书本中，而弟弟 Tom 精力充沛，热衷于户外运动。两人的差异导致频繁争吵，关系逐渐疏远。

一个夏天，父母希望他们能和解，便特意安排他们去 Blue Ridge Mountains 露营。然而，旅途伊始，他们因琐事争执不断，使得紧张关系加剧。直到一场突如其来的暴风雨袭来，Tom 在湿滑的小路上摔伤脚踝，痛苦难忍，急需前往营地医疗帐篷求助……

主要人物：Tom、Jack

次要人物：parents

叙事视角：第三人称视角

故事主题：成长与和解（growth & reconciliation） 、兄弟关系（sibling relationship）

第一段，考生应该主要写两个主要人物之间的互动。具体的说，Jack在看到自己的弟弟Tom受伤后做出的举动（安慰的话语和动作、医疗协助等）以及Tom的反应。由于原文中明确提到了“dramatic turn”，在这段续写中一定要明确提到兄弟开始和解（或者已经和解）。

第二段，考生可以沿着“complete the camping trip”写下去。比如，可以设置兄弟二人合作收拾营地、Jack协助弟弟Tom安全返回家中。本着不遗漏次要人物的原则，到家之后，应该给到parents一定的戏份。最后，稍微升华主题，往兄弟关系或者矛盾与和解主题上靠一靠就很不错了。

Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately. Without hesitation, he rushed to Tom’s side, wrapping an arm around him. “Lean on me,” he said with concern.（肢体动作和语言结合）Slowly, they made their way through the rain-soaked path to the medical tent. Jack shielded Tom from the storm, ignoring the mud. The staff examined Tom’s ankle and assured them it was only a sprain.（非必要不增加新人物戏份，把医护人员称之为medical staff即可）Relieved, Jack stayed by his side, fetching water and ensuring his comfort. For the first time in years, their arguments were replaced by quiet understanding.（明确提到转变为彻底和解铺路）That night, as the storm passed, Jack realized how much he had taken his brother for granted. (96 words)

As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip. With Tom unable to walk properly, Jack took on most responsibilities—gathering firewood, preparing meals, and carrying Tom’s bag.（刻意和原文概念互动）In return, Tom cheered him on, laughing at his clumsy attempts  Slowly, the gap between them shrank.（矛盾在笑声中进一步和解）On their final night, they reminisced around the campfire, their laughter echoing through the forest.（彻底转变）When they returned home, their parents noticed a change—not just in attitude but in their bond.（次要人物也别写漏，给到一点点戏份）The trip had done more than bring them closer. The dramatic turn had transformed them from rivals into true brothers.（自然提炼主题） (90 words)

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