What’s the Hurry? 那么着急干什么？

文摘 2024-08-01 16:59 上海

I am now in Paris, France, for the Olympics with my husband.

In case you think highly of us, we are here as spectators, not participants - but thank you.

I’ve mentioned often in this column that, unlike the rest of my family members, I am not sporty.

My greatest sporting achievement was running a half marathon in Singapore back in the Year 2004.

Yes, that’s right. 21 kilometres of heart-bursting, out-of-breath, almost dying pain that doesn’t seem to end.

Before you go “wow”, let me quickly clarify that I had a motive.

You see, I was dead sure that my then-boyfriend was planning to propose to me at the finishing line when he invited me – a sedentary bookworm - to do the race with him.

Something had to be brewing.

He knew I don’t do sports…

Perhaps…?

Or so I thought.

In the end, not only was there no proposal, but my legs hurt for months as I hadn't stopped to rest throughout the race.

My entire motivation had been to get to the finishing line as fast as my un-muscular legs could take me.

Since then, running and placing hopes too high have left me with a shameful trauma I am still trying to heal from.

Running for a motive, Year 2004.

For sports fanatics, this once every four years Olympic event is a mega huge deal.

I get it.

It’s the same electrifying buzz I feel when my favourite author publishes a new book or when I’m about to watch a highly anticipated musical performance.

My medley of buzzes also extends to visiting a country and learning about the local’s lifestyles, habits and cultures.

And this is what truly intrigues me the most: The French way of life.

B.C (before China), I worked for two French companies in Singapore.

One was an outdoor advertising company, and the other was a fashion and beauty brand.

The outdoor advertising company taught me the discipline of minimalism and that sexy is both a verb and a noun.

Whenever my French boss saw a client’s advertisement that was uncluttered in design with a clever tagline of no more than five words, he would mouth,

“Oui, sexy.”

The fashion and beauty brand taught me to appreciate vintage designs and the art of having a long leisurely lunch.

My first work trip to Paris was a culture shock when my French colleagues took me to lunches that lasted over two hours.

Work discussion took up 10% of that time, while the rest were chatting about…life, mainly in French - a language foreign to me.

The whole time I was sitting there, I was fidgeting in my chair worrying that my boss would crucify me if she found out I was idling away with a glass of wine past the stipulated one-hour lunchtime we were allowed in Singapore.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about as my boss was having a grand time herself with the French management team.

Paris Olympics: Women's Beach Volleyball. China vs Australia

Paris Olympics: Tennis men's doubles Spain's Carlos Alcaraz and Rafael Nadal (left) vs Argentina's Andres Molteni and Maximo Gonzalez

Paris Olympics: Women's Street Skateboarding featuring some of the youngest Olympians ever.

Sometimes I wonder if China’s super efficiency has turned us into spoilt brats.

Take the dining experience in Shanghai.

From the time we arrive to the time we leave, we are rarely left high and dry.

If the wait is unusually long (by China’s impossible standards), we can always turn into a "Karen" to make sure our complaints are heard.

You can be sure an apologetic manager will appear like lightning for service recovery and be at our hands and feet throughout the entire dining experience.

Try this in Paris.

Complain about any waiting time and you will be left higher, drier and starved-er.

I have learned that in France and many places in Europe, never wait till you’re ravenous to dine, especially if you’re like me and need to eat NOW when you're hungry.

A hungry beast is highly dangerous.

Your best bet will be going to an Asian restaurant that has no concept of appetizer, entrée and dessert.

Everything is served TOGETHER and fast.

Isn’t that marvellous?

When we are starving, we want to see ALL our food on the table.

But seriously, this made me ponder.

Why are Asians always hurrying?

For what? For where? For whom?

During the Olympic weekend, the sun peeked out after two days of heavy downpour.

It was a beautiful day, finally.

People were sitting at cafes watching other people.

Some brought picnic mats to lay on the grass to read a book.

Friends and family gathered to chat and spend simple moments together.

Under French labour law, every employee is entitled to 30 days of annual leave, and if they are uncontactable during their vacation, that’s perfectly understandable.

People-watching in the streets of Paris.

Is our Asian culture of hard work and super efficiency costing our lives and our health?

Since childhood, we have been inculcated in the frivolity of wasting time and the need to grind to get ahead from the time we start school till the day we die.

Leaving us with little room for play and spending time with people who matter to us most.

Imagine ourselves at the end of our life’s journey.

Are the choices we make today closer or further from our inner truths and peace?

If not, there is still time for repair and restart.

Oh, if you must know, my boyfriend didn’t propose to me until a year later after my first (and last) half marathon.

When I asked him why it took him so long, he replied,

“What’s the hurry?”

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Chinese translation & Layout: Yan Yan

Illustrator: Ang Rei. Proofread: Ang Rei & John Meng

我现在和丈夫在法国巴黎参加奥运会。

如果您对我们刮目相看，那我想告诉你，我们是以观众的身份来参加奥运会的，并非以运动员的身份，但是还是要谢谢你。

如果你经常关注我的话，你就会明白我与其他家庭成员的不同，我不喜欢运动。

我最伟大的运动成就是在2004年新加坡参加了一次半程马拉松。

没错，这是真的！

21 公里的赛道快让我的心脏爆裂、喘不过气来，感觉几乎濒临死亡，而漫长的赛道让我觉得这种痛苦似乎没有尽头。

在你们“哇”的一声惊叹之前，请允许我迅速澄清，我是有动机才这么做的。

你看，当时还是我的男朋友，邀请我——一个久坐不动的书呆子，和他一起参加比赛时，我深信不疑地认为他打算在终点向我求婚。

他一定在酝酿些什么。

他知道我不喜欢运动......

也许......？

但这仅仅是我的畅想。

最后，不但没有求婚，我的腿还因此疼了好几个月，因为我在整个比赛过程中根本没有停下来休息过。

我的全部动力就是用我那已经感知不到肌肉的双腿尽可能以最快的速度冲向终点。

从那时起，跑步和设立过高的期待给我留下了严重的创伤，至今我仍在努力治愈。

2004年，带着某个“动机”的跑步

对于体育迷来说，这项每四年一度的奥运会盛事意义非凡。

我明白这种意义。

当我最喜欢的作家出版新书时，或者当我即将观看一场万众期待的音乐演出时，我也会有同样的兴奋之感。

同时混杂在我心里的兴奋感还包括访问一个国家，了解当地人的生活方式、习惯和文化。

而这正是最吸引我的地方：法国人的生活方式。

在中国工作之前，我曾在新加坡的两家法国公司工作过。

一家是户外广告公司，另一家是时尚美容品牌。

户外广告公司教会了我“极简主义”，同时也教会了我“性感”这个词既是动词也是名词。

每当我的法国老板看到客户的广告设计简洁明了，标语巧妙，并且不超过五个字，他就会说：

“Oui，这很性感"。

这个时尚和美容品牌教会我欣赏复古设计和悠闲享用午餐的艺术。

我第一次去巴黎工作时，法国同事带我去吃了两个多小时的午餐，这对我来说是一次文化冲击。

工作讨论的内容占了10%，其余的时间都在聊...生活，而且主要是用法语交流——一门我不懂的外语。

整个午餐过程我都坐在椅子上，但我坐立不安，担心老板知道我在新加坡规定的一小时午餐时间后还在喝着酒，会把我钉在十字架上。

事实证明，我根本不用担心，因为我的老板自己正和法国管理团队玩得不亦乐乎。

巴黎奥运会：女子沙滩排球

中国对澳大利亚

巴黎奥运会：男子网球双打

西班牙的卡洛斯·阿尔卡拉斯和拉斐尔·纳达尔（左）vs 阿根廷的安德烈斯·莫尔特尼和马克西莫·冈萨雷斯

巴黎奥运会：女子街式滑板比赛

汇集了有史以来较年轻的奥运选手

有时我在想，中国的超高效率是否把我们变成了娇生惯养的孩子。

就拿在上海用餐的经历来说吧。

从到达起到离开的那一刻，顾客很少被晾在一旁。

如果等待时间异常漫长（按照中国不可能达到的标准），我们可以随时成为大妈，以确保我们发的牢骚被听到。

可以肯定的是，一位满怀歉意的经理会闪电般地出现，为我们恢复服务，并在整个用餐过程中不离不弃。

在巴黎试试这个。

如果你对任何等待时间提出抱怨，你就会被晾得更狠，变得更饿。

在法国和欧洲许多地方，我学到了一个道理，那就是千万不要等到饥肠辘辘时再用餐，尤其是像我这样饿了就要马上吃东西的人。

饥饿的野兽是非常危险的。

你的最佳选择是去一家没有开胃菜、主菜和甜点概念的亚洲餐厅。

所有的菜都是一起上的，而且速度很快。

这是不是非常棒？

当我们饥肠辘辘时，我们希望看到所有的食物都摆上餐桌。

但说真的，这让我陷入了沉思。

为什么亚洲人总是匆匆忙忙？

为了什么？为了哪儿？为了谁？

奥运周末期间，连续两天的大雨过后，太阳刚刚露出头来。

终于变成了好天气。

人们坐在咖啡馆里看着其他人。

有些人带着野餐垫，躺在草地上看书。

朋友和家人聚在一起聊天，度过简单又平凡的时光。

根据法国劳动法，每位员工都有权享受30天的年假，如果在休假期间联系不上员工，这是完全可以理解的。

巴黎街头人文观察

我们亚洲人勤奋工作、注重高效的文化是否会让我们的生活和健康付出代价？

从小到大，我们就被灌输了浪费时间可耻的观念，以及从上学期间到死都要拼命出人头地的必要性。

我们几乎没有空去玩耍，也没有时间去陪伴对我们来说最重要的人。

让我们想象一下自己在人生旅程的终点。

我们今天所做的选择离我们内心的真理和平和是更近了还是更远了？

如果没有，我们还有时间去修复和重新开始。

‍

哦，如果你一定要知道的话，我的男朋友直到我第一次（也是最后一次）参加半程马拉松比赛后一年才向我求婚。

当我问他为什么花了这么长时间的时候，他回答说：

“那么着急干什么？”

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