Leaving Shanghai 告别

文摘 2024-07-25 17:00 上海

《〈《向左滑动阅读中文版本

Editor's note:

Summer is the season of hellos and goodbyes as we welcome new families and bid farewell to friends who are leaving.

Alan takes us on a journey spanning 15 years as an American expat as he reflects on his time in Shanghai.

He and his family will begin their new adventure in New York City, USA.

I love how the Chinese never say goodbye. Instead, they say "再见" which means "See you again".

If your family is leaving Shanghai and embarking on a new adventure this summer too, do 打包 all your memories, have a safe journey and 再见!

eve wee-ang

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Alan and family, July 2024. Photographer: Jessica Chu

“Remember Sadness, wherever I go, you go too.” - Joy，

Inside Out 2

In the movie Inside Out 2, emotions within the human mind are personified as their host navigates life.

In one scene, Sadness asks Joy if she could accompany her to a deeper part of the brain, prompting Joy to respond with the quote above.

It is a profound reminder that Joy and Sadness are not opposing emotions, but often coexist through many life experiences.

Reflecting on the end of my 15 years as an American expat in Shanghai, these are the emotions that stand out the most.

———

In 2003, I left New York City for central Henan province to teach English to university students, eager to step outside my comfort zone and experience my ancestral homeland of China.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, some fellow foreign teachers and I visited Shanghai for the first time.

Upon arrival, as our taxi rounded a corner on the Yan’an elevated highway, the majestic Lujiazui skyline (primarily the Pearl and Jin Mao Towers at the time) took my breath away.

Over the weekend, I was captivated by the city's vibrance, energy, and diversity.

The expat community and international influences were everywhere.

After three months in a small town, I was more excited to see Dr Pepper and Cool Ranch Doritos (remember City Shop?) than one ever should be.

Shanghai was one of the most modern and exciting cities I’d ever been to, and that remains true over 20 years later.

Alan’s first trip to Shanghai - 2003

Fast forward to 2009: with a fresh wedding band on my finger, my new wife and I quit our stable Manhattan jobs, sold our belongings, and moved to Shanghai with nothing but a desire to experience life there.

Now, almost exactly 15 years later, we are saying goodbye to the city we've called home for nearly one-third of our lives.

It's where we've birthed and raised our children, built our careers, and grown into who we are today.

As fellow Shanghai residents, you know how quickly change happens in this city.

Almost weekly, there's a new restaurant or an attraction to visit.

During our time here, BOGO Monday Burger Nights at Blue Frog have been replaced by Charlies and Goodman Burger.

We can now indulge in Homeslice or Joe’s instead of resorting to the 'only-when-desperate' New York Style Pizza.

From the 5 subway lines during my first visit, to 9 when we arrived in 2009, and now to 45 (could be less, I’ve lost count) as we leave.

From bikes and scooter batteries being stolen regularly to being able to forget my keys in my scooter ignition and knowing they’ll be there when I return.

Alan & Daisy in Shanghai - 2007

———

Just a few of my Best and Worst Things About Living in Shanghai:

Best

Community - Living in a foreign land cultivates a community like nothing else.

If a community is "doing life together," the expat community in Shanghai exemplifies it.

We rely on each other for comfort, advice, food recommendations, internet workarounds, how and where to get things done, and travel tips.

The list is endless.

I pray that our next destination will provide a community that comes even close to what we’ve had here in Shanghai and I thank you for being ours.

Some of the communities that have made Shanghai home for us

Safety - When I first arrived in New York City in 2009, I instinctively peeked over my shoulder when walking at night and avoided dark, lonely streets.

Now, as we head back to the U.S., I worry that I will forget to do these things where it is necessary.

Many of you will agree when I say I’ll likely never live in a safer place than Shanghai.

Convenience - I’ve lived most of my adult life in Manhattan and Shanghai.

I could find a corner Bodega or a Lawson steps from my door, 24 hours a day.

About 10 years ago, Taobao and Eleme became verbs, and since then, I haven’t stepped inside a supermarket.

Alipay and WeChat pay still blow my mind.

Scooters and massages - I love my scooter and massages. End of sentence.

Worst

There are things about every culture or place that will frustrate even the best of us.

But the positives of living here have outweighed the negatives so I’ll name a few and put a positive spin on them.

You’ll love China if you love:

- The soothing sounds of drilling. No matter which apartment, it always sounds like it’s the one right above yours. And somehow they always seem to know when you’re taking a nap or on a Zoom meeting.

- Humid, grey, winter cold that seeps into your bones and stays there until April. Or plum rains that Just. Don’t. Stop.

- Ashtray-scented Didi car rides.

- Saying goodbye.

By far, the worst thing about living in a transient city like Shanghai is saying goodbye to people when they move away—or saying goodbye when it’s your turn to go.

———

For most expats, there's an expiration date on our time in China.

Some know when that is, while others don't.

A parent might get sick, a job could unexpectedly end, or sometimes, it's just the right time to leave.

Circumstances have aligned, and the right windows have opened and closed, signalling that now is the right time.

We leave with both joy and sadness, and that feels just right.

We'll miss it dearly, and for that, I am thankful.

Because the sadness we feel about leaving is only possible due to the joy we experienced while we were here.

Alan and family, July 2024. Photographer: Jessica Chu

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Chinese translation & Layout: Yan Yan

Illustrator: Ang Rei. Proofread: Eve Wee-Ang & John Meng

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编辑寄语:

夏天，是一个交织着相遇和离别的特殊季节。

在这个季节里，我们满心欢喜地迎接新家庭的到来，同时又满怀不舍地向那些即将离开的朋友挥手告别。

Alan带我们踏上了一段长达15年的旅程，讲述他作为一名美国侨民在上海的经历，并回顾了那段时光。

后面他和他的家人将在美国纽约开始他们新的冒险之旅。

我喜欢中国人从不说goodbye。相反，他们会说 “再见”，意思是 “再会”。

如果你的家人这个夏天也要离开上海并开启新的冒险，那就打包好你所有的回忆，一路平安，再见！

汪黄美玲

2024年7月份Alan和他的家人拍摄者: Jessica Chu

“记住，忧忧，无论我走到哪里，你也会跟到哪里。”——喜喜《头脑特工队2》

在电影《逃出生天2》中，人类大脑中的情绪被人格化了，它们的宿主在生活中游刃有余。

在一个场景中，忧忧问喜喜是否可以陪她去大脑的更深处，喜喜回答说："可以。

这深刻地提醒着我们，快乐和悲伤并非对立的情绪，而是常常在许多人生经历中共存。

回想起我作为一名美国侨民在上海的15年结束之时，这些是最突出的情绪。

——

2003年，我离开纽约市前往河南中部，在那里教大学生英语，因为我渴望走出舒适区，体验我的祖国——中国。

在感恩节的周末，我和一些外籍老师第一次去了上海。

到达后，当我们的出租车在延安高架公路的拐角处转弯时，壮观的陆家嘴天际线（主要是当时的东方明珠和金茂大厦）让我无法呼吸。

当年在这个周末，我被这座城市的活力和多样性迷住了。

在上海外籍人士的社区和国际社会的影响无处不在。

在一个小镇上呆了三个月后，我非常兴奋地看到了胡椒博士和多力多滋的玉米片（还记得城市商店吗？）比任何一个都要好。

上海是我去过的最现代、最令人兴奋的城市之一，20多年后仍然是如此。

Alan第一次来上海是在2003年

快进到2009年：手指上有了新的结婚戒指，我和新婚妻子辞去了曼哈顿的工作，卖掉了我们的东西，搬到了上海，只想体验那里的生活。

现在，几乎15年过去了，我们即将告别这个我们称之为家的城市。

这是我们生命中将近三分之一的时间里所生活的地方。

在这里，我们养育了孩子，建立了自己的事业，并成长为今天的我们。

作为上海的居民，你知道这个城市的变化有多快。几乎每周，都有一个新餐厅尝试或吸引人们去打卡。

在我们居住期间，蓝蛙的汉堡之夜已经被Charlies和Goodman取代。

现在我们可以享受Homeslice或Joe's，而不必勉强选择“只在万不得已时才吃”的其他纽约披萨。

从我第一次参观时的5条地铁线路，到2009年到达时的9条，现在到我们离开时的45条（可能数少了，但我已经数不过来了）。

从自行车和摩托车电池经常会被偷，到如今我可以把钥匙忘在摩托车上，但是我回来时它们依然会在那里。

Alan 和 Daisy 2007 年在上海

——

这是我生活在上海的一些最好和最糟糕的事情：

最好的。

社区——生活在异国他乡所培养出的社区是独一无二的。

如果社区意味着一起生活，上海的外籍社区就是最好的例证。

我们互相依赖，以寻求安慰、生活建议、食物建议、网络解决方案、各种事情的办理方式和地点，以及各种旅行建议。

这个名单是无穷无尽的。

我祈祷我们的下一个目的地能有一个哪怕是接近我们在上海所拥有的社区，感谢你们成为我们的一员。

一些社区已经让上海成为了我们的家

安全——2009年我刚到纽约市时，我在晚上散步时本能地回头看看，并且会避开黑暗、孤独的街道。

现在，当我们回到美国时，我担心的是，我会忘记在实际必要的地方做这些事情。

可能我永远也不会住在比上海更安全的地方。

方便——我成年后的大部分时间都住在曼哈顿和上海。

我在门口几步远的地方就能找到一个街角小店或者罗森便利店，并且一天 24 小时营业。

大约 10 年前，“淘宝”和“饿了么”成了动词，从那以后，我就再也没进过超市。

支付宝和微信支付仍然让我感到不可思议。

滑板车和按摩器——我喜欢我的滑板车和按摩器。

好了，结束掉这个部分。

最差的。

每一种文化或每一个地方都有一些事情，即使是我们当中最出色的人也会感到沮丧。

但在这里生活的积极方面远远超过了消极方面，所以我会列举一些，并从积极的角度来阐述它们。

如果你爱上中国，你就会爱上中国的：

-“舒缓”的钻孔声音。不管是哪间公寓，听起来总是就在你的楼上。不知怎么的，他们似乎总是知道你什么时候午睡或参加Zoom会议。

- 潮湿、灰暗、冬季的寒冷直渗骨髓，一直会持续到四月。而且还有那没完没了的梅雨。

- 充满烟灰缸味的滴滴打车行程。

- 最后一个是说再见。

到目前为止，生活在像上海这样的流动人口众多的城市，最糟糕的事情就是当别人搬走时跟他们道别——或者轮到你离开时跟大家道别。

——

对大多数外籍人士来说，我们在中国的时间都有一个期限。

有些人知道什么时候，而有些人不知道。

父母可能会生病，工作可能会意外结束，或者有些时候，现在就是离开的好时机。

情况已经明朗，表明现在正是恰当的时间离开。

我们带着快乐和悲伤离开了，这感觉很好。

我们将非常怀念它，为此，我很感激。

因为我们对于离开所感受到的悲伤，是由于我们在这里时所经历的快乐才产生。

2024年7月Alan和家人摄影师: Jessica Chu

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