兴烘掀、掀烘兴
Top Takes Bottom, Bottom Takes Top
貌美娘子恶丑郎，犄角獠牙配浓妆。
鸳鸯盾里成双对，滚落红尘把命偿。
A beauty weds a beast so vile,
With horns and fangs, a facade's sweet guile.
In love's embrace, they form a pair,
Rolling in the haze, many lives they ensnare.
这个故事，是听许司徒说的，
昔年，许司徒因嫌夫人规矩周正，无甚闺房之乐，便讨了个泼辣貌美的小妾。
这小妾脾气十分大，对许司徒总是颐指气使，对正房夫人也从不敬畏若有人拿礼法与她说事，她便将来者一通笑骂，只将人搞得灰头土脸才罢休。
偏许司徒觉得这般有趣，便处处让着小妾，对她十分宠爱。
这日，许司徒回京述职，怕马车遭遇盗匪打劫，雇了一艘大船，将财物家人仆役同时带回京城。
夜里，船上忽起打斗之声，原是有个妖魔，摸黑上了他们的船。
不久，真就有个头长犄角，獠牙参差的怪人走将进来。
他腰上别着一块破布，左手持一口锅形刺盾，右手一柄铁鞭，凶恶地盯着众人。
许司徒和夫人怕得瑟瑟发抖，唯有那小妾昂然不惧，大声呵斥妖魔无礼。
那妖魔愣了半晌，忽然叹道:“化作人也如此娇纵，不愧是我们夜叉。”
小妾变色道:“放你的屁!我原想多玩些时日，如今被你坏了好事。罢了罢了，只好杀个干净，一起走了罢。”
这才摇身一变，竟化作与那妖魔一样的容貌身形。
许司徒这才明白，自己识错了人，竟招了个妖怪到家里。
他两个正待要杀许司徒众人时，忽闻有个女声响起:“你们夜叉国虽灭了，流落至东土，也不该这般没规矩，不如随我入山修行罢。”
他两个还想反抗，就见船头落下个女子，手里持一柄宝扇，尽力一扇，就将他们控在风中不可动弹。
许司徒经过这场虚惊，从此再也不敢纳妾了。
This story was told by Minster Xu.
Years ago, Xu, dissatisfied with his wife's strict adherence to propriety and her lack of warmth in the chamber, took a fiery and beautiful concubine.
This concubine had a terrible temper, often bossing Xu around and showing no respect for the lady of the house. If anyone tried to talk her into adhering to manners and propriety, she would laugh and curse them until they left in disgrace. Yet, Xu found this amusing and indulged her in every way, spoiling her with affection.
One day, Xu was returning to the capital to report on his duties. Fearing that their carriage might be attacked by bandits, he hired a large boat to transport his family, servants, and belongings back to the capital. That night, the sound of fighting suddenly erupted on the boat. It turned out that a yaoguai had sneaked aboard under the cover of darkness. Soon, a terrifying figure with horns and jagged teeth appeared. He wore a tattered cloth around his waist, held a pot-shaped shield in his left hand, and wielded an iron whip in his right, glaring menacingly at everyone.
Xu and his wife trembled in fear, but the concubine stood tall and unafraid, loudly scolding the yaoguai for his rudeness. The yaoguai was taken aback for a moment, then sighed and said, "Even in human form, you are so arrogant. Truly, you are one of us, a Yaksha."
The concubine burst into laughter and said, "Nonsense! I intended to play for a while longer, but now you've ruined everything. Fine, let's kill them all and leave together." With that, she transformed into a creature identical to the yaoguai.
Xu finally realized that he had brought a yaoguai into his home.
Just as the two yaoguais were about to kill Xu and his family, a female voice rang out, "Even though your kingdom has fallen and you were forced to seek shelter in the east, you should not behave so rudely. Why not follow me into the mountains for your practice?" Just when the two yaoguais were ready to resist, a woman descended onto the bow of the boat, holding a precious fan. With a powerful wave of the fan, she immobilized them in the wind.
After this terrifying experience, Xu never dared to take another concubine.
