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《玫瑰的故事》这部剧简直是全民热议，火到我六七十岁的老妈都在追剧，甚至还二刷or三刷。我回到老家，妈妈一见面就跟我侃侃而谈这部剧，她说特别喜欢黄亦玫，说她是新时代女性的标杆。我们聊着聊着就探讨起恋爱和“恋爱脑”的区别。妈妈一脸认真地说：“应该像黄亦玫一样，不爱了就拜拜，不要在错误里挣扎 ...” 。她觉得人可以在爱情和婚姻中犯错，但要及时止损，不要浪费自己的青春。这话对现代女性来说真是醍醐灌顶。家里不仅我妈妈都喜欢这部剧，我十二岁的女儿也追着看。所以我也决定”蹭个热点“，选一个角度写写自己的看法，跟身边的女性朋友们共勉。
Love is Worth Pursuing, But Avoid the “Love Brain”“The Story of Rose” has taken the world by storm, to the point where even my sixty-something mother is hooked, having watched it multiple times. When I visited home, the first thing she did was talk about this series. She absolutely loves Huang Yimei, seeing her as a role model for modern women. Our conversation quickly turned to the differences between being in love and having a “love brain.” My mom, with a serious face, said, “We should be like Huang Yimei: if the love is gone, just move on. Don’t struggle in a mistake…” She believes that people can make mistakes in love and marriage, but it’s crucial to know when to let go and not waste one’s youth. This advice is truly eye-opening for modern women. Not only does my mom love the show, but my twelve-year-old daughter is also a fan. So, I decided to write an article to share my thoughts and insights with my female friends.![]()
黄亦玫的爱情哲学：至情至性，清醒自持
刘亦菲饰演的黄亦玫，完美诠释了从“恋爱脑”到清醒大女主，再到野心勃勃搞事业的全程进化。她懂得取舍，能抽离自己，敢爱敢恨，颜值和智商兼具，炙热勇敢。黄亦玫的爱情哲学简单直接：爱时全身心投入(all in)，不爱时果断离开。这种态度在当今社会中尤为珍贵。许多人在恋爱中往往陷入“恋爱脑”的困境，迷失自我，黄亦玫用行动告诉我们，爱可以深刻，但不应失去自我。
黄亦玫的婚姻经历可谓一波三折。从最初的庄国栋，到后来的方协文，再到最后的傅家明，她的每一段感情都充满了挑战和抉择。然而，在这些感情中，黄亦玫始终坚守着自己的原则：爱情与自由并存。她不愿为了婚姻牺牲自己的自由和梦想，这种坚定的态度让我们看到了新时代女性的独立与坚强。
在与方协文的婚姻中，黄亦玫曾面临生二胎的压力。然而，她坚决拒绝了这个要求，因为她不想让自己的生活被家庭和孩子完全束缚。这种选择，无疑是对传统家庭观念的挑战，也是黄亦玫追求自由生活的体现。
除了婚姻观念的独特，黄亦玫在事业上也有着坚定的追求。她热爱自己的工作，努力实现自我价值。在离婚后，黄亦玫不仅过得有滋有味，还开上了好车，干着喜欢并能实现自我价值的工作。这种独立的精神，让她在事业上取得了不小的成就，也让她更加坚信自己的选择.
Huang Yimei’s Love Philosophy: Passionate Yet Rational
Liu Yifei’s portrayal of Huang Yimei perfectly illustrates the evolution from having a “love brain” to becoming a clear-headed leading woman, and then ambitiously pursuing a career. She knows how to make choices, can detach herself, loves and hates passionately, and combines beauty with intelligence, showing bravery and intensity. Huang Yimei’s love philosophy is simple and direct: all in when in love, and decisively leave when not. This attitude is especially valuable in today’s society, where many people lose themselves in love, falling into the trap of the “love brain.” Huang Yimei shows us that love can be profound without losing oneself.
The Ups and Downs of Huang Yimei’s Marriages
Huang Yimei’s marital journey is full of twists and turns. From her initial relationship with Zhuang Guodong to her later marriages with Fang Xiewen and finally Fu Jiaming, each relationship is fraught with challenges and choices. Throughout these relationships, Huang Yimei remains steadfast in her principle: love and freedom must coexist. She refuses to sacrifice her freedom and dreams for marriage, demonstrating the independence and strength of modern women.
In her marriage with Fang Xiewen, Huang Yimei faced pressure to have a second child. However, she firmly rejected this demand because she did not want her life to be completely dominated by family and children. This choice challenges traditional family values and reflects her pursuit of a free life.
Unique Career Pursuits
Apart from her unique views on marriage, Huang Yimei is also steadfast in her career pursuits. She loves her work and strives to realize her self-worth. After her divorce, Huang Yimei not only lives a fulfilling life but also drives a nice car and works at a job she loves, where she can realize her value. This independent spirit has led her to significant achievements in her career and further strengthened her belief in her choices.
说说”恋爱脑“
“恋爱脑”是一种在恋爱中失去自我、过度依赖对方、无法理性思考的状态。恋爱脑让人在感情中变得盲目，不惜一切迎合对方，甚至牺牲自己的需求和目标。对女性来说，”恋爱脑“更是一种常见的误导，可能会让她们在爱情中迷失自我价值和独立性。
恋爱脑对女性的误导在于，它让女性把全部生活重心放在感情上，忽视了自身的成长和发展。这种心态容易让女性陷入情感的困境，无法自拔，甚至可能因为一段失败的感情而对生活失去信心。因此，女性在恋爱中应保持清醒，认识到自己的价值，避免过度依赖和迷失自我.
Understanding “Love Brain”“Love brain” is a state where one loses oneself in love, becomes overly dependent on the partner, and cannot think rationally. It causes people to become blind in relationships, willing to do anything to please their partner, even at the expense of their own needs and goals. For women, “love brain” is particularly misleading, often causing them to lose their self-worth and independence in love.The misleading aspect of “love brain” for women is that it shifts their entire focus onto the relationship, neglecting their own growth and development. This mindset can trap women in emotional dilemmas, making it difficult for them to extricate themselves, and sometimes causing them to lose confidence in life due to a failed relationship. Therefore, women should maintain clarity in love, recognize their value, and avoid losing themselves.
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恋爱中的成长：一次次的蜕变
恋爱不仅是一种情感体验，更是一次次的成长。每一段恋爱都是一场历练，让人不断学习和进步。恋爱中的甜蜜和挫折，喜悦和伤痛，都会让我们更加了解自己和他人。这种经历是单纯依靠事业无法给予的，是对人间感情的一种深刻体会。
没有经历过恋爱的人，可能对七情六欲的理解会有缺失。恋爱不仅教会我们如何去爱别人，也教会我们如何被爱，如何在感情中保持平衡。它让我们学会沟通、包容和妥协，这些都是在事业中难以获得的宝贵经验。
Growth Through Love: A Series of TransformationsLove is not just an emotional experience but a series of growth opportunities. Each relationship is a learning process, allowing one to continually learn and improve. The sweetness and setbacks, joy and pain in love help us understand ourselves and others better. These experiences offer a profound understanding of human emotions that cannot be gained through a career alone.For those who have never experienced love, there might be a lack of understanding of these deep emotions. Love teaches us how to love others, how to be loved, and how to maintain balance in relationships. It teaches us communication, tolerance, and compromise—valuable lessons that are hard to acquire through a career.苏更生的故事：拒绝爱情，失去灵感
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万茜饰演的苏更生，职场中冷静干练，一丝不苟有条理。因此老板姜总非常信任她，将人员和管理全权交给她负责。然而，在艺术策划类的项目上，姜总并不看好苏苏，因为艺术策划需要投入感情，需要情感的映射，而苏苏因为有心理阴影拒绝爱情，所以在情感上缺乏敏锐度。姜总看出了这一点，建议她去谈一场恋爱：“苏苏，去谈一场恋爱吧。爱情不仅不会妨碍你的事业，反而可能成为你创作的源泉。”
姜总想要表达的意思也很明显：苏苏如果想在职场走得更远，爬得更高，就必须学会理性和感性的平衡。
Su Gengsheng’s Story: Rejecting Love, Losing InspirationWan Qian’s portrayal of Su Gengsheng is of a cool and efficient professional, meticulous and well-organized. Her boss, Jiang, trusts her deeply, delegating personnel and management tasks to her. However, in the realm of art planning, Jiang does not see Su’s potential because art requires emotional investment and reflection, something Su lacks due to her psychological scars and rejection of love. Jiang noticed this and advised her, “Su, go fall in love. Love won’t hinder your career; it might just become your source of inspiration.”Jiang’s message is clear: if Su wants to advance further and climb higher in her career, she must learn to balance rationality and emotion.
姜总：清醒独立的霸总
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朱珠饰演的姜总，清醒独立又霸气十足。她懂得调动身边一切资源“为己”，坚韧有力量，很有人格魅力。台面上，她能力出众，有实力；私下里，她也能玩得开，大大咧咧。姜总的角色展现了现代女性在职场中如何平衡工作和个人生活，既有强大的事业心，又不失生活的乐趣.
Jiang: The Clear-Headed, Independent Boss
Zhu Zhu’s portrayal of Jiang is of a clear-headed, independent, and formidable woman. She knows how to utilize all resources for her benefit, showing resilience and strength, with a charismatic personality. Publicly, she is capable and powerful; privately, she knows how to let loose and have fun. Jiang’s character demonstrates how modern women can balance work and personal life, maintaining a strong career drive while enjoying life.
爱情的乘数效应：来自安哥拉企业家的启示
我在安哥拉出差的时候， 与一位在美国长大并回安哥拉创业的年轻企业家闲聊，他表达了一个独特的观点："Love is a mulitiple" ...爱情对事业和财富有着乘数效应。他认为，爱情不仅仅是情感的寄托，更是事业的助推器。虽然他刚刚经历了一场不愉快的婚姻，但他依然坚信爱情的力量。没有爱情的生活是空洞的，回到家里空无一人，会让他失去奋斗的动力(motivation)。爱情能够激发他的创造力和动力，让事业蒸蒸日上。
The Multiplier Effect of Love: Insights from an Angolan EntrepreneurDuring a business trip to Angola, I had a conversation with a young entrepreneur who grew up in the United States and returned to Angola to start his own business. He shared a unique perspective: “Love is a multiplier” … Love has a multiplier effect on career and wealth. He believes that love is not just an emotional refuge but also a career booster. Despite recently going through an unhappy marriage, he still firmly believes in the power of love. Life without love is empty; coming home to an empty house robs him of motivation. Love can stimulate his creativity and drive, propelling his career forward.
事业与爱情的平衡：完整人生的追求
坚持事业心，始终以事业为主线，是许多人成功的关键。然而，单纯追求事业而忽视感情生活的人，也会在情感的体验上有所缺失。一个完整的人生，不仅需要事业的成功，也需要情感的充实。每次恋爱都是对人间情感的一次深刻理解，是事业之外的另一种丰富和充实。
爱情和婚姻不仅给予我们无限的能量，也让我们在人生的每一个阶段都能体验到不同的情感和成长。它们是人生的重要组成部分，每段爱情和婚姻都是不同的人生体验，教会我们如何在爱中成长，如何在矛盾中妥协和进步。
Balancing Career and Love: The Pursuit of a Complete Life
Maintaining a strong career focus is crucial for many people’s success, but solely pursuing career goals while neglecting emotional life can lead to an incomplete existence. A fulfilling life requires both career success and emotional richness. Each relationship is a profound understanding of human emotions, adding a different layer of enrichment outside of career.Love and marriage not only provide us with endless energy but also allow us to experience different emotions and growth at every stage of life. They are vital components of life, each relationship teaching us how to grow, compromise, and progress in love.
勇敢爱，在爱情上勇敢“试错”
女性可以借鉴鲁伯特·默多克的爱情和婚姻观。默多克已经经历了五次婚姻，爱情不仅没有成为他事业的阻碍，反而成为他不断前进的动力。每一次新的爱情和婚姻，都像是给了他一次新的生命，让他能够在事业上不断创新和进步。这种“年轻效应”不仅体现在他的外表和生活方式上，更深深植根于他的内心和精神世界。
Brave Love, Brave “Trial and Error” in Love
Women can learn from Rupert Murdoch’s approach to love and marriage. Despite five marriages, Murdoch’s love life has never been an obstacle to his career; instead, it has been a driving force. Each new relationship has given him a renewed sense of life, enabling him to innovate and advance in his career continually. This “youthful effect” is not only reflected in his appearance and lifestyle but is deeply rooted in his inner spirit.
传统爱情观的反思与自我成长
传统的爱情观认为“爱你就要一辈子”，但现实是爱情也有保鲜期。当一段爱情让我们失去光彩，需要做出过多妥协，甚至无法做自己时，我们应当勇敢地走出来，重新找回自我。保持对爱情的开放态度，不刻意去寻找，而是坚持自我成长和事业主线，这样的我们才能在爱情和事业中找到平衡和幸福。
Reflecting on Traditional Views of Love and Personal Growth
Traditional views of love often dictate “love you for a lifetime,” but in reality, love has a shelf life. When a relationship loses its luster, requires excessive compromise, or prevents one from being oneself, it’s essential to have the courage to walk away and rediscover oneself. Maintaining an open attitude towards love, not actively seeking it, but focusing on self-growth and career, can help achieve a balance between love and work.
写在最后
通过黄亦玫这个角色，刘亦菲向我们展示了一种全新的爱情观：恋爱可以谈，但“恋爱脑”不可以有。只有在清醒理智的状态下，我们才能真正享受爱情的美好，同时也不失去自我。希望每一个在恋爱中的人，都能够像黄亦玫一样，爱得深情却不迷失，并在事业与爱情之间找到属于自己的平衡。这样的人生，才是完整而充实的。
Through the character of Huang Yimei, Liu Yifei presents us with a new perspective on love: it’s worth pursuing, but avoid the “love brain.” Only with a clear and rational mindset can we truly enjoy the beauty of love without losing ourselves. I hope everyone in love can love deeply without losing themselves, finding a balance between career and love. This is the path to a complete and fulfilling life.
