从焦虑到平和：在“小满”与“松弛感”中重拾人生节奏Embrace “Xiaoman” Philosophy

微信里有个“搜一搜”和“问一问”的功能，很多人会在上面提问，微信也希望公众号博主们能回答一些问题来活跃社区流量。

虽然没有“义务”回答这些问题，但有时候看到感兴趣的问题/话题， 还是很愿意分享一些自己的观点和想法。 

比如今天赶上被邀请回答“如何看待”人生小满胜万全“这句话？ 分享你的故事。” 这个话题涉及一种我个人比较认可的生活态度和人生哲学， 很想在公众号也分享下。

很巧的是，每年我的生日都是小满（5月21号）。起初，我对“小满”这个节气并不熟悉，也不了解它的真正寓意。 但当我慢慢了解后，突然意识到它和我的人生观不谋而合，甚至让我相信这是我一直在寻找的人生哲理，因为传递了一种“适度满足”的人生智慧。小满的寓意就是“收获小赢，享受当下”，它提醒我们，不要因为追求“大满”而失去对生活细微幸福的感知。

有意思的是，二十四节气里，有“小寒”和“大寒”，有“小暑”和“大暑”，但偏偏只有“小满”而没有“大满”。这就像是老天在提醒我们：大满未必是人生的追求方向。总想着“大满”，欲望无止境，反而会让人焦虑、不安。适时“止步”，才能看到那些本应享受的“小确幸”。

Interestingly, my birthday falls on Xiaoman (May 21) every year. At first, I wasn’t familiar with the Xiaoman solar term or its deeper meaning. But as I learned more, I realized how closely it aligns with my personal outlook on life. In fact, it made me believe that this concept embodies the life philosophy I’ve been seeking, one that conveys the wisdom of “moderate fulfillment.” Xiaoman’s essence is about “small wins and enjoying the present,” reminding us not to overlook the simple joys in life while chasing after the elusive “great success.”

What’s fascinating is that within the 24 solar terms, there are “minor cold” and “major cold,” “minor heat” and “major heat,” but we only have “Xiaoman” (minor fulfillment) and no “Daman” (major fulfillment). It’s as if the universe is subtly telling us that striving for complete perfection may not be the ultimate goal in life. Constantly chasing after “major fulfillment” can lead to endless desires, fueling anxiety and restlessness. Sometimes, we need to pause and appreciate those small, everyday moments of happiness that we might otherwise miss.

小满对我来说，已经不仅是节气，它几乎成了我的人生哲学和生活态度：努力但不盲目追求完美，享受过程中的每一个小小的成就。我常常提醒自己，人生的小满就是一种“持续的幸福感”，这种状态其实比大起大落要更长久、更踏实。尤其是在事业和个人生活中，我们追求的是那种持久、缓缓流淌的满足感，而不是一时的辉煌。

说到这儿，我可能还想融入“本自具足”的理念。所谓“本自具足”，就是你内在其实已经拥有一切，幸福感和满足感早就藏在你心里，不需要通过外界的物质来定义自己。人生的成就感不是靠疯狂追求外部的标准，而是要懂得从内心深处发掘出那种充盈的感觉。小满，正是帮我们唤醒这种内心的充盈和力量。

你有没有发现，真正让我们感到幸福的，其实并不一定是什么宏大的目标和成就，而是那些点滴的瞬间——认识一个朋友、帮助别人、学到一个新技能，甚至是一杯好喝的咖啡。这种来自内心的富足感，正是“小满”和“本自具足”的共同点。外界的得失无法决定我们内心的状态，真正的满足来自你对生活小确幸的觉知。

我自己也在努力践行“小满足，胜过求完美”。比如说我在非洲闯荡居然遇见很多聊得很契合的朋友，公众号里写的文章大家喜欢， 有人留下感人的留言，有人说我写的关于闯荡非洲的故事激励了她/他…..我都觉得是种幸福感。我也逐渐的convince 自己， 没必要执迷于达到什么“大满”，反倒是这种小确幸让我一直保持状态。

For me, Xiaoman is no longer just a solar term; it’s practically become my life philosophy and approach to living: work hard, but don’t blindly chase perfection. Instead, enjoy every small achievement along the way. I often remind myself that the essence of Xiaoman is a “sustained sense of happiness.” This state of mind, in fact, brings more lasting and grounded fulfillment than the dramatic highs and lows of life. Especially in both career and personal life, what we truly seek is that steady, flowing sense of contentment, rather than fleeting moments of brilliance.

At this point, I’d also like to incorporate the concept of “innate sufficiency” (本自具足). It’s the idea that everything we need is already within us—happiness and fulfillment are rooted inside, and we don’t need external material things to define our worth. The sense of accomplishment in life isn’t about frantically chasing external standards; rather, it’s about uncovering that inner fullness and strength. Xiaoman, in many ways, helps awaken this inner richness.

Have you ever noticed that the things that truly make us happy aren’t necessarily grand goals or major achievements, but the small, fleeting moments—meeting a new friend, helping someone out, learning a new skill, or even savoring a good cup of coffee? This sense of inner richness is exactly what Xiaoman and “innate sufficiency” share. External gains and losses can’t dictate our inner state; true fulfillment comes from recognizing and appreciating the small joys in life.

I’m also practicing this mindset of “small fulfillment over perfection.” For example, during my time in Africa, I’ve met many friends with whom I’ve had deep, meaningful conversations. When people respond positively to the articles I write for my public account, or leave touching comments, saying that my stories about navigating life in Africa have inspired them—that, to me, is a source of happiness. I’ve gradually convinced myself that there’s no need to be obsessed with reaching some “great success.” It’s these small, everyday joys that keep me going.

人生很长，物质上、事业上，总会有得失，有起有落。有时候我们会觉得某个目标没达到，或者某些东西失去了，但如果内心有种“充盈感”和稳定的内核，我们就能克服那些“波动”对内心的冲击，依然保持一份踏实的幸福感和一种持续的动力。这其实也是一种能力——从生活的点滴中感受到满足。当人生的轨道出现up and down的时候，你就能安慰自己：我已经取得了一些成就，这些成就是值得庆祝的。即使有一天失去了什么，也可以坦然面对，告诉自己“我曾经拥有过”，并有信心重新再来。

“小满”和现在很流行的“松弛感”不谋而合。松弛感讲的是“有张有弛”，保持身体和心理上的弹性，这样我们就不会在物质或精神的过度追求下被压垮。而小满则提醒我们，生活中那些小小的满足也是一种幸福，不需要追求大满，生活中适时停下，享受当下的成就和感动，才是让人长久前行的力量。一直疯狂地追求物质、拼命努力，不管是身体还是心理，最终都会burn out。而burn out就像橡皮筋被拉得过紧，失去了弹性。

Life is long, and there will always be ups and downs—whether in terms of material possessions or career achievements. Sometimes we might feel like we haven’t reached a certain goal, or we’ve lost something important. But if we have a sense of inner fullness and a stable core, we can weather these fluctuations without being shaken, maintaining a steady sense of happiness and ongoing motivation. This, too, is a skill—the ability to find satisfaction in life’s small moments. When life’s path takes an unexpected turn, you can reassure yourself by saying, “I’ve achieved certain things, and these accomplishments are worth celebrating.” And even if you lose something, you can face it calmly, remind yourself “I once had it,” and have the confidence to start again.

This idea of “Xiaoman” aligns closely with the increasingly popular concept of “松弛感” (the art of relaxation). “松弛感” teaches us to stay flexible, both physically and mentally, so we don’t get crushed by the relentless pursuit of material or personal goals. Likewise, Xiaoman reminds us that the small fulfillments in life are also a form of happiness. We don’t need to chase after perfection. Taking the time to pause, enjoy our small victories, and appreciate the present is the strength that keeps us moving forward. Continuously pushing ourselves to the limit—whether physically or mentally—will inevitably lead to burnout, just like an overstretched rubber band that eventually loses its elasticity.

小满不仅是物质上的满足，它更多的是心理上的一种愉悦和安定。人生中大多数焦虑，往往都是因为我们不停地和别人比较。你看看身边的同事、朋友，或者打开朋友圈，总有人过得比你好，拿的比你多，感觉不管自己怎么努力，总差那么点意思。于是开始内卷，拼了命地想赶上别人，但其实呢？每个人的节奏都不一样，资源也不一样，强行追赶只会把自己搞得精疲力尽。

说到底，人生哪有万全？小满，才是值得珍视的幸福感。你呢，是否也有过类似的“小满”时刻？

Xiaoman isn’t just about material satisfaction; it’s about a psychological sense of joy and peace. Much of the anxiety we experience comes from constantly comparing ourselves to others. You look at your colleagues, your friends, or scroll through social media, and there’s always someone who seems to be doing better, achieving more. No matter how hard you try, you feel like you’re always falling short. This leads to endless competition, exhausting yourself trying to keep up. But the truth is, everyone’s pace is different, everyone’s resources are different, and forcing yourself to chase others will only leave you drained.

At the end of the day, is there really such a thing as “perfection”? It’s the small fulfillments, the “Xiaoman” moments, that bring genuine happiness. What about you—have you had any “Xiaoman” moments lately?