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In a thought-provoking interview on a popular Chinese dating show, 43-year-old Lulu, a real estate company marketing manager from Shanghai, made waves with her bold assertion: “Chinese men aren’t worthy of Chinese women.” Her comments ignited heated discussions online, shedding light on societal expectations, personal standards, and gender dynamics in China's dating scene.
Lulu is no ordinary woman. A graduate of Shanghai’s prestigious Fudan University and a successful professional, she exudes confidence in her appearance and achievements. She attributes her prolonged single status to her “excellence,” which she believes intimidates potential suitors.
“Some men tell me, ‘You look very aloof; I’m afraid to approach you.’ Is that my fault?” Lulu shared.
However, as she entered her 40s, Lulu acknowledged the importance of marriage. Yet, her quest for a partner who meets her high standards—a man with a house, car, and an annual income of at least ¥1 million—has left her frustrated. She laments that such men often overlook women like her, despite her self-perceived youthfulness and beauty.
To help Lulu better understand herself, the show’s team arranged a sand tray therapy session. Through her creation, the psychologist observed that beneath her confident exterior, Lulu harbored vulnerability, yearning deeply for love.
Recognizing this, the program organized a matchmaking session with 38-year-old Mr. Gong, an advertising company owner.
The date began on a pleasant note, with Mr. Gong politely asking about Lulu’s academic background. When she revealed she graduated from Fudan University, Mr. Gong commented, “Fudan graduates are known for their pride. What’s your take on this?”
“I think I have every reason to be proud,” Lulu replied, attributing her success to her innate talents.
As the conversation progressed, Lulu candidly stated that her beauty placed her among the most desirable women, a sentiment that Mr. Gong found off-putting. The date ended unsuccessfully, with Mr. Gong later remarking, “Women like Lulu lack the humility to match their self-perception. They’re caught in a limbo—neither up nor down—and it’s exhausting.”
In a post-date interview, Lulu rated her performance a confident 99 out of 100, blaming the one missing point on her fear of appearing overly proud. “As a 99% perfect woman, I naturally lead in conversations. It’s the men who give up too easily,” she asserted. She also criticized most men for neglecting their fitness post-graduation, further justifying her claim that they don’t match her level.
Her comments sparked a heated debate with the show’s male psychologist, leading to the involvement of a female psychologist for balance.
The show arranged another date for Lulu, this time with a high-ranking executive at a multinational company who had studied abroad. Lulu initially expressed optimism, noting that men exposed to foreign cultures might better align with her values.
However, upon meeting him, she quickly dismissed his appearance, deeming it unworthy despite his impressive credentials. Her visible dissatisfaction soured the atmosphere, and the date ended prematurely.
Lulu’s story became a trending topic on Chinese social media, drawing millions of comments. Opinions were sharply divided:
Supporters praised her confidence: “She knows her worth and won’t settle. Why should she?”
Critics accused her of delusion: “At 43, she expects a man with wealth, looks, and a great personality? Reality check!”
Humorists took a lighter tone: “If she’s waiting for perfection, she might want to freeze her eggs—just in case.”
Some commenters highlighted societal issues: “This reflects a bigger problem. Women are expected to marry early, yet when they achieve success, they’re criticized for being too picky.”
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