情绪和理性思考之间的斗争是最大的斗争。情绪主要是由潜意识性的杏仁体控制的，而理性思考主要是由意识性的前额皮层控制的。如果你能理解这些斗争是如何发生的，你就能理解为什么说把你潜意识产生的东西和意识产生的东西相调和是非常重要的。
可恶的杏仁体是一个小小的杏仁状构造，深深地隐藏在大脑底部，是大脑最强有力的区域之一。尽管你感觉不到它，但它控制着你的行为。它如何运行？当什么东西（可以是某种声音、某个场景，或者仅仅是某种直觉）让我们不快时，杏仁体就向身体发出准备战或逃的信号：心跳加速、血压升高、呼吸加快。在与人争论时，你经常可以注意到一种类似于恐惧时的生理反应（例如心跳加速、肌肉绷紧）。你的意识（源自前额皮层）在感受到这些信号后可以拒绝执行。这些“杏仁体绑架”现象通常来得快、去得也快，只有极少数例外，如因经历某个或一系列可怕事件而出现创伤后应激障碍的人。知道了“杏仁体绑架”是怎么回事，你就会懂得，如果你放任自己做出本能反应的话，你就很可能会反应过度。你也可以安慰自己，因为你已经知道，你经历的任何精神痛苦不久后都会自动消失。
There are no greater battles than those between our feelings (most importantly controlled by our amygdala, which operates subconsciously) and our rational thinking (most importantly controlled by our prefrontal cortex, which operates consciously). If you understand how those battles occur you will understand why it is so important to reconcile what you get from your subconscious with what you get from your conscious mind.
That damned amygdala, which is a little almond-shaped structure that lies deeply embedded in the cerebrum, is one of the most powerful parts of your brain. It controls your behavior, even though you’re not conscious of it. How does it work? When something upsets us—and that something could be a sound, a sight, or just a gut feeling—the amygdala sends notice to our bodies to prepare to fight or flee: the heartbeat speeds up, the blood pressure rises, and breathing quickens. During an argument, you’ll often notice a physical response similar to how you react to fear (for instance, rapid heartbeats and tensing muscles). Recognizing that, your conscious mind (which resides in the prefrontal cortex) can refuse to obey its instructions. Typically, these amygdala hijackings come on fast and dissipate quickly, except in rare cases, such as when a person develops post-traumatic stress disorder from a particularly horrible event or series of events. Knowing how these hijackings work, you know that if you allow yourself to react spontaneously, you will be prone to overreact. You can also comfort yourself with the knowledge that whatever psychological pain you are experiencing will go away before very long.
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