一旦产生分歧，双方都需要同等诚信、开放和果断，并都能为对方着想。评判者必须对双方运用同样的标准，并依据标准给予反馈。我经常发现在一些情况中，相关反馈出于种种原因（对更强大一方采取更高标准、分散责难），没能做到适当的平衡。这是错误的。做错的一方需要受到更严厉的批评，不这样做可能导致他们认为自己不是问题的源头，或至少认为责任五五开。当然，此类信息的传达应当冷静、明确地进行，而不能太情绪化地表达，以发挥最大功用。 Whenever there is a dispute, both parties are required to have equal levels of integrity, to be open-minded and assertive, and to be equally considerate. The judges must hold the parties to the same standards and provide feedback consistent with these standards. I have often seen cases in which the feedback wasn’t appropriately balanced for various reasons (to hold the stronger performer to a higher standard, to spread the blame). This is a mistake. The person in the wrong needs to receive the strongest message. Not operating this way could lead them to believe that the problem wasn’t caused by them, or was caused by both parties equally. Of course, the message should be conveyed calmly and clearly rather than emotionally to maximize its effectiveness.
