几乎每个小组在大事上达成共识后，都为一些不太重要的小事争论不休，甚至成为仇家，全然不顾他们更应着眼于大事。这种现象也被称作小节上的自恋。以新教徒和天主教徒为例。尽管两者都是基督的信徒，他们中的一部分人却相互斗争了几百年，然而当中的很多人却无法清楚地说明分裂他们的差异是什么，而那些能说清差异的则认识到，相对于那些应将他们紧密相连的重要大事而言，这些差异是微不足道的。我曾经亲眼见过，一个亲密的家庭因为感恩节上谁来切火鸡肉一事而爆发无法挽回的冲突。所以，你不要染上小节上自恋的毛病。要知道没有任何人、任何事是完美的，如果你能有总体上来说良好的关系就是幸运的了。看问题要从大局出发。 Almost every group that agrees on the big things ends up fighting about less important things and becoming enemies even though they should be bound by the big things. This phenomenon is called the narcissism of small differences. Take the Protestants and Catholics. Though both are followers of Christ, some of them have been fighting for hundreds of years, even though many of them are unable to articulate the differences that divide them, and most of those who can articulate the differences realize that they are insignificant relative to the big important things that should bind them together. I once saw a close family have an irrevocable blow-out at a Thanksgiving dinner over who would cut the turkey. Don’t let this narcissism of small differences happen to you. Understand that nobody and nothing is perfect and that you are lucky to have by-and-large excellent relationships. See the big picture.
