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In recent days, two separate incidents involving bride price demands led to near-tragic outcomes as two women in Shanghai attempted suicide over family disputes related to marriage arrangements.
The First Case: A Young Couple Torn Apart by Bride Price
On October 31, a young woman named Xiao Qian (pseudonym) from Chongming, Shanghai, was found on the edge of a riverbank in a typhoon-ridden storm, ready to end her life. Her father’s demand for an additional 300,000 yuan ($41,000) in bride price from her boyfriend Xiao Li’s family, meant to “ensure the daughter’s happiness and test the sincerity of the groom’s family,” had strained the relationship between the two families. Unable to meet the increased financial demand, Xiao Li’s family reluctantly decided to end the engagement. Heartbroken, Xiao Qian attempted to discuss a compromise with her father, but their conversation escalated into a heated argument, prompting her desperate escape.
Upon discovering their daughter’s absence, Xiao Qian’s parents frantically searched for her, eventually finding her near the river, threatening to jump. Her mother calmed her as her father alerted authorities. Police officers and firefighters arrived and tried to reason with Xiao Qian, but she suddenly leapt into the river. An officer immediately jumped in after her, navigating the icy water to pull her to safety. After the rescue, both families held discussions, and Xiao Qian’s parents agreed to withdraw their demand for additional bride price. Reconciled, Xiao Qian and Xiao Li were able to move forward with their relationship.
The Second Case: Pregnancy and Abandonment over Bride Price
In another case on October 24, Xiao Li (pseudonym) contacted the police after contemplating suicide due to a falling-out with her boyfriend over bride price. Xiao Li, who was two years into a relationship with Xiao Wang, discovered she was pregnant and encouraged him to propose. Her parents requested a bride price of 200,000 yuan ($27,000), leading Xiao Wang to disappear and cut off contact. Distressed, Xiao Li traveled from her hometown to Changxing Island, where Xiao Wang worked, but was unable to locate him, leading her to contemplate suicide.
Police found Xiao Li on the shore and managed to prevent her from entering the river. After bringing her to the police station, they tracked down Xiao Wang, who confessed to his irresponsibility. Following counseling from police, Xiao Wang agreed to let Xiao Li stay with him while the families negotiated the bride price. With assistance from the local police, both sides eventually agreed on a reduced amount, allowing Xiao Li to remain in Shanghai with her boyfriend.
Public Reaction and Online Debate
These incidents have stirred heated discussions online about the financial burdens that bride price demands can place on young couples, as well as the tradition’s impact on mental health. Many netizens expressed sympathy for the women, criticizing the rigid expectations that prioritize financial exchanges over emotional bonds. One user commented, “Marriage should be about love, not a financial transaction that causes so much pain.” Another added, “These cases show how outdated customs harm the younger generation. Families should prioritize happiness over money.”
Others acknowledged the tradition but called for moderation, suggesting that families discuss bride price more openly and realistically. One netizen remarked, “Bride price has a cultural place, but it should never drive someone to such desperation. This shows the need for reform.”
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