Prompt: You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics: Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities.
A scream in the night. Mine.
In the town of Montagu, South Africa, the sun had set hours ago, leaving its place to a deep dark sky. Everything was peaceful and quiet. In a little lodge, a family of four people had just finished eating on a dimly lit terrace. The heat was so intense even the black silence seemed to suffocate – only a few crickets dared to break its density. The mother asked something to her daughter, who stood up, and bypassed the table. That’s when she screamed. An intense, long scream, that reverberated in the little town of Montagu.
Me, miserable as I had fallen down the terrace… into a plantation of cacti! I couldn’t move. I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. The plants were engulfing me into the darkness. I was suffocating, trying to grasp some of the hot, heavy air. Until I felt her hand. My mom’s.
She and my father organized this trip to South Africa. Valuing experiences more than material wealth, they liked to organize trips to foreign, far away countries. In addition to South Africa, I visited Cuba, Nepal and China. Four countries where landscapes and cities are dissimilar to France’s. Four countries that allowed me to discover numerous communities, recipes and traditions. Four countries where I met animals, plants and humans I had never seen before.
I am a city girl. As a little girl, I was never really fond of flora or fauna. However, during my trips, I was lucky to see animals in freedom and to interact with nature. A baboon broke into my car in South Africa and walked all over me – literally. I held an iguana in Cuba, did a safari in South Africa and talked with a parrot in Nepal. I saw the sun rising on the Machapuchare. I ultimately understood that all I had experienced was thanks to Nature. I realized its preciousness and its urgency to be saved. I gained proximity to the environment that I had always lacked. My blood turned green thanks to travels.
In addition to animal discoveries, travels are encounter engines. From little to aged humans, from all genders, from everywhere, travels allowed me to meet incredible people. The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me in Ghorepani, Nepal. I had walked for seven hours that day, and was waiting for dinner, sitting on a bench. She slowly advanced towards me. “What’s your name?” I asked the white figure in the obscurity.
The little girl stopped moving. Dark curly hair, dark deep eyes, white clothes covered in mud among the deep dark night. Our eyes locked in each other’s, the sound of our breathing floating in the dense silence, everything seemed to be suspended. After what felt like dozens of hours, she looked at me and silently walked away, a star in the ink black sky.
每一个遇见的人都使我成长。像尼泊尔的小女孩一样的一些人简单地打乱了我，有些人让我对贫困有了新的认识，还有些人让我对种族主义有了新的认识。我遇到的每一个人都有故事要分享，有事实要传递。我参观了南非一个小镇的孤儿院。一位身材瘦弱的女老师解释说，种族主义在这个国家仍然根深蒂固，以至于黑人和混血人士在邻里之间互相残杀。几个世纪对有色人种的虐待，让孩子们支付代价，在孤儿院长大。雨水的声音在金属房屋上回响，孩子们唱着他们的国歌。随着雨滴在每个脸颊上竞赛，湿润的沟壑出现了： “在我们南非的土地上，让我们为自由而生活和奋斗。”
Traveling is ultimately a chance. It is an opportunity to understand the complexity of the world by getting close to it. Traveling allowed me to realize the differences between each country and region. But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. Being away brought me closer to my home and my family and friends, my newspaper team, every community I’m involved in. Traveling represents a learning process. I integrated leadership and diligence in Nepal, watching children and old men transport wood on their back. Speaking foreign languages allowed me to acquire experience and put my theoretical skills to practise. I acquired a lot of adaptability through travels as part of their greatness comes from its unpredictability. Traveling truly enriches the intellect of those who have the chance to do it.
文书老师点评
文章通过具体叙述和亲身体验，生动展示旅行影响和意义。 表达对敬畏自然、认识文化差异以及感激遇见每一个人的叙述展现自己情感，从而成功打动读者情感。
文章内容丰富，但在过渡和内在逻辑结构上稍显松散，需要更清晰结构来引导读者理解作者主要观点。 虽然文章主要围绕旅行对个人影响展开，但部分段落中主题稍显分散，可以更加聚焦于如何通过具体旅行经历反映作者成长和蜕变。
总 结
马可·波罗：通过旅行，我发现中国。通过写作，我让欧洲人了解中国。
莎士比亚：当然重要！没有写作，你行万里路后，谁来记载你的壮举呢？得有文字记录才算数呀！
马可·波罗：哥伦布，说起来，我还得谢谢你。要不是你发现了美洲，欧洲人哪有玉米和土豆吃？但没有我的写作，你们哪知道东方有那么多美味的茶叶和香料呢？
哥伦布：哈哈，说得好！不过，莎士比亚，你的写作真是神来之笔。要是我能把航海日记写得像你的剧本一样有趣，海盗都不敢抢我的船！
莎士比亚：哦，哥伦布，你那航海日记要是像我的剧本，海盗们肯定会停下来读完再抢。毕竟，好故事谁不爱看呢？
马可·波罗：看来，我们的结论是：既要行万里路，又要写万卷书。只有走过、看过、写过，后人才能记住我们！
