好久没出这个奇怪玩意儿了
随便敷衍一期
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每次点外卖，我都感觉自己是皇帝下旨：“御膳房，今晚赐朕一份炸鸡，不准少放辣！”Every time I order delivery, I feel like an emperor issuing a decree: “Royal kitchen, bring me fried chicken tonight—extra spicy, no excuses!”
外卖到了的时候，仿佛宇宙恢复了秩序，饥饿消失了，连沙发都感觉更柔软了。When the delivery arrives, it’s like the universe aligns, hunger disappears, and even the couch feels softer.
点外卖总是精挑细选半小时，最后点了一份最常吃的米饭套餐，仿佛在证明人是很难战胜习惯的生物。I spend half an hour carefully browsing menus, only to order my usual rice set, proving humans are creatures of habit.
半夜点外卖时，总觉得自己是忍者执行秘密任务，小心翼翼地避开家人耳朵的“伏击”。Late-night delivery feels like a ninja mission, tiptoeing to avoid the ambush of family members overhearing.
外卖小哥每次敲门的声音，都像是命运的召唤：“来吧，开门迎接你的晚餐救赎！”Every knock from the delivery guy feels like destiny calling: “Come, open the door and embrace your dinner salvation!”
点外卖时总想着吃点健康的，结果手一抖选了炸鸡，心理安慰自己：“炸的蔬菜也算蔬菜。”I always plan to order something healthy, but end up choosing fried chicken and convince myself, “Fried vegetables are still vegetables.”
外卖送到后发现饮料撒了一半，我感叹：“这大概是饮料在路上冒险失去的青春吧。”When half the drink is spilled upon delivery, I sigh, “This must be the drink’s adventurous youth lost along the way.”
外卖平台推送“你有100种没吃过的美味”，我默默回想，自己其实只会重复吃那3种。The app suggests “100 dishes you’ve never tried,” and I silently reflect that I just keep eating the same three.
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