Hello同学大家好
雅思大作文,越写例子,反而分数越低
很多同学,肯定都不同意这个观点
因为大家都是这样写Body段的
题目:Some people believe that high school students should spend a year studying or living abroad before entering university. Do you agree or disagree ?First of all, experiencing the local culture can help students understand language better. For example, if students stay with the local residents, they can have the opportunities to talk with the native speakers, which can improve the speaking and listening a lot faster than learning from a text book. The text book can only provide basic…没有解释第1句话的观点,直接写了例子
缺乏对于第1句话“experiencing the local culture can help students understand language better”的逻辑
第2句应该解释, experiencing the local culture 怎么样 help students understand language better
例子应该是一个具体的事件,但是这里说的是笼统的例子
有效的例子应该描述一个具体的情境
比如:“A student in Japan had dinner with their host family every evening and discussed the day's news, which helped him pick up natural Japanese expressions and refine his pronunciation.”
通过后半部分的:“帮助他积累了很多地道的日语表达并且改善了他的发音” 解释了“如何提高”
而学生的例子:“和当地人在一起 > 更多交流机会 > 更快提高听力和口语”
没有清楚说明“更多交流机会”是如何具体帮助“更快提高听力和口语”的
为什么笼统例子无法拿到7分:
Task Achievement (TA) : 因为缺少了“如何”, 导致论证不够充分,未能有效支持主旨观点.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 缺少了“如何”导致前后句子的逻辑衔接显得不紧凑,无法展现7分要求中的逻辑递进(logical progression)。具体的例子 “讨论当天的新闻, 帮助他积累了很多地道的日语表达并且改善了他的发音”,能自然解释“交流机会”和“语言提高”之间的关系,增强连贯性
Lexical Resource (LR): 笼统的描述限制了词汇的精准度。如, “improve speaking and listening”中的 “Improve” 无法说明是如何提高的,所以,不够精准
例子中的表达“ him pick up natural Japanese expressions and refine his pronunciation” “pick up”强调是从日常自然的学习的。“refine”强调的是一步步逐渐改善
即使例子写对了,也不可能把每个话题都积累1个例子
而且考试出原题的概率越来越低了,备考时间过长
Some people believe that high school students should spend a year studying or living abroad before entering university. Do you agree or disagree ?写出7分段落
Living abroad provides high school students with many opportunities to practice the local language with locals in real-life situations, such as shopping for groceries, taking a taxi, or looking for housing. If they can live abroad for some time after graduation, they can pick up many authentic expressions in their daily lives, thus quickly mastering a foreign language.Such a benefit can help them better understand the different perspectives of people who speak this language, become aware that such differences are norms, and learn to stand in others' shoes. After returning to their own countries, this improved empathy can help them better relate to people from diverse backgrounds, fostering a sense of belonging, which could further motivate them to cooperate with others, contributing to a more cohesive society.