Is this the curse of never being good enough?
All my life, I feel like I’m trying too hard. I’m terrified of the people I love leaving me behind. They left once, and maybe that’s why I’m haunted by the fear it’ll all repeat.
I carry the ghost of those scars everywhere I go, and I pity myself for letting them define me, for allowing that moment of pain to shape who I am in my own eyes.
Perhaps leaving me is easier than loving me.
Maybe that’s why they always seem to slip away from my grasp. No matter how much I give, it always feels like I am easier to leave.
Am I too much of something that makes loving me feel like a burden?
Maybe my scars that still bleed make it easier to let go. I guess leaving me was easier than weathering the storm that comes with loving me.
Oh God, please tell me how to stop. I am not your strongest soldier. I don’t need to be the strongest. I am not a warrior in an endless fight, nor do I want to be. I don’t need to be strong anymore — I just want to be held.
I want to feel like I can fall apart and still be enough, that I can break and still be wanted, that I am worthy even with these scars that refuse to fade.
Please, if there’s mercy in this, show me how to stop. Show me how to stop believing that I have to fight to be loved. I am begging for gentleness, for a reason to believe that all this pain is leading somewhere softer. This heart always questions if she’s too much or too little. I am drowning in my tears — please, save me.
I am not your strongest soldier; I am simply a soul that longs for peace. I am a heart that has been torn and left behind too many times, aching for the chance to be loved without fearing I am about to be abandoned.
God, I’m sorry for the sins I’ve committed, but if there’s anything left for me, let it be a love that stays. Let it be a love that doesn’t hurt to hold.
Please, I’ve been on my knees — could you let this one be a favor for me?
Originally published on medium.
Thank you for reading. I hope that this article makes you feel more motivated! If it’s the case, hit the clap button and follow me for more articles like this!
If you are reading this, comment “🍓”.
🙆超级思维:20个想法添加到你的思维工具箱
🎨这个10分钟的惯例会增加你的清晰度和创造力
😪如果你睡觉时不这样做，对你的大脑将是灾难性的
😊高度自信的人的8个特点
👍生活的7条基本规则
⏰What to Do When Your Habits No Longer Serve You
⭐你现在需要丢掉的20个坏习惯
🛐拖延症的6个常见原因
💴如何和你的朋友谈论钱
🎪8种方法让自己更有吸引力
🐂纽约女子挑战一年不用智能手机
💏网上约会不会消失，但有些事情需要改变
👩🎓工作和生活真的能平衡吗？
关注后也可以直接在本文底部阅读原文打开
👇译文&屏幕取词，把生词都收藏起来，提供全文分析，文章出现的典型从句语法分析。
