Michael聊聊：该不该在意别人看自己

以下

是我今天更新在视频号里

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中间有不少口头语，和啰嗦的地方，

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Hey everyone, welcome back to Yapping with Michael. Today I'm gonna talk about the subject of whether I care about how people see me and whether I think it's right that people care about how others see each other.

大家好，欢迎回到“Michael聊聊”。今天我要谈论的主题是，我是否在乎别人怎么看我，以及我是否认为人们在乎对彼此的看法是否正确。

To answer my own question, do I really care about how people see me? No, most of the time I really don't care how people see me. Now, it also depends on who or what we're talking about here. Personality-wise, maybe a little bit. I'll get into that depending on the situations. Most people, I really just don't care, or friends or chill, it's—I'm friends with them. I can comfortably be myself around them. Maybe if I ever meet a girl I like, then I'll start caring a little bit about how I'm perceived by her, but we'll get into that later.

回答我自己的问题，我真的在乎别人怎么看我吗？不，大多数时候我真的不在乎别人怎么看我。当然，这也取决于我们在谈论谁或什么。性格方面也许有一点，我会根据情况来谈谈。对大多数人来说，我真的不在乎，我只是他们的朋友，和他们在一起很轻松。我可以在朋友面前做真实的自己。如果我遇到我喜欢的女孩，也许我会开始在乎她对我的看法，但我们以后再谈这个。

So, starting off with appearance. Now, this is the part where I feel personally that a lot of people are self-conscious about. A lot of people care about the way they dress. I've had friends ask me, for example, "How do you think this dress looks on me?" "How do you think this tuxedo, this suit looks on me?" "How about this shirt, these shoes?" People will sometimes ask you how you think they look in those clothes because, first of all, they trust you, right? But also, they don't want to look bad in front of everyone else. Especially if it's a formal event where everyone is wearing a suit or a dress or something very formal, and you come up in something semi-formal, that makes you seem a little bit out of place and that also makes you look embarrassing.

首先，从外貌开始。我觉得挺多人对外貌都很在意。很多人关心自己的穿着。我有朋友问我，比如说，“你觉得我穿这件礼服怎么样？”“你觉得这件燕尾服，这件西装怎么样？”“这件衬衫，这双鞋怎么样？”人们有时会问你他们穿这些衣服怎么样，因为首先，他们信任你，对吧？但也因为他们不想在别人面前看起来很糟糕。尤其是遇到正式的场合，每个人都穿着西装或礼服，而你穿得半正式，这会让你显得有点不合时宜，也让你觉得尴尬。

Now, I'm not saying I really care about those opportunities. I just wear what I have to wear to those events and the rest really just doesn't matter. But some people, they're also really self-conscious about what they wear every day. See, now, there's the type of people who always wear hoodies and sweatpants and stuff like that, and there's the type of people who always wear really wacky clothes. I think, not to say we have to go with the wacky clothes people, but we should be somewhere in a happy medium. You shouldn't care too much about how you look clothes-wise, and it's the same with your facial features.

我对这些场合不是太在意，对我来说就是穿着得体去参加那些活动，其他的真的无所谓。但有些人，他们也非常在意每天穿什么。现在有那种总是穿连帽衫和运动裤的人，还有那种总是穿着非常古怪的衣服的人。我觉得，不是说我们必须选择那些穿古怪衣服的人，但我们应该找到一个中间点。我觉得不必太在意自己穿什么衣服，同样道理也适用于关注自己的长相。

Everyone is unique in their own way. I mean, a lot of people say they want to look like, I don't know, Tom Cruise or some K-pop idol, but I don't think that's necessarily the best thing. Because if you look like them, that doesn't exactly make you them. It doesn't make you a K-pop idol. It won't exactly gain you fans or anything. That's another reason why a lot of people care about how they look—they want to look like a celebrity or something like that. It also happens, like you see it all the time, people with hairstyles that try to match the celebrities. I don't think that's entirely right to do because you should just keep how you look, and that is enough. Keeping how you look is maintaining your own sort of identity. If you look like a celebrity, no one really knows who you are anymore, kind of. But yeah, that's for appearance-wise.

每个人在某种程度上都是独一无二的。很多人说他们想看起来像汤姆·克鲁斯或某个K-pop偶像，但我认为这不一定是最好的选择。因为即便你看起来像他们，也终究不是他们。这不会让你成为K-pop偶像，也不会让你获得粉丝或什么的。很多人关心自己的外貌，是因为他们想看起来像明星。你经常看到这一点，人们模仿明星的发型。我对此并不认同，我觉得做自己，就足够了。保持自己的样子是维护自己身份的一种方式。如果你（试图模仿）像个明星，就没人真正知道你是谁了。但这只是外貌方面的。

For personality-wise, I feel like this is the part where I might care a little bit because I tend to try to act kind and supportive around people outside. Like, when I'm at home, it really just doesn't matter. But when I'm outside anywhere, especially because a lot of you guys know me outside, I try to act as kind as I can, as nice, as supportive, and I'm always trying to be my best self when I'm outside.

在性格方面，我觉得这是我可能会有点在意的地方，因为我在外面总是尽量做到友善和乐于助人。可回到家里，我就比较不拘小节了。因为在外面的时候，想到经常遇到认识我的人，我就尽量表现得尽可能善良、友好、支持，总是努力展示最好的自己。（瞎说什么大实话��）

But other people, they also get a little bit self-conscious about things they do or how people might see them, their personalities, what they do day-to-day. They're always watching themselves, making sure they don't try to make a mistake. For me, being nice and supportive comes pretty easy because at this point, I've been doing it all my life. That's just basically who I am—pat on the back. But some people, they try to make themselves look different than they really are. If you know what I mean, they make themselves try to act different than how they actually want to act or what they actually want to do, and that sometimes gives them a lot of stress because they can never really be themselves around their friends.

但是（我观察到的）一些人，他们也会有点在意自己做的事情，比如别人怎么看他们，他们的性格，他们日常做的事情。他们时刻关注自己，确保自己不犯错。对我来说，善良和支持他人是很容易的，因为截至目前，我一路走来的人生都是这样做的，这基本上就是我自己。但有些人，他们试图让自己看起来与实际不同。你懂我的意思么？他们让自己试图表现得与自己实际的样子不同，或者与他们真正想做的不一样，这有时会给他们带来很大的压力，因为他们永远不能在朋友面前真正做自己。

Also, you just feel kind of guilty, like you're basically lying to everyone around you. Now, it's not that severe, but also—which this leads me into the main takeaway from this topic—it doesn't matter really how you look or your personality. It wouldn't be fun, especially in a friend group, for example, or community, to have everyone be kind and supportive and just all that, and no one really a little different from everyone else personality-wise, or no one dressing weird or wacky. You gotta have some variability in a group, otherwise that group is just gonna be very boring, and eventually everyone's gonna get bored of each other.

此外，我觉得这样也很容易感到有点愧疚，因为这基本上在对周围的每个人撒谎。虽然没有那么严重，但这也引出了这个话题的主要结论。那就是，你的外貌或性格如何，真的没有那么要紧。尤其在一个朋友群体中，或者社区中，大家都善良、支持，没有人性格与众不同，或没有人穿着奇怪或古怪，这样的群体会很无聊，最终大家会彼此厌倦。

Apart from that, I think as long as no one is misinterpreting your identity—which is a different story—you really don't need to care about who you want to look like, or how your facial expressions look, or how you're dressed, or how people try to perceive your personality. All you have to care about is being yourself. The reason for that is if you try to, like I said, if you try to be someone else, that will make you really tired and burnt out. So just remember, always try—I'm looping back to it again—but always try to be yourself and don't mind what everyone else says.

除此之外，我认为只要没有人误解你的身份——这是另一个故事——你真的不需要在意你想看起来像谁，或者你的面部表情如何，或者你的穿着，或者人们如何看待你的性格。你只需要在意做你自己。原因是，如果你试图，正如我所说的，如果你试图成为别人，那会让你非常疲倦和筋疲力尽。所以，记住，总是试着——我又回到了这个话题——但总是试着做自己，不要在意别人怎么说。

Alright, so that's it for today. The end. Bye!

好了，今天就到这里，再见。