‘Twilight Love’: Shanghai’s Lonely and Retired Are Looking for Love
艾莎
上海人民公园著名的相亲角，摄于今年3月。 Qilai Shen for The New York TimesFor Shanghai’s lonely and retired, love is elusive. Divorced or widowed residents gather in a dating corner in People’s Park every weekend looking for a chat. They mill about an Ikea canteen on Tuesdays in search of some fun.对于孤单的上海退休人士来说，爱情难觅。每个周末，这些离异或丧偶的居民聚集在人民公园的相亲角，寻找聊天的机会。每个周二，他们则来到一个宜家的餐厅找消遣。They arrive dressed a little nicer than usual, ready to talk about their virtues, their past lives and the future.他们穿着比平时略微体面一点的衣服，准备谈论自己的优点、过去的生活，还有未来。“I’m simple. I don’t smoke cigarettes or play mahjong,” said Xu Xiaoduo, 70, a twice-divorced former primary-school teacher who volunteers details about his pension (around $1,250 a month) and his dancing abilities (very good).“我这个人很简单。不抽烟，也不打麻将，”现年70岁的徐晓铎（音）说，他曾是一名小学教师，离过两次婚，他主动谈到了自己的退休金和舞技的细节，前者是每月9000元，后者是非常好。“But,” he added with a sigh, “I can’t find true love.” Others share his frustrations, but downplay any yearning to find love. More than a few say they have lost hope.但他叹了口气补充道，“我找不到真正的爱情。”其他人也有与他一样的沮丧，但对爱情的渴望则轻描淡写。不少人说他们已经不抱希望了。It should not be this hard. There are more people in China who are 65 or older than there are in any other country. And Shanghai has more older adults than any other Chinese city. Most of these residents stopped working long ago because China has one of the lowest retirement ages in the world, and many are either widowed or divorced. Everyone seems to be lonely, the children and grandchildren too busy with their own lives to visit.爱情不应该这么难。中国65岁或以上的人口比任何国家都要多。上海上了年纪的人口已超过中国其他城市。由于中国是世界上退休年龄最低的国家之一，这些人当中的大多数早已不再工作，不少人要么丧偶，要么离婚。他们似乎都有些孤独，儿孙们忙于自己的生活，无暇探访。The pool of older singles in China is only becoming bigger. Within the next three decades, the population of people who are 65 or older is expected to reach 400 million, according to the International Monetary Fund.
人民公园的相亲角以吸引父母周末来这里为未婚子女找对象而闻名，现在也成为了老年人的社交中心。 Qilai Shen for The New York Times
人民公园的“相亲市场”主要是针对来这里为未婚子女找对象的父母，它也启发了老年人将公园作为聚会场所的想法。 Qilai Shen for The New York TimesAs people in China live longer and as ideas about love and marriage change, more people are looking for a second, or third, chance at love. To help fill the void, dating shows have popped up with titles like “Not Too Late for Fate.” Online, there are chat rooms, livestreaming matchmakers and datingapps for the old and single.随着中国人寿命的延长，以及爱情和婚姻观念的改变，越来越多的人正在寻找爱情的第二春或第三春。为了填补这一空白，《缘来不晚》等相亲节目应运而生。网上有为单身老年人提供的聊天室、媒人直播间，以及约会应用程序。But there is no substitute for getting together.但没有能代替社交聚会的东西。Every week in Shanghai, hundreds of older adults return to the same designated corners of public parks and, for some reason that no one was able to explain, one dining area at an Ikea in the upscale district of Xuhui, hopeful of meeting a future spouse.每周都有数百名老人抱着遇到未来伴侣的希望，回到公园里的老地方，以及回到一家位于“高大上”的徐汇区的宜家餐厅（为什么是这家餐厅没人知道原因）。The gatherings are social events — people bring karaoke machines and speakers to the park to dance and sing. They bring thermoses to Ikea to fill with free coffee, and sit around birch and plastic white tables swapping stories about their childhoods.这些聚会是社交活动。人们带着卡拉OK机和扬声器来公园唱歌跳舞。他们带着保温杯来到宜家餐厅，装满免费的咖啡，坐在桦木和白色塑料桌子旁，聊起各自的童年往事。There are regulars, like Ma Guoying, 64, who has a warm smile and likes to wear bright colors and large, round glasses. She has spent a lot of time at Ikea and People’s Park over the past several months. Her friend Zhang Xiaolan, 66, has been coming for a decade.这里有一些常客，比如64岁的马国英（音），她笑容亲切，喜欢穿鲜艳的衣服，戴一副大大的圆眼镜。过去几个月里，她在宜家和人民公园度过了很多时光。她的朋友、66岁的张晓兰（音）过去10年一直会来这里。Neither of them has had much luck finding a man. The older ones always seem to want younger women.她俩都没能找到合适的对象。年长的男人似乎总是喜欢年轻女子。But it’s an activity that fills up a few hours of the day.但这是一项可以消磨一天中好几个小时的活动。“If we stay at home 24 hours a day, our brains would deteriorate,” Ms. Ma said. Divorced and retired many years ago, she said it was lonely at home. Her daughter calls only occasionally, mostly just to check on her.
父母们带着未婚的成年子女的履历来人民公园展示。 Qilai Shen for The New York Times
对于上海的老年人来说，在公园聚会是一件不可取代的事。每周都有数百人回到公园里的老地方，希望能遇到未来的伴侣。 Qilai Shen for The New York TimesA leafy plot of land at the center of Shanghai, People’s Park has a long history of serving as a meeting place, first for gamblers, then for student protesters and those hoping to practice their English. Today, it is better known for its “marriage market,” a place where parents return weekend after weekend with relentless optimism about finding a match for their unmarried and childless offspring. They bring résumés with personal details like the height and weight of their children, and they boast of attributes like I.Q. level, university degrees and test scores.绿树成荫的人民公园位于上海市中心，长期以来一直是人们聚会的场所，先是赌徒的聚集地，后来成了学生抗议者和希望练习英语者的聚集地。如今，它又以“婚恋市场”而闻名，一个又一个周末，父母们带着不懈的乐观精神来到这里，希望为他们未婚无孩的子女找到合适的对象。他们带着简历，上面写着孩子的身高和体重等个人资料，还夸耀孩子们的智商水平、大学学位和考试成绩。It seemed only natural that the park could also become a meeting point for another kind of romantic hopeful: the retired and bored.这个公园也很自然而然地成了另一种渴望恋爱者的聚集地：退休的人和无聊的人。“Gradually, someone thought if the children could find a partner, so can the parents,” said Liu Qiyu, who was dressed in a blue velvet corduroy sweatsuit and accessorized with a gold watch, chains and a silk scarf. As older men and women began to crowd around in groups nearby, Mr. Liu explained that he wasn’t looking for someone himself.“渐渐地，有人觉得，如果孩子们能找到伴侣，那父母也能，”刘其宇（音）说。他穿着蓝丝绒运动服，戴着金表、链子和丝巾。当年长的男女开始三五成群地围拢过来，刘其宇解释说他自己并不是在找对象。“I came here once or twice, looking for the other half, but I couldn’t find one,” he said.“我来过一两次，想找另一半，但没找到，”他说。Like the weekend park meet-ups, Tuesdays at Ikea tend to attract people between the ages of 60 and 80 looking for what has become known in China as “twilight love.”就像周末的公园聚会一样，宜家每周二的活动也往往会吸引60到80岁的人，他们寻找在中国被称为“黄昏恋”的爱情。For a few hours in the afternoon, the Swedish furniture retailer has the feel of a social club. The second floor of the store has some of the usual weekday traffic — shoppers who amble through the cafeteria’s metal stanchions picking out the famous meatballs, almond cakes and lingonberry juice. But many more have come for something other than Swedish fare, some bringing their own food and loitering from table to table, pulling chairs up to where friends and acquaintances are seated.在下午的几个小时里，这家瑞典家具零售商给人一种社交俱乐部的感觉。商店二楼有一部分是平日里的那种客流——购物者在自助餐厅的金属架间穿行，挑选著名的肉丸、杏仁蛋糕和越橘汁。但更多的人来到这里不是为了瑞典美食，有些人自带食物，从一张桌子走到另一张桌子，把椅子拉到朋友和熟人坐的地方。In the brightly lit bathroom, off to the side of the shop floor, women gather to gossip. One is putting on lipstick.在大厅另一边灯光很亮的卫生间里，女人们在一起闲聊。一个人在涂口红。
每周二下午，这家宜家餐厅都会成为数十名老年居民聚会的地方。 Qilai Shen for The New York Times
“我很简单。我不抽烟，也不打麻将，”70岁的徐晓铎（音）说。他曾是一名小学教师，离过两次婚。 Qilai Shen for The New York Times
69岁的李志明（音）喜欢在网上购物。“我觉得网上约会不可靠，”他说。 Qilai Shen for The New York TimesOnline dating isn’t really a thing for the men and women here. They have smartphones, or at least they have the means to buy one, but most say they don’t want to search for a partner online.对这里的男女来说，网上约会并不流行。他们有智能手机，或者至少有能力购买智能手机，但大多数人表示，他们不想在网上寻找伴侣。“When it comes to buying things, I go online,” said Li Zhiming, 69, who had styled his black hair with gel and was wearing eyeliner and bell bottoms. “I don’t think online dating is reliable.”“我买东西都在网上，”69岁的李志明（音）说。他画着眼线，穿着喇叭裤，黑发用了啫喱来造型。“我觉得网上约会不可靠。”Mr. Li said his wife had left him and their young son to go abroad in 1996, the early years of China’s reform and economic opening. He has been alone ever since. After retiring from a job as an engineer nine years ago, he started to plan his days with activities. He plays cards, dances to Latin music and can sing.李志明说，他的妻子在1996年离开了他和他们年幼的儿子去了国外，那是中国改革开放的初期。从那以后，他一直孤身一人。九年前从工程师的岗位上退休后，他开始为自己的生活规划各种活动。他打牌，跟着拉丁音乐跳舞，还唱歌。“I have my own apartment, a pension and a healthy body,” Mr. Li said.“我有房、有养老金、身体健康，”李志明说。He said he wanted to find a woman who was “young and beautiful.” In exchange, he promised to cook and take care of her. “I am lonely at home,” he said.他说他想找一个“年轻漂亮”的女人。作为交换，他答应做饭和照顾她。“我在家里很孤独，”他说。Zheng Yue, 70, chose to sit alone and wait for someone to come to her. Like many other women here, she did not want to give her full identity, instead providing the name she used on her public social media account.70岁的郑悦（音）选择独坐，等着有人来搭讪。和这里的许多其他女性一样，她不想透露自己的完整身份，而是提供了她在公共社交媒体账户上使用的名字。Ms. Zheng, whose husband was a former police officer and died from an injury he had suffered years earlier, is looking for a man who is “knowledgeable, sensible, mature, stable, amiable and kind.” Someone, she added, whom she could “hold handswith for a lifetime.”郑悦的前夫是一名警察，多年前因伤去世，她想找一个“博学、通情达理、成熟、稳重、和蔼、善良”的男人。她还说，她想找一个可以“牵手一生”的人。It takes a lot for women to come to these gatherings, she said. They tend to be more shy about finding a new partner.她说，女性参加这些聚会需要付出很大的努力。她们往往更不好意思寻找新伴侣。“We are brave enough to come by ourselves and take the first step.”
“我们有足够的勇气自己过来，迈出第一步。”
张晓兰（音）和马国英（音）是好友，她们穿着粉色衣服来到宜家，和其他老人一起喝下午茶。 Qilai Shen for The New York Times
上海单身老年人的聚会不仅仅是寻找伴侣的机会，也是他们的社交活动。 Qilai Shen for The New York Times
