艺术家北林南 | 永恒夏日的自我探索

“我曾以为游泳池是最安全的地方，但当我走出泳池，放弃安全感，我找到了自由。”

艺术家：北林南

充满活力 Lifeful

2020

布面丙烯 Acylic painting on Canvas

140x200cm

When I was in elementary school, I lived in Singapore. The flat I lived in had a large communal swimming pool. It was on the ground floor, and I could see it from my window. I always made sure no one was there before changing into my swimsuit and heading downstairs. The lobby was always empty in the afternoon. The walkway to the pool was very quiet. There weren't many kids my age living in my flat, and as I went to school by bus, I didn't have any close friends in the neighborhood to hang out with. I didn't speak English, so I always tried to not meet the other residents.

The swimming pool was always empty. I had nowhere to play and no friends, so I often swam alone after school. I liked swimming in empty pools. I was relieved I didn't have to talk to anyone and enjoyed just floating around. Large plants were growing around the pool that I was not used to seeing in Japan, and I always tried to avoid them because it was uncomfortable to step on the leaves with wet feet. Floating in a pool so deep my feet couldn't reach it, I felt safe here. I felt that this big square blue box was my own place.

自由 Freedom

2022

布面丙烯 Acylic painting on Canvas

146x112cm

Most of my happy memories of those days are related to that swimming pool. My younger sister and I used to sit on the children's steps attached to the pool and sing funny songs. My father always swam with me on his days off. In those days, I went to a Japanese school. But I didn't fit in very well. On the school bus, all the children who lived in the same flat sat together. I was always the last to sit alone. I became good at drawing, reading, and playing alone.

I was always afraid to go outside because I didn't want people talking to me in a language I didn't know. I felt like an outsider no matter where I went or what I saw. And I felt I was the only one left behind from the rest of the world. I kept thinking, 'I'm going back home someday, so this isn't the place for me.' However, that empty swimming pool felt like my own territory. The only time I felt freedom was when I was swimming in the pool.

独行 Walk along

2024

纸本丙烯 Acylic painting on paper

100x160cm

After I returned to Japan, I still felt like I was the only one left behind in the world. Even after I returned to elementary school in Japan, I could not become like everyone else. Everyone treated me as a returnee child. I was something different from others, and I always felt like I didn't belong to them. I had a hard time getting used to the class. After entering junior high school, I hid the fact that I used to live in a foreign country. I always tried to be like everyone else.

No matter how many years have passed since then, my childhood memories have existed inside me. It is transformed into a huge dark space and always stays with me quietly. I felt as if my little childhood self still lived in that darkness. After living with this darkness for so many years, the way I see things gradually changes. At first, it was just total darkness, but gradually I started to see many different views.

我们 Us

2023

纸本丙烯 Acylic painting on paper

100x160cm

I lived in Japan until I graduated from the university. After that, I lived in many different places. I met and said goodbye to people and creatures from many countries and learned about many feelings. The big plants that used to frighten me so much started to seem like creatures that were there for me when I was alone. I thought I was safest in the swimming pool, but I realized I could be free if I left my safety behind and went outside. I learned that freedom can be lonely and fun.

Yet, the feeling of swimming in that pool as a child still lingers in my mind. I still remember the feeling that I was the only one left out of the world. And I also remember the freedom that comes with having a place to feel safe, even if it is a small space. I know that feeling of comfort and loneliness. I know the endless vastness of the world. And I know my helplessness and insignificance. I can remember every single feeling I used to have when I was swimming in the pool.

游泳池 Swimming pool

2024
纸本丙烯  Acylic painting on paper

80x100cm

I have always had that pool inside me, and my little self is still swimming alone. I want to leave that view here. I want to tell the little round face of me, "Your feelings have become this painting."

展览自开幕以来，深受广大艺术爱好者的欢迎。这场展览不仅吸引了上海本地艺术爱好者的广泛关注，还吸引了来自世界各地的观众。人们在每一幅作品前驻足欣赏，或沉思、或交流，共同分享着对艺术的热爱和理解。

「泳池边的日子」夏季的回忆与颜色

开幕回顾 | 北林南中国首展「泳池边的日子」

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