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从接到通知书那刻起，我就没打算在学校附近租房，而是决定每天通勤。做出这一决定除了交通比较便利之外，我还期待体验在路上的感觉，而且是近一个月的在路上，这种机会太可遇不可求了。![]()
上课的第一天，为了赶上火车，我五点爬起来了。因为怕赶不上车，其实迷迷糊糊已经醒了一会，只是没来得及查看手机，毕竟早晨床帘透过的微光还挺微妙。等闹铃响后如约起床了。洗漱很快，赶到车站却发现，最近的公交车距离我有六站，心想盘算着坐出租车的。但清晨的公交也许就如同飞驰的列车，抱着这样的期待，开始了等车的八分钟。终于我在计划时间内赶到了火车。进入落座后不久，原定的出发时间晚点了。有时候你以为的柳暗花明，不过是一弯转另道。来都来了，就开始等待吧。幸运的是没等太久，火车出发了。你看人就是这样，很容易满足，只要比最坏好一点，就是还好。上车了，男人很多，年轻人很多，中年男人也不少，还夹杂着一个抽烟的男人。他随手点燃一根烟，我努力屏息避免吸进他的二手烟。不一会我就放弃了，也无法寄希望于男人停止吸烟。我只好掏出手机给先生发信息，抱怨起这呛鼻的烟味，还有这拥挤凌乱的车厢。其实这一切是我做的选择，先生完全没有参与。但是结果不如人所愿时，我们总会习惯性怪点什么，比如我此刻把不适归咎于先生。发完信息闭目了三分钟，实在站不住，想着还是写点什么，然后就是此刻的这些文字。不一会列车员敲门了示意我让出位置。视线转向车外，天更明亮了，我也快到了，烟味也消散了。![]()
直到我昨天才发现自己一直绕路了。原本可以两个小时的路程，我硬生生去走需要三个小时的路线，而且还浑然不觉。这样的感觉就像温水煮青蛙一样，完全不知道自己是可以跳出来的。信息太复杂的社会，信息的壁垒反而更多了，很容易处在自己的一方小天地里洋洋自得而忘乎所以。不过我必须承认正因为绕路费时我见到了不一样的风景，感受了清晨五点的静，当然因为瞬时的顿悟亦或说偶然的发现，我还体会到了六点的闹。所以我也无需去懊悔自己浪费的时光，毕竟在某种程度上，那些经历也不是虚度。人生没有白走的路，我一直如此地坚定着。生活总会奖励那些一直向前的人，也许此刻没有果实可以摘取，但是有发芽的叶，有待放的花苞也不错。即使这些都没有，只有一缕风也是馈赠，夏天的风啊，多难能可贵。而且有些树本身就没有果实，只有叶。就如有时候走条没有终点的道路一般，没有必要去抱怨没有具体的收获，因为过程本身，经历本身就足够丰盈了。不知道是不是这几天哲学理论课的启发，感觉自己一开始写就洋洋洒洒，仿佛化身为了高深哲学家了。但是我也清楚地知道，我其实是一个在行进中的人，哲学家们也是，不过他们是对生活有着更加细致入微的观察并有鞭辟入里的思考及坚定果决的行动。而我还在路上，还在摸索中，学习的日子真的很不赖，你看，我到站了。Today is the first day of class, and in order to catch the train, I got up at five o'clock. Because I was afraid of missing the bus, I actually woke up in a daze for a while, but I didn't have time to check my phone, after all, the faint light passing through the bed curtain in the morning is quite subtle. I clearly woke up as scheduled after the alarm went off. I washed up quickly, but when I arrived at the station, I found that the nearest bus was six stops away from me, and I thought to myself about taking a taxi. But I guessed that the early morning bus might be like a speeding train, waiting for the bus for eight minutes with such anticipation. Finally I arrived at the train within the planned time. Shortly after entering the seat, I found the originally scheduled departure time was delayed. Sometimes what you think is just a twist of fate. Since I have arrived, there was no better choice than waiting. Fortunately, I didn't wait too long as the train departed. You see, people are like this, easily satisfied, as long as they are a little better than the worst, they are still okay. I got on the car, there were many men including young people, middle-aged men, and one smoking men. He lit a cigarette casually, and I tried to hold my breath to avoid inhaling his secondhand smoke. I gave up soon and couldn't hope that men would stop smoking. So I had to take out my phone and message my husband, complaining about the pungent smell of smoke and the crowded and messy carriage. In fact, all of this was a choice I made, and he did not participate at all. But when the outcome is not as expected, we tend to habitually blame something, such as me blaming my husband for the discomfort at this moment. After sending the message, I closed my eyes for three minutes and couldn't stand still. I thought about writing something, and then it was these words at this moment. After a while, the train attendant knocked on the door to signal me to give up my space. My gaze turned to the outside of the train, the sky became brighter, I was almost there, and the smell of smoke had dissipated.I didn't realize until yesterday that I had been taking a detour. I took the three hour route without realizing it, which could have been a two-hour journey. This feeling is like boiling a frog in warm water, completely unaware that one can jump out. In a society where information is too complex, there are even more barriers to information, making it easy to become complacent and forget oneself in one's own small world. However, I must admit that it was precisely because of the detour that I saw a different scenery and felt the stillness of five o'clock in the morning. Of course, due to a momentary realization or accidental discovery, I also experienced the excitement of six o'clock. So I don't need to regret the time I wasted, after all, to some extent, those experiences were not wasted. There is no path in life that is in vain, I have always been so determined. Life always rewards those who keep moving forward. Perhaps there is no fruit to pick at this moment, but there are sprouting leaves and flower buds waiting to bloom, which are also good. Even if none of these are present, just a wisp of wind is a gift. The summer breeze is so precious and difficult. And some trees themselves have no fruit, only leaves. Just like sometimes taking a road without an end, there is no need to complain about not having concrete gains, because the process itself and the experience itself are already abundant.I don't know if it's the inspiration from the philosophy theory class these days, but I feel like I started writing with great fluency, as if I have transformed into a profound philosopher. But I also know very well that I am actually a person on the move, and so are philosophers, but they have a more meticulous observation of life, insightful thinking, and firm and decisive actions. And I'm still on the road, still exploring. The days of studying are really good, you see, I've arrived at the station.![]()
7.12不知名的肠粉→味道一般就是平常吃到的味道。7.14五般来老上海馄饨→馄饨的味道没啥特别没有我学校附近的好吃。7.17不知名煎饼→味道还行，老板的慵懒令人印象深刻。7.18不知名的梅干菜肉包+肉饼→真的难吃，但是我怕上午扛不住饿吃完了。7.19杭州小笼包，味道不错，热情的同学还提前把钱付了，太感动了。7.22想起杭州小笼包店有皮蛋瘦肉粥，一进店里来了一笼小笼包还有一份皮蛋瘦肉粥，但是谁知道瘦肉粥是一锅不是一碗啊，对于不喜浪费的我来说，这顿早餐是一场灾难无疑了。7.24老香港蛋糕的椰蓉包和肉排包，擅自面包带入了教室，引起了同学们极大的不满，毕竟香味扑鼻。7.25五般来馄饨店的肠粉，这个肉肠粉的肉可能只是客串。7.28袁记云饺馄饨面→味道还不错，主要是大雨阻挡步伐，不然我应该会选择其他的。7.29老香港老婆饼，因为刚好从六号口出来，刚好遇见他们店开门了。7.30还是老香港的老婆饼，因为我电脑包里塞太多东西了，我不想再奔波着去嗦粉了。今天吃早餐时才惊觉，这个月要结束了，而我当初计划的每天不同的早餐最终没能实现，而是变成了固定的那么一两样。此刻，我发现这个吃早餐就像我们谈恋爱一样。当年没谈恋爱时，总是踌躇满志，想着我一定要多谈几场轰轰烈烈的恋爱，去体会各种滋味。但是刚谈了一两场恋爱，回望过往，有时完全不明白那时的自己为什么如此昏庸识人不明，有时则是怀念遗失的零星温存，有时还有的是直接悔恨那一次莫名其妙的顿足。总之慢慢地，我们务实了，其实更确切地说我们更明白自己要什么了。At this moment, I realize that eating breakfast is like being in a relationship. When I wasn't in a relationship back then, I was always full of ambition, thinking that I had to have more passionate relationships and experience various flavors. But after just falling in love once or twice, looking back on the past, sometimes I completely don't understand why I was so ignorant at that time, sometimes I miss the scattered warmth lost, and sometimes I directly regret that inexplicable pause.In short, gradually we have become pragmatic, and more precisely, we have a better understanding of what we want.声明：本公众号部分资料是网络资源的整合，只为交流分享，如有侵权请联系删除，转载请完整备注。本文图片及文字皆为小予君原创。
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