原荷兰生命公寓总经理，陪你聊聊“认知症”（七）

 荷兰护士玛丽特的博客：

红酒和口红 

但现在，没有红酒了。我问她为什么红酒对她如此重要。她表示，红酒实在太美味，准备出门去附近的商店买一点。无论我说什么怎么转移她的注意力，似乎都无法打消她的这个念头。我试图解释说商店已经关门了，但她坚持认为这家商店还开着。毫无疑问，她提到的是过去的店名，那时候店名都是店主的名字。

这样的解释是徒劳的 

经验告诉我，这样的解释是徒劳的，所以我也就随她去了。她走回房间拿了外套，打算去商店。我想实践会证明一切的，等着看她拿好大衣回来准备离开时会发生什么。与此同时，我继续准备饭菜。过了好一会儿，她还在房间里。饭菜做好了，我决定问她要不要来吃饭。我轻轻地打开她的房门，发现她正站在衣柜旁，拿出一件外套准备穿上。

我向她打招呼：“下午好，饭菜已经准备好了。你想和我一起用餐吗？”她回答：“已经这么晚了吗？帮我把大衣挂回衣橱吧，我马上就来。” 她看着我，我立刻明白了她为什么在房间里待了一会儿。她的嘴唇涂上了鲜艳的粉红色口红。当然了她从不素颜出门！以前不会，现在也不会！

她急着打扮自己，完全忘了还得出去买瓶红酒！后来，我们一边愉快地聊天，一边一起走到客厅吃晚饭。在忘记了红酒和口红之后，我们也度过了一个愉快的夜晚，即使没有红酒！

Dealing with Irritation and Frustration in Dementia

People with dementia can sometimes react with irritation or anger when things don't go their way (frustration). This can happen in the early stages, but it can also occur in someone who has been living with dementia for a long time. What can you do to reduce the feeling of irritation in the person with dementia? And how can you prevent it from getting worse?

Cause of Irritation and Frustration in Dementia

People with dementia may sometimes snap at their loved ones unexpectedly or react irritably when you only want to help. If you notice this, it is important to address it. The sooner you take action, the better.

First and foremost, it's important to understand where these intense reactions come from. Having dementia is not easy. You can feel very lost, especially if you realize that you will not get better. This can lead to sadness about being ill, and you might take out these feelings on those close to you.

However, the disease itself can also make someone irritable. When parts of your brain are damaged, you may exhibit different behavior, even if you don't want to. This can happen even if you care deeply for the other person.

Recognizing Frustration and Irritation

Irritated behavior is often easy to recognize, such as snapping or saying something mean. Frustration, the emotion you feel when something doesn't work out, is harder to identify. The following examples can be recognized as frustration:

· Getting upset over mistakes and memory problems

· Crying over things that previously weren’t important

· Defending oneself and blaming others for things that go wrong

· Snapping and frequently being grumpy

· Picking fights and criticizing others a lot

· Getting angry at noise or too much activity. Note: Noise or activity can really be overwhelming for people with dementia

What Can You Do About Irritation and Frustration Due to Dementia?

· Take the Feelings of the Person with Dementia Seriously: It can be difficult to talk about it together, especially when dementia makes it hard for them to express what is wrong. Respond calmly and with understanding. If you can't manage that at the moment (which is very human), step away from the situation for a while.

· Identify Triggers of Frustration: Try to determine if there are specific moments that trigger feelings of frustration. Is it boredom? Or is it due to an overwhelming environment with too much noise and too many people? Keep a list of activities or situations that bring relaxation versus those that cause agitation or anger.

·Consider Practical Adjustments at Home: Sometimes, a practical solution can eliminate the source of frustration. If making phone calls is difficult, consider using an assistive device, such as an easy-to-use phone with photos of all contacts (look at other tips in the chapter: ‘Checklist: Safe and Comfortable Living at Home with Dementia’).

· Ask Your Loved One to Help with a Simple Task: Engage in activities like planting seedlings together, folding laundry, or doing other tasks they can still manage. This helps reinforce a sense of control and usefulness.

· Ensure You’re Not Rushed: Feeling rushed can increase frustration in others. Is it really a problem if something takes a bit longer?

· Physical Activity Remains Important: Getting fresh air and going for a walk together can provide a positive feeling, even if it's on a subconscious level.

策划：秦林林

编辑：周小意

编审：姚倩玉、云京、安德烈·雅阁