NB: This may not be a word-for-word transcript.
Why It’s So Hard to Admit You’re Wrong
When was the last time you admitted you were wrong about something? If you’re like most people, it’s a challenge… it goes against all kinds of internal alarms. We know, logically, that acknowledging our faults and owning up to our mistakes is a good thing. It’s part of growing and learning. But emotionally? It can feel like a battle. In this video, we look at the psychology behind why it’s so tough to say the words: “I was wrong.” We’ll explore what holds us back, what’s at risk, and ultimately, why it’s so important that we try.
#1 Fear of Judgment
Admitting you’re wrong means putting yourself out there. You’re telling people, “Hey, I made a mistake.” And that can invite criticism or disappointment. No one wants to come across as unreliable, uninformed, or weak. So, out of fear of what others might think, it feels easier to stay quiet or try to defend a position, even if you know deep down that you’re wrong. In reality, though, most people aren’t waiting to tear you down. In fact, they respect honesty and the courage it takes to be accountable.
#2 Threat to Self-Esteem
The mere thought of admitting you’re wrong can bring up insecurities and self-doubt, which can be uncomfortable and even a little painful. It feels much safer to defend your actions or dismiss the issue altogether. But this habit of avoiding accountability to protect your self-esteem ultimately weakens it. When self-worth hinges on the need to be right, your confidence gets fragile, you become more concerned with image than growth. But confronting this discomfort is essential. In doing so, you prove to yourself that you’re tough enough to face the truth. And that reinforces a much stronger foundation.
#3 Attachment to Identity
We have a tendency to attach certain qualities to our identity, such as being fair, responsible, or kind, and admitting fault can certainly challenge those qualities. Simply put, it’s hard to reconcile who we believe we are with the reality of our actions. If you see yourself as fairly logical, and someone points out an irrational decision you made, it doesn’t just feel like a mistake; it feels like a personal attack. But here’s the thing… making a mistake doesn’t erase your qualities or define you as a whole. It actually creates space for a more well-rounded sense of self that can handle both successes and slip-ups, which is ultimately more fulfilling and realistic.
#4 Need for Control
Being right feels like being in control – of a situation, a conversation, or even your own life. Admitting you’re wrong can seem like giving up control. It’s the realization that things didn’t go as planned. When you deny or avoid responsibility, you try to maintain a sense of stability. But clinging to control doesn’t necessarily make life more stable. It usually does the opposite, as it keeps you from addressing issues directly and resolving them. The truth is, control doesn’t come from never being wrong; it comes from learning and adapting.
#5 Cognitive Dissonance
Another factor that makes it hard to admit mistakes is cognitive dissonance – the mental tension we experience when our actions don’t align with our beliefs or values. When you’ve done something that goes against your principles, admitting it brings that discomfort to the surface. And while it’s easier to rationalize the mistake or ignore it than to face the truth that you acted outside your values, this avoidance only deepens the internal conflict. Now, when you acknowledge that your actions didn’t match your beliefs, you pave the way for better choices in the future. It lets you align your actions with your values in a more genuine way, and this can feel far more satisfying and authentic.
#6 Emotional Investment
When deeply invested in something, a cause, a belief, or a relationship, admitting you might be wrong can feel like discarding all the time, effort, and energy you’ve put in. The more emotionally attached you are, the harder it becomes to recognize any faults, as doing so may seem like an admission that your efforts were in vain. People often cling to their initial choices, even if those choices no longer serve them, simply because they’ve committed so much to them. However, being able to step back and reassess isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of growth. When you recognize that an initial direction wasn’t the best choice, you create a new path, one that better aligns with your current needs and goals. This helps you redirect your energy, promoting greater flexibility and a more fulfilling outcome.
Recognizing and admitting you’re wrong may feel difficult, but it’s one of the most valuable habits to develop. Owning up to your mistakes allows you to release the weight of denial, foster stronger relationships, and gain respect from those around you. It helps you create space for growth, learning, and genuine self-improvement. Instead of fearing mistakes, you can approach them as opportunities to connect with others more honestly and to do things in a way that reflects your true values. Taking this step can ultimately bring clarity, strengthen your character, and open the door to new possibilities.
