In my younger years, I made many foolish decisions and said things I now struggle to understand. Looking back, I realize much of this was driven by a desire not wanting to be left out. I often pretended to be someone else, rather than embracing my true self. Grown up I gradually realized that was partly due to a lack of self-awareness, compounded by low self-esteem. Years spent feeling overwhelmingly exhausted and depressed. I remember one night distinctly, questioning whether to continue the pretense or finally accept and be myself. I understood that living a lie wasn't sustainable.
From that point, I started working towards self-acceptance, step by step, learning to be true to myself and showing my real personality. Reflecting on it now, I see that the friendships I formed while pretending to be someone else, all didn't last. However, those who remained in my life, with whom I was genuine from the start, are still close to me today. I believe for many people it’s been a struggle, at least some point in their life, that to stay true-self, because there are just so many voices surrounding everywhere everyday. But I finally know that now, any day spent not being authentic is a day wasted.
Studying Alfred Adler opened up a new world to me. He brought up, “Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.”
Learning to embrace and accept myself has been a longstanding challenge in my life. I often wish I could go back and advise my younger self differently, but the truth is, I might not have taken my own advice. I guess sometimes, experience is the only way to change…
