丁姐读女人之 424-抛砖引玉话沟通

很多经历网恋的朋友都问过我，那些成功的网恋的人，每天都谈什么，每次遇到问这样问题的人，我都会难免有一些纠结，毕竟，对于我这样的喜欢写作，也善于表达的人来说，沟通，尤其是遇上一个棋逢对手的人的沟通，那真的会感觉很是酣畅。

我们为什么网恋？我们为什么想恋爱，我们为什么生活得风平浪静，但是还是心底里对婚姻生活有着总也丢不掉的期许？

其实，每天谈什么，其实不需要刻意的技巧，只需要把你想说的话，从心里拿出来，慢慢梳理出来就行了，你今天干了什么，由此想到了什么，让你的所有的言行，时刻和跟你沟通的人有着互动就行。

也就是说，你为什么要网恋，你想遇到一个什么样的人，你对未来的期许是什么，你想为你未来的伴侣做什么，这些都在沟通中慢慢的牵引出来，你怎么想的，你就怎么去表达出来就好了。

今天，我就特地拿出一个人的几封信件，给大家展示一下，让有些发愁不知道每天说什么的人，感受下最基础的沟通方式

先简单说下女士的故事：

她是内地人，年轻时候来到深圳，遇见了自己的老公，两个人一起奋斗，挣下了一定的资产，因为深圳和香港很近，考虑到孩子的教育，加上手上有点积蓄，于是她和老公以投资的方式，成了香港的居民。

到了香港以后，因为一直没有什么真正可以为之奋斗的项目，丈夫就还在内地赚钱，她带着孩子长期生活在香港，可以想象，时间久了后，有钱的男人，聚少离多没有沟通的生活，丈夫的出轨成了家庭破裂的导火索，于是，离婚后的她，带着有些狂躁症的孩子，开始了单身的生活

每隔一段时间，她还是会到深圳来享受按摩和美容，一次在美容院里，她的一个长期的给她护理的美容师，告诉她，自己不久就要辞职外嫁了，这引起了她的兴趣，她要了我们的电话，从听到消息，到直接到我们当时的办公室，简单的咨询过后，她交了钱，然后她当场交了费，定了酒店，因为，第二天，她就要去照相馆把相片照了，好登记资料。

她很快就遇到了来自欧洲的一位先生，经历了那位欧洲白人先生到访，还有她的去对方国家的旅居，她最终，和孩子移民到了欧洲，目前在那里，已经生活了好多年。

下面是我随意的选出的几个类型，为了方面单身朋友的学习和揣摩，为了防止篇幅过长，加上现在翻译软件也很实用，中文部分我就不放了，希望能给到，不知道怎么沟通的你，有一点小小的启示：

一：信件

Dear XX

Now it is 4 am. I went to bed very early, and it is 11 pm. I woke up again but can’t fall asleep. So I started to write to you. It has been a long time since last time I wrote to you. I really miss the days when I write to you and hear from you. It always could bring me a satisfactory sense, and expectations, and waiting...because of the 6-hour time difference, we can’t chat at the same time, so I prefer keeping up correspondence.

July 1st is when Hong Kong returned to China. There are three and half days’ holiday. It started from last Thursday, so I had biorhythm disorder. When I came back home, I fely very tired, and I slept until 9pm. After having dinner, I did some cleaning and slept at 1am. But I have been lying on the bed and can’t fall asleep. I thought it was because I slept too much in the afternoon. So I got up to tidy my wardrobe. And I felt sleepy until 6 am. But I slept until 2 pm that day. It is a very happy thing that you could sleep for 12 hours. I planned to go to Shenzhen last Friday, but I didn’t go there until Saturday.

In the Saturday afternoon. I met with friend, and I mentioned you with her. She asked me how to balance our differences. I answered that I am talkaholic and like to talk too much, but you didn’t say much. Besides, there is language barriers.

I am keen on traveling, and like to travel a lot. You like playing football. Apart from working, the thing you like is football. But I have little knowledge of football. But I like watching football matches, such as the football World Cup, Eurpean Championship, and the World Championships, and other wonderful scoring editions that TV stations play. When it comes to football, I am also interested in it but I know nothing about it. Would you please be my football teacher and teach me some football knowledge? Being with you, I don’t want to be an idiot, haha, I do not have high requirement. We can play it to the point of incisively and vividly. Do you agree with me in this balanced way? friend has been supporting and encouraging me to keep on. And she said

As for traveling, it is not only my hobby but also costs a lot. I hope I could turn it into work, which could settle many problems. We have much in common. We all like nature, outdoor activities, and healthy life. And she said that as long as I give you all my heart and make some great effort for our love, we could finally get our happiness. Now I am going to have breakfast.

Yesterday (Sunday) is the kindergarten graduation ceremony of my niece. Her parents are not free. So I will accompany her to take part in it. It has been a long time since I saw so many lovely children. Since my daughter grew up, I have not taken part in such kind of activity. The whole ceremony takes 4 hours (from 8:30am to 12:30 pm). After we had lunch at home, we were so sleepy, so we slept.

This time I will go to Denmark and Finland. I will go there and come home alone by air. I will take transfer flight in Dubai. It is the first time that I have gone abroad by air on my own. In the past, I went on business with my assistant. All is arranged by her. And I also traveled with my daughter before. But it was also arranged by her. I was just responsible for paying money. She has become more capable because of my letting go. In the future, I would like to follow you. Haha...

二：聊天

As a matter of fact, I am unsentimental and not good at expressing my own feelings very well. Poor communication and lack of the skill of dealing with the relationship led to the failure of my first marriage.But now I am trying my best to learn this kind of knowledge. I sincerely hope my next relationship would be happy and everlasting. My daughter said my Finnish is more standard than my English. Everybody needs to learn. I am willing to study hard for you.

三：见面中女士特地给男士写的信件

My Dear xx,

Good morning! Did you sleep well last night? Did you dream about me last night? You are so wonderful! You have been in the air for 10 years, and there are 3-hour jet lag. But I am so surprised that you are so spirited and do not feel sleepy while taking a walk in the Victoria Wharf.I felt sorry to make you feel tired, and I thought I should let you have a rest earlier last night. 

Yesterday we finally saw each other for real. You are much more handsome and nice than I imagine. I feel very happy. Could you feel my excitement from my big big smiles? Haha...Although there is the language barrier and we could not communinate better, yet both of us could get along well and happily with each other. Do you think so? When you do not smile, you look a little serious. Please smile more, my dear. Do you know how charming you are when you smile? I like your smiles. And I want you to be happy. 

It is a miracle that we met each other.Maybe it is the God's arrangement. Even though we have just known each other for a month, you have made such a brave decision to fly to HK to meet me. I know for you this required much courage.I feel greatly moved for what you have done. Thank you so much for what you have done for me! You are a very rational person.I sincerely hope you could open the door to your heart, and let me enter into it.

When I waited for you at the airport,I had no any pressure and worries, because you are just my family. You could bring me a warm and comfortable feeling. In your arms, I could feel your joy, and sense of security. 

It has been a long time since I took a ride on the ferris wheel.When my daughter was still a little girl, I often went there with her. When we took a ride on the ferris wheel together yesterday, I felt like a 18-year-old girl. And your smiles made you feel like a boy. You are so amazing! 

Unless it is the working requirement, I seldom wear high-heeled shoes.It was the first time that I wore the high-heeled shoes for such a long time yesterday. I  could feel you are considerate and thoughtful. Thank you so much! I think today I will wear flattie. 

This is my schedule for us:

First, appreciate the panorama of HK in Wang Guan Dong. 

Second, climb to the top of Yun Jian pavilion. We could enjoy the beautiful view of HK.

Third, take the half-hill automate escalator.

Fourth, go to eat the delicious food. Haha...do you like to eat?

Fifth, apply for the registration of  licence of going to Shenzhen in the hotel.

我有意识的把信件，聊天，见面中各自的挑选了一个样子给大家，希望我的这些抛转引玉，让有些发愁不知道每天说什么的人，感受下最基础的沟通方式，其实换个思路来说，我们的每次的话题，又何尝不是因为你的话题的那块砖，勾起了对方想续写后面感触的那块玉，你只要记得砖与玉的关系，慢慢的，不知道说什么的你，就会慢慢的开始自然的表达。当然，如果你想通过学习去了解更多的恋爱知识和沟通，也可以直接联系我们。

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