Language is the soul of cultural expression. For a multilingual writer, the most fundamental decision is about which language to write in. Many non-native speakers of English are drawn to it for its practical advantages and artistic possibilities. As a native Chinese writing in English, I remain fascinated by this matter, for it touches the very essence of culture and identity.语言是文化表达的灵魂。对于一位多语种作家而言，最根本的决定在于选择用哪种语言进行写作。许多非英语母语者因其实际优势和艺术可能性而被英语所吸引。身为以中文为母语却用英语写作的作者，我对此事仍充满好奇，因为它触及了文化和身份的本质。
I was born and raised on the banks of the Yangtze River and my tongue bathed in the cadences of Nanjing dialect; I didn't start learning English until I was 22.我出生在长江之畔，并在那里长大，我的舌尖浸润在南京方言的韵律之中；直到22岁，我才开始学习英语。 Why write in English then, you may ask. More than 30 years ago, when I was living in Oxford, England, a Chinese publisher invited me to write a book about the Western image of Mao Zedong, which was planned to coincide with the centenary of his birth. I eagerly accepted, excited to discover if and how Western views of the chairman would mirror broader Western perceptions of China.你可能会问，那为什么要用英语写作呢？30多年前，当我住在英国牛津时，一位中国出版商邀请我撰写一本关于西方毛泽东形象的书，计划与他的百年诞辰相契合。我欣然接受，急于探究西方对这位主席的看法是否会以及如何反映西方对中国的更广泛认知。 Painstaking research ensued as I spent countless hours in the Bodleian Library and interviewed Westerners from various walks of life. However, my completed manuscript didn't make it past Chinese censors, for being "too negative". While grieving for my stillborn brainchild, I came to a decision: from that moment on, I would write in English, a language that would free me from the grip of censorship. To seal my decision, I even began keeping a diary in English.我随后进行了艰苦卓绝的研究，在博德利图书馆度过了无数个小时，并采访了来自各行各业的西方人。然而，我完成的稿件因“过于负面”而未能通过中国审查机构的审核。在为这个胎死腹中的作品哀悼时，我做出了决定：从那一刻起，我将用英语写作，这是一种能让我摆脱审查束缚的语言。为了坚定我的决心，我甚至开始用英语写日记。 And writing in English turned out to be a liberation – politically and creatively. My adopted language allowed me to explore and express thoughts and ideas in ways that Chinese didn't always permit. For example, in my memoir "Socialism is Great!", a sex scene would have been far less explicit had I written it in Chinese.事实证明，用英语写作是一种政治上和创作上的解放。我所采用的语言让我能够以中文并不总是允许的方式探索和表达思想和观点。例如，在我的回忆录《社会主义好！》中，如果我用中文写作，那么性爱场景的描述就会含蓄得多。 Our culture, deeply influenced by Confucianism, often treats sexual matters with prudence and veils romantic feelings in layers of restraint. The relationship between a writer and their working language is always intriguing and complex, a dance with one's culture and identity. For me, English represents hope. At 16, I was taken out of school and put to work in a rocket factory by my poverty-stricken family. Bored to death while greasing machine parts, I decided to teach myself English as a means of escape. Not particularly gifted, I struggled to learn a new language, but persevered. My only sanctuary within the factory compound was a rubbish dump around the corner from my workshop. So whenever I could, I would go there to study. There, despite the buzzing flies and the stench rising from rotten food, I could feel the walls around me crumbling and my horizons expanding. English changed my life; I didn't just learn my ABC, but an entire package of Western culture.深受儒家思想影响的中国文化，往往对性事持谨慎态度，并将浪漫情感隐藏在层层克制之下。作家与其工作语言之间的关系总是引人入胜且复杂，是与自身文化和身份共舞的过程。对我来说，英语代表着希望。16岁时，因家境贫寒，我被迫辍学，在一家火箭工厂工作。在给机器零件抹油的过程中，我无聊至极，决定自学英语作为逃离的方式。我并无特别天赋，在学习新语言的过程中举步维艰，但坚持不懈。工厂区里，我唯一的避风港是车间拐角处的一个垃圾堆。因此，只要有机会，我就会去那里学习。在那里，尽管苍蝇嗡嗡作响，腐烂的食物散发出恶臭，我却能感受到周围的壁垒在崩塌，视野在开阔。英语改变了我的生活；我不仅学会了字母表，还掌握了一整套西方文化。
That said, I don't believe that writing in another language makes me any less Chinese. Identity is rooted in one's cultural background and personal experience. By the time I picked up English in my 20s, my sensibility – indeed, my core identity – had already been shaped. It is Chinese, and will remain so. In my writing, I deliberately borrow from Chinese syntax, metaphors and antiquated sayings, hoping to create a unique voice that reflects my hybrid identity.也就是说，我并不认为用另一种语言写作就会让我变得不那么中国。身份根植于文化背景和个人经历之中。在我20多岁开始学习英语时，我的感性——事实上，我的核心身份——已经定型。它是中国的，并将永远如此。在我的写作中，我刻意借鉴中文句法、隐喻和古老谚语，希望能创造出一种反映我混合身份的独特声音。 Jhumpa Lahiri, the American writer born to Bengali parents in England, also found liberation in a new language. In her memoir In Other Words, written in Italian, she reflects on her journey of learning the language, and how she feels a sense of freedom in Italian that she does not in English.朱帕·拉希里（Jhumpa Lahiri）是一位出生于英国的孟加拉裔美国作家，她也从一种新的语言中找到了解放。在她的回忆录《In Other Words》中，她用意大利语写下了自己学习这门语言的过程，以及她如何在意大利语中感受到一种在英语中没有的自由感。
Writers choose or reject languages for different reasons. In a poignant essay titled "To speak is to blunder", my fellow Chinese-born writer Yiyun Li describes how she "disowned" her mother tongue as a way to detach herself from certain cultural and emotional burdens. For Vladimir Nabokov, the Russian emigre author renowned for his lyricism in English, the switch to writing in a second language was an experience tinged with sorrow. He famously said in an interview: "My private tragedy, which cannot, indeed should not, be anybody's concern, is that I had to abandon my natural language, my natural idiom".作家们出于不同的原因选择或拒绝某种语言。在一篇题为《To speak is to blunder》的感人文章中，我的同胞作家李翊云描述了她如何“放弃”母语，以此摆脱某些文化和情感负担。对于以英语抒情著称的俄罗斯移民作家弗拉基米尔·纳博科夫（Vladimir Nabokov）来说，改用第二语言写作是一种夹杂着悲伤的经历。他在一次著名的访谈中说：“我的个人悲剧，确实不应该，也不可能是任何人所关心的，那就是我不得不放弃我的自然语言，我的自然表达。” My own choice of English was forced upon me by circumstance. My switch to English was challenging and has been rewarding, but I have also paid a price: losing a potential readership in my motherland. In a globalised world where an increasing number of Chinese-born writers live and work abroad, more are also writing in English, notably Xiaolu Guo, Yang Huang and Ling Ma. For these authors, English may serve as a bridge, a way to communicate across cultures while still infusing their work with elements of their Chinese identity. To which I say: may a hundred flowers bloom. Language, like identity, need not be singular or fixed. Writing in English has meant both loss and gain for me – it is a way of expressing my Chinese soul to the world.我选择英语是环境使然。转向英语写作对我来说是一项挑战，但也有所收获，不过我也付出了代价：失去了在祖国潜在的读者群。在全球化背景下，越来越多出生在中国的作家在国外生活和工作，其中也有越来越多的人用英语写作，尤其是郭小橹、黄杨和马凌云。对于这些作者来说，英语可能是一座桥梁，一种跨越文化进行交流的方式，同时也在他们的作品中融入了中国身份的元素。对此，我想说：百花齐放春满园。语言，如同身份一样，不必是单一或固定的。用英语写作对我来说既有失去也有收获——这是我向世界表达中国灵魂的一种方式。
