在社区外面生活有时候对我很沉重，因为我看到人们铁石心肠，相互践踏。这非常伤我的心，有时候甚至有生理反应，我感觉像个孩子一样无助。请告诉我要如何应对。
OSHBuddha：
世界上总是有各种问题。这个世界一直存在，也将会存在下去。如果你开始这样解决：改变环境，改变人们，设想一个乌托邦，改变政府、体制、经济、政治、教育，你将会迷失。这个坑被称为政治。许多人就是这样浪费了自己的生命。
这一点要非常清晰：目前你唯一能帮助的人就是你自己。现在你谁也帮不了。那也许只是一种分心，只是头脑的诡计。看到你自己的问题，看到你自己的烦恼，看到你自己的模式，首先尝试改变自己。
这发生在许多人身上：一旦他们对某种宗教、静心、祈祷产生兴趣，他们的头脑立刻告诉他们：“你安静地坐在这里干什么？这个世界需要你。有那么多贫苦的人们，有那么多冲突、暴力、侵略。你在神庙里祷告干什么？去帮助人们。”
但你怎么可能帮助那些人？你就和他们一样。你也许会给他们带来更多的问题，但你无法帮助他们。所有的革命就是这样失败的。至今还没有革命成功过，因为革命者在同一条船上。
有宗教性的人是一个明白这一点的人——“我非常渺小，我非常有限。基于这么有限的能量，我能改变自己就已经是个奇迹了。”如果你能改变自己，如果你是一个焕然一新的生命——新的活力在你的眼里闪耀，新的歌声在你的心中唱响——那时你也许能够帮助别人，因为你有了可以分享的东西。
前几天，一个门徒给我寄来一则松尾芭蕉非常美妙的轶事。松尾芭蕉是日本最负盛名的俳句诗人，他是俳句大师。不过他不仅是个诗人，在成为诗人之前，他也是个神秘家。在开始诉说美丽的诗歌之前，他先深入了自己的中心。他曾是个静心者。
据说芭蕉年轻时有一次行脚。那趟旅程是一次发现自己的修行。没过多久，他听到森林里传来落单小孩的哭声。他也许正坐在一棵树下，正在静心或者准备静心，这时他听到森林里有落单小孩的哭声。他沉思了很久要怎么做。然后他收拾好包袱，继续上路，让那个孩子听凭自己的造化。
他在日记里写道：“助人先助己。”
看上去铁石心肠……一个孤零零的孩子在森林里，哭泣，而这个人在沉思是否要插手、他是否能帮助这个孩子、出手帮助到底对不对。一个孩子，一个无助的孩子在野外哭泣，孤身一人，迷失方向，而松尾芭蕉对此静心，最后做出决定——在他还没有帮助自己之前，他怎么可能帮助别人。他自己都迷失在旷野，他自己都孤单一人，他自己都还是个孩子，他有什么能力帮助别人？
这个故事看上去非常无情，但非常有意义。我并不是说，如果你在森里林发现一个哭泣的孩子，不要去帮助他。但要试着理解：你自己的灯还没有点亮，你就开始帮助别人。你自己的内在都一片漆黑，你就开始助人。你自己都还在受苦，你就开始为大众服务。你还没有经历内在的叛逆，却成了一个革命者。
这完全是荒谬的，但每个人心里都会产生这种想法。帮助别人似乎显得天经地义。事实上，真正需要改变自己的人总是对改变别人感兴趣。那变成一种占据，这样他们就能忘记自己。
这一直是我的观察。我见过许多社工、志工，我从来没有发现有人拥有可以帮助别人的内在光明。但是，他们热心助人。他们疯狂地追求转变社会、人们以及人们的观念，他们完全忘记了他们没有对自己做同样的事情。他们忙得不可开交。
一次，一个年长的革命者兼社会工作者和我呆在一起。我问他：“你全情投入你的事业。你有想过如果你的设想真的发生了，如果发生奇迹，一觉醒来，你想要的一切都发生了，接下来你要怎么办？你有想过吗？”
他笑了——非常空洞——然后他变得有点难过。他说：“如果那是可能的，我不知道接下来要做什么。如果这个世界完全如我所愿，我会不知所措。我甚至可能自杀。”
这些人忙个不停，这是他们的执念。他们选择了一个永远不可能满足的执念。这样你就能一直改变别人，生生世世。你凭什么？
这也是一种自我：别人铁石心肠，相互践踏。“别人铁石心肠”，这种想法就给你一种你非常温柔的感觉。不，你并不是。这也许是你的野心之路：去帮助别人，帮助他们变得温柔，帮助他们变得更善良、更慈悲。
纪伯伦写过一个小故事：
曾经有一只狗，也可以说是一个伟大的革命家，他总是教育小镇上其他的狗：“因为你们乱吠一通，所以我们没有进步。你们无谓地吠叫浪费了你们的能量。”一个邮差路过，突然之间……一个警察路过，一个出家人路过……狗反对制服，不管什么制服，它们是反抗者，它们立刻开始吠叫。
那个领袖经常告诉它们：“停止这种行为！不要浪费能量，因为这些能量可以用来做有用的、创造性的事情。狗族可以统治整个世界，但你们在毫无意义地浪费能量。这个习惯必须改掉。这是唯一的罪，原罪。”
众狗一致觉得他完全正确。他的逻辑是正确的：为什么你要一直叫吠？大量能量被浪费了。你会感到疲惫。日复一日，你从早上开始吠叫，到了晚上感到疲惫。这有什么意义？
它们可以明白领袖的用意，但也知道它们只是狗，是卑微的狗。这个理想很高大，这个领袖是一个真正的启示者——因为他身体力行。他从不无故吠叫。你可以看到他的人格魅力：他知行合一。
不过慢慢地，它们厌倦他的谆谆教诲。有一天它们决定——那天是领袖的生日——它们决定，作为一份礼物，至少当天晚上它们要遏制住吠叫的冲动。至少有一个晚上，它们要向领袖致意，送给他一份礼物。他肯定会高兴坏了。
那个晚上，所有的狗都停止了吠叫。那非常困难、艰难。那种难度就和你静心时要停止思考一样。那是同样的问题。它们停止了吠叫，虽然过去它们一直吠叫。它们并不是伟大的圣人，它们只是凡人。但它们努力尝试。那非常、非常艰难。它们躲起来，闭上眼睛，咬紧牙关，这样它们就什么也看不到，什么也听不到。那是一次高强度的修行。
领袖在小镇里巡视。他非常疑惑：“要向谁宣讲？现在要去教导谁呢？发生了什么事？”小镇一片寂静。午夜过后，他突然非常恼怒，因为他从没想过狗群真的会听从他。他清楚他们绝不会听从，因为吠叫是狗的天性。他的要求是不自然的，但是，狗群停止吠叫了。他的领袖地位岌岌可危。他明天要做什么？因为他知道的一切就是教导。他的圣职面临着全面危机。他首度意识到，因为他一直从早到晚进行教育，所以他从没感觉有吠叫的需求。他全情投入其中，那也是一种吠叫。
但那个晚上，没有任何地方、任何一只狗出状况。这位传道者开始有了吠叫的强烈冲动。毕竟，本性难移。接下来，他进到一条漆黑的巷子里，开始吠叫。当其它的狗听到有狗打破了约定，它们说：“我们干嘛还要忍着？”结果整个小镇都开始吠叫。
后来领袖回来了，说：“你们这群笨蛋！你们什么时候才会停止吠叫？因为你们的吠叫，我们一成不变。否则的话，我们已经统治了整个世界。”
记住，一个公仆、一个革命家的要求是不可能的，但这让他保持忙碌。当你忙于别人的问题，你就倾向于忘记自身的问题。首先搞定你自己的问题，那才是你首要的、基本的任务。
一个有名的心理学家出于好玩买下一个农场。每次当他把谷种撒到犁好的地里，一队黑色的乌鸦就会俯冲下来啄食他的谷种。最终，收起自身的傲慢，心理学家求助于他的老邻居：毛拉•那斯鲁丁。
毛拉走进地里，把所有的种植动作做了一遍，但没有撒任何种子。群鸦俯冲下来，骚动了一会儿，飞走了。第二天和第三天毛拉重复了这个过程，每次都让乌鸦们困惑不解并空手而归。最后，到了第四天，他在地里撒了种子，没有一只乌鸦想来了。
当心理学家试图感谢毛拉，毛拉咕哝着说：“不就是浅显的心理学常识，没听说过吗？”
记住，这是非常浅显的心理学常识：关你屁事（not to poke your nose into others' affairs）。如果别人犯了错误，那是他们要去认识的。没有人可以强迫他们认识。除非他们自己决定要认识，否则没有办法，而你会浪费你宝贵的时间和精力。你的首要责任是转化自己的生命。当你的生命转化了，事情就自动开始发生。
你变成一盏明灯，人们开始经由你的光亮发现他们的道路。不是你要主动，不是你要强迫他们去看见。你的光明，你亮起的灯火，已经足够成为邀请了，人们会来的。需要光明的人就会来找你。你不需要去找任何人，那种找寻本身就是愚蠢的。没有人改变过一个没有意愿的人。那不是事物的规律。这是个浅显的心理学常识，没听说过吗？……专注在你自己身上就好。
BEING OUTSIDE THE ASHRAM IS SOMETIMES HARD FOR ME, FOR I SEE HOW HARD PEOPLE ARE AND STEP ON EACH OTHER. THIS HURTS ME MUCH, SOMETIMES EVEN BODILY, AND IF EEL VULNERABLE LIKE A SMALL CHILD. PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.
A：
THERE are always problems in the world, and the world has always been there, and the world will remain there. If you start working out: changing circumstances, changing people, thinking of a utopian world, changing the government, the structure, the economy, the politics, the education, you will be lost. That is the trap known as politics. That's how many people waste their own lives. Be very clear about it: the only person you can help right now is you yourself. Right now you cannot help anybody. This may be just a distraction, just a trick of the mind. See your own problems, see your own anxieties, see your own mind, and first try to change it.
It happens to many people: the moment they become interested in some sort of religion, meditation, prayer, immediately the mind tells them, "What are you doing sitting here silently? The world needs you; there are so many poor people. There is much conflict, violence, aggression. What are you doing praying in the temple? Go and help people." How can you help those people? You are just like them. You may create even more problems for them, but you cannot help. That's how all the revolutions have always failed. No revolution has yet succeeded because the revolutionaries are in the same boat.
The religious person is one who understands that "I am very tiny, I am very limited. If with this limited energy, even if I can change myself, that will be a miracle". And if you can change yourself, if you are a totally different being with new life shining in your eyes and a new song in your heart, then maybe you can be helpful to others also, because then you will have something to share.
Just the other day Shiva sent me a very beautiful incident in the life of Basho. Basho is the greatest haiku poet of Japan, the Master haiku poet. But he was not just a poet. Before becoming a poet he was a mystic; before he starting pouring out with beautiful poetry, he poured deep into his own center. He was a meditator.
It is said that Basho was entering upon a journey when he was a young man. The journey was an endeavor to find himself. Not long after he had begun he heard a small child crying alone in the forest -- maybe he was sitting under a tree, meditating, or trying to meditate; he heard a small child crying alone in the forest. He meditated for a long time on what to do. He then picked up his pack and continued on his way, leaving the child to its own fate.
In his journal he recorded: "First one has to do what one needs for oneself before one can do anything for another."
Looks hard...a child alone in the forest, crying, and this man meditates on whether to do anything or not, whether he can help the child, whether it will be right to help him or not. A child, a helpless child crying in the wilderness, alone, lost -- and Basho meditates over it and finally decides that how can he help somebody else when he has not even helped himself yet. He himself is lost in a wilderness, he himself is lonely, he himself is childish. How can he help anybody?
The incident looks very hard, but is very meaningful. I'm not saying don't help a child in the forest if you find him crying and weeping. But try to understand: your own light is not burning and you start helping others. Your own inner being is in total darkness and you start helping others. You yourself are suffering and you become a servant of the people. You have not passed through the inner rebellion and you become a revolutionary. This is simply absurd, but this idea arises in everybody's mind. It seems so simple to help others. In fact, people who really need to change themselves always become interested in changing others. That becomes an occupation, and they can forget themselves.
This is what I have watched. I have seen so many social workers, SARVODAYIS, and I have never seen a single person who has any inner light to help anybody. But they are trying hard to help everybody. They are madly after transforming the society and the people and people's minds, and they have completely forgotten that they have not done the same to themselves. But they become occupied.
Once an old revolutionary and social worker was staying with me. I asked him, "You are completely absorbed in your work. Have you ever thought if what you really want happens, if by a miracle, overnight, all that you want happens, what you will do the next morning? Have you ever thought about it?"
He laughed -- a very empty laughter -- but then he became a little sad. He said, "If it is possible, I will be at a loss as to what to do then. If the world is exactly as I want it, then I will be at a loss for what to do. I may even commit suicide."
These people are occupied; this is their obsession. And they have chosen such an obsession which can never be fulfilled. So you can go on changing others, life after life. Who are you?
This is also a sort of ego: that others are hard upon each other, that they are stepping on each other. Just the idea that others are hard gives you a feeling that you are very soft. No, you are not. This may be your way of ambition: to help people, to help them to become soft, to help them to become more kind, compassionate.
Kahlil Gibran has written a small story:
There was a dog, a great revolutionary one might say, who was always teaching other dogs of the town that "Just because of your nonsense barking we are not growing. You waste your energy by barking unnecessarily." A postman passes, and suddenly...a policeman passes, a sannyasin passes.... Dogs are against uniforms, any sort of uniform, and they are revolutionaries. They immediately start barking.
The leader used to tell them, "Stop this! Don't waste energy, because:this same energy can be put into something useful, creative. Dogs can rule the whole world, but you are wasting your energy for no purpose at all. This habit has to be dropped. This is the only sin, the original sin."
The dogs were always feeling that he was perfectly right; logically, he was right: why do you go on barking? And much energy is wasted; one feels tired. Again the next morning one starts barking, and again by the night one is tired. What is the point of it all? They could see the leader's meaning, but they also knew that they were just dogs, poor dogs. The ideal was very great and the leader was really a revealer -- because whatsoever he was preaching he was doing. He never used to bark. You could see his character: that whatsoever he preached he practiced also.
But by and by, they got tired of his constant preaching. One day they decided -- it was the birthday of the leader -- and they decided, as a gift, that at least on that night they would resist the temptation to bark. At least for one night they would respect the leader and give him a gift. He could not be more happy than this. All the dogs stopped that night. It was very difficult, arduous. It was just like when you are meditating, how difficult it is to stop thinking. It was the same problem. They stopped barking, and they had always barked. And they were not great saints, but ordinary dogs. But they tried hard. It was very, very arduous. They were hiding in their places with closed eyes, with clenched teeth, so they would not see anything, they would not listen to anything. It was a great discipline. The leader walked around the town. He was very puzzled: "To whom to preach? Whom to teach now? What has happened?" -- complete silence. Then suddenly when midnight had passed, he became so annoyed, because he had never really thought that the dogs would listen to him. He had known well that they would never listen, that it was just natural for dogs to bark. His demand was unnatural, but the dogs had stopped. His whole leadership was at stake. What was he going to do from tomorrow? because all he knew was just to teach. His whole ministry was at stake. And then for the first time he realized that because he was constant}y teaching from the morning till the night that's why he had never felt the need to bark. The energy was so involved, and that was a sort of barking.
But that night, nowhere, nobody was found guilty. And the preacher-dog started feeling a tremendous urge to bark. A dog is, after all, a dog. Then he went into a dark lane and started barking. When the other dogs heard that somebody had broken the agreement, then they said, "Why should we suffer?" The whole town started barking. Back came the leader and said, "You fools! When are you going to stop barking? Because of your barking we have remained just dogs. Otherwise, we would have dominated the whole world."
Remember well that a social servant, a revolutionary, is asking for the impossible -- but it keeps him occupied. And when you are occupied with others' problems, you tend to forget your own problems. First, settle those problems, because that is your first, basic responsibility.
A famous psychologist had bought a farm just for fun. Every time he threw grain into his plowed furrows an army of black crows would swoop down and gobble up his grain. Finally, swallowing his pride, the psychologist appealed to his old neighbor, Mulla Nasrudin.
The Mulla stepped into the field and went through all the motions of planting without using any seed. The crows swooped down, protested briefly and flew away. The Mulla repeated the process the next day and then the next, each time sending the birds off befuddled and hungry. Finally, on the fourth day, he planted the field with grain; not a crow bothered to come.
When the psychologist tried to thank Mulla, the Mulla grunted. "Just plain ordinary psychology," said he. "Ever heard of it?"
Remember, this is very plain, ordinary psychology: not to poke your nose into others' affairs. If they are doing something wrong, that is for them to realize. Nobody else can make them realize. Unless they decide to realize it there is no way, and you will be wasting your valuable time and energy. Your first responsibility is to transform your own being. And when your being is transformed things start happening of their own accord. You become a light and people start finding their paths through your light. Not that you go, not that you force them to see. Your light, burning bright, is enough invitation; people start coming. Whosoever is in need of light will come to you. There is no need to go after anybody because that very going is foolish. Nobody has changed anybody against his will. That is not the way things happen. This is plain, ordinary psychology; ever heard of it?... just keep to yourself.
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