我撒谎的时候他会悄悄地在我心上拧一把。他撒谎的时候我也以相似的方式通知他。我们都不是不撒谎的人。我们都不是没有撒过谎的人。我们都不是能够保证不再撒谎的人。When I lie, he will secretly twist my heart. I also informed him in a similar way when he lied. We are not people who do not tell lies. We are not people who have never told lies. We are not people who can guarantee that we will not lie again.
但我们都会因为对方的撒谎而恼怒，因为对方的指责而羞愧。恼怒和羞愧，有时弄得我们寝食难安，半夜起来互相埋怨。But we will be annoyed by each other's lies and ashamed by each other's accusations. Anger and shame sometimes make us restless and wake up in the middle of the night to complain to each other.
公开的诚实当然最好，但这对于我们，眼下还难做到。那就退而求其次——保持私下的诚实，这样至少可以把自己看得清楚。把自己看得清楚也许是首要的。Open honesty is of course the best, but it is difficult for us to achieve at the moment. Then settle for the next best thing - keep your honesty private, so that you can at least see yourself clearly. Seeing yourself clearly may be the first priority.
但是，真能把自己看清楚吗？至少我们有此强烈的愿望。我是谁？以及史铁生到底何物？一直是我们所关注的。But can you really see yourself clearly? At least we have this strong desire. Who am I? And what is Shi Tiesheng? It has always been our concern.
公开的诚实为什么困难？史铁生和我之间的诚实何以要容易些？我们一致相信，这里面肯定有着曲折并有趣的逻辑。Why is it difficult to be honest in public? Why is it easier for Shi Tiesheng and me to be honest? We all believe that there must be a tortuous and interesting logic behind it.
一个欲望横生如史铁生者，适合由命运给他些打击，比如截瘫，比如尿毒症，还有失学、失业、失恋等等。这么多年我渐渐看清了这个人，若非如此，料他也是白活。A person with a strong desire like Shi Tiesheng is suitable for being hit by fate, such as paraplegia, uremia, and loss of education, unemployment, and love. Over the years, I have gradually come to understand this person. If not for this, I believe he would have lived in vain.
若非如此他会去干什么呢？我倒也说不准，不过我料他难免去些火爆的场合跟着起哄，他那颗不甘寂寞的心我是了解的。What would he do if he didn't? I'm not sure, but I think he will inevitably go to some heated occasions and join in the crowd. I know his unwillingness to be left out.
他会东一头西一头撞得找不着北，他会患得患失总也不能如意，然后，以“生不逢时”一类的大话来开脱自己和折磨自己。He will be confused and unable to find his way, and he will always worry about gains and losses, and then use big words like "born at the wrong time" to excuse himself and torture himself.
我想，上帝为人性写下的最本质的两条密码是：残疾与爱情。残疾即残缺、限制、阻障……是属物的，是现实。I believe that the two essential codes God wrote for humanity are disability and love. Disability represents imperfection, limitation, and obstacle, which belong to the material world and reality.
爱情属灵，是梦想，是对美满的祈盼，是无边无限的，尤其是冲破边与限的可能，是残缺的补救。Love belongs to the spirit, is a dream, a prayer for perfection, and boundless and infinite, especially the possibility of breaking through boundaries and limitations, and a remedy for imperfection.
每一个人，每一代人，人间所有的故事，千差万别，千变万化，但究其底蕴终会露出这两种消息。Everyone, every generation, and all stories in the world are different and ever-changing, but when you look into their essence, you will find these two themes.
现实与梦想，理性与激情，肉身与精神，以及战争与和平，科学与艺术，命运与信仰，怨恨与宽容，困苦与欢乐……大凡前项，终难免暴露残缺，或说局限，因而补以后项，后项则一律指向爱的前途。Reality and dreams, rationality and passion, the physical body and the spirit, as well as war and peace, science and art, fate and faith, resentment and forgiveness, hardship and joy... All the former inevitably reveal imperfection or limitation, which is compensated by the latter, and the latter all point to the future of love.
就说史铁生和我吧，这么多年了，他以其残疾的现实可是没少连累我。我本来是想百米跑上个9秒7，跳高跳它个2米5，然后也去登一回珠穆朗玛峰的。Take Shi Tiesheng and me, for example. Over the years, he has burdened me a lot with his reality of disability. I originally wanted to run 100 meters in 9.7 seconds, jump 2.5 meters in high jump, and even climb Mount Everest once.
可这一个铁生拖了我的后腿，先天不足后天也不足，这倒好，别人还以为我是个好吹牛的。But this Tiesheng has dragged me down, with innate and acquired deficiencies. As a result, others may think I'm a big bragger.
事情到此为止也就罢了，可他竟忽然不走，继而不尿，弄得我总得跟他一起去医院“透析”——把浑身的血都弄出来洗，洗干净了再装回去，过不了三天又得重来一回。If it had ended there, it would have been fine. But he suddenly couldn't walk and then couldn't urinate, forcing me to go to the hospital with him for dialysis - to extract all his blood, clean it, and put it back. This had to be repeated every three days.
可不是麻烦吗？但又有什么办法？末了儿还得我来说服他，这个吧，那个吧，白天黑夜的我可真没少费话，这么着他才算答应活下来，并于某年某月某日忽然对我说他要写作。Isn't it troublesome? But what else could be done? In the end, it was still up to me to persuade him. This and that, I really talked a lot to him, day and night. Only in this way did he finally promise to go on living. And then, on a certain day of a certain month in a certain year, he suddenly told me that he wanted to write.
好哇，写呗。什么文学呀，挨不上！写了半天，其实就是我没日没夜跟他说的那些个话。Well, write then. What does literature have to do with it! After writing for a while, it turned out to be those words I said to him day and night.
当然他也对我说些话，这几十年我们就是这么你一言我一语地说过来的，要不然这日子可真没法过。Of course, he also said some words to me. We have been talking like this for decades, otherwise, this life would be unbearable.
说着说着，也闹不清是从哪天起他终于信了：地狱和天堂都在人间，即残疾与爱情，即原罪与拯救。As we talked, it was unclear from which day he finally believed: hell and heaven are both on earth, which is disability and love, original sin and salvation.
